loveydovey82 Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 I was used on Halloween night and I thought I should vent about it. Just to let you all know that I had this coming, because I'm usually the one doing the using. Ok, here it is. I went out with some friends and this guy that we all know. The guy and I knew we were hot for each other. So we wound up spending the night together. But it is what happened that makes me feel used. He has a real f'ed up situation with his ex gf and they have a baby. Which doesn't bother me. He made it a point to ask me how I felt about him having a child. I told him straight up that it isn't an issue as long as he was a responsible father. Oh, god. I'm so embarrassed to say this. We got a cheap dirty hotel. In the mean time he was really nice. I was trashed...so was he. So we stayed up all night talking and doing the deed. He said that he wanted to take me out and that he would call me. I didn't care...so I just said yeah sure. (In the back of my mind, I was thinking it would be nice for me to have a functional relationship for once, but I can't do relationships.) He just kept saying it. It was so strange. He was like I'll call you Thursday and we'll go out friday or make plans. He was seriously bothering me. (Part of me believed him...most of me didn't...) Then we get up and I'm like totally starving and he was like let me take you to get breakfast. I said no. I had to get gas in my car. So I got out to get gas and he got out too (my ex bf never got out of the car with me to get gas...I thought it was nice of him) He even pumped it for me. Then he pulled me closer to him and kissed me...I was like whoa...I drove him to his car and this is where it gets all weird. He says, let me give you my number. I told him that I wouldn't call him, b/c that isn't how I handle things. He could call me if he wanted, but he didn't have his phone on him. So he makes me take his number and so I call it to store it in my phone. Then the number calls back. So I hand him the phone and it's his "old lady." At this point, I'm like F it all. He said he gave me the wrong number and that I shouldn't ever answer that number or call it. So I'm just like get out of the car now... He leans over and hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. We part and say goodbye. I'm really holding back getting his real number from a friend and just bitching him out... As I was writing this, I just got a call from an unknown number and a woman said "Is Justin there?" I said no sorry wrong number, and she said ok thanks...then as she was hanging up she said "bitch" really loudly. I'm seriously pissed...at myself and him...
The Joker Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 Interesting the book in which you have for your avatar. Considering it would make one think you had religious values, and some self respect. Where as all the above ^^^^ is like a quote one would expect in a gas station romance novel.
Author loveydovey82 Posted November 2, 2007 Author Posted November 2, 2007 Interesting the book in which you have for your avatar. Considering it would make one think you had religious values, and some self respect. Where as all the above ^^^^ is like a quote one would expect in a gas station romance novel. My avatar is "sarcastic". Do you know what that word means? I never claimed to have supremacy over anyone or be a goody goody. I do have self respect. I only do "it" with hot guys. lol... I don't feel good about what I did, hence my posting. Maybe you need to take some reading comprehension courses...?
Author loveydovey82 Posted November 2, 2007 Author Posted November 2, 2007 Wow, that sucks! Pretty much...ouch :mad:
jcster Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 That really sucks! Too bad the jerks don't have it tatooed on their foreheads - it would save us all a lot of trouble.
The Joker Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 Yes that's it, i totally comprehended your wonderful story incorrectly. If i had read it properly i would have seen the stars aligned themselves that night for a destined hi-octane romance at a less than stellar motel. I would have seen the reason you are fuming here and the flashpoint which ignited this dire situation. After all having $20 from #2 pumped into your tank, my pity and understanding should have been more tailored towards how you feel and your need for attention seeking while venting here, and not so much about all the people you yourself use.
Timberlane Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Well, regardless of how hot you think this guy is, he is a moron. He fathered a child with another mentally defective person that is obviously wise to his ways, thus making her only slightly less stupid. There is no reason what so ever to worry about him anymore. Glad you vented. So get out there and meet someone that doesn't suck. A tall order, of course, but maybe possible.
Author loveydovey82 Posted November 3, 2007 Author Posted November 3, 2007 Yes that's it, i totally comprehended your wonderful story incorrectly. If i had read it properly i would have seen the stars aligned themselves that night for a destined hi-octane romance at a less than stellar motel. I would have seen the reason you are fuming here and the flashpoint which ignited this dire situation. After all having $20 from #2 pumped into your tank, my pity and understanding should have been more tailored towards how you feel and your need for attention seeking while venting here, and not so much about all the people you yourself use. I am by no means "attention seeking". I am having a pretty sh*tty time and you are the wonderful person making me feel warm and tingly inside. I was just looking for an outlet. You are not a nice person. You get your jollies by being mean and judgmental. That is sick. This forum is for people to speak their minds, not to have the moral police chase after them. p.s. The gas tank thing was just an aside. It was not the main point of the story.
Timberlane Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Also, I love your avatar loveydovey. I "got it" the second I recognized it.
Author loveydovey82 Posted November 3, 2007 Author Posted November 3, 2007 Also, I love your avatar loveydovey. I "got it" the second I recognized it. Thank you! I honestly just needed to hear a few kind words. I feel really terrible about it all. I think that this was a huge wake up call to me, that I need to stop being so careless and brash. It also made me realize why I can be so cold and distant. I also told my friends that they could totally disown me if I ever talk to him again. They agreed! I was walking into work and a friend there said that I was too beautiful to feel this way about a guy. It is so true that feeling bad isn't worth anything. Thanks again!
Timberlane Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Hey, big hugs to you loveydovey. Vent any time you want. I'll listen. I have enjoyed doing the same more than once, and also have enjoyed sharing good news as well.
Lyssa Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 What an a-hole! After all those "I'll call you and we can go out" talk, he asked you to take him num?? Gee whizz... men! Thank goodness not ALL men are like him!
Sean0775 Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 I was used on Halloween night and I thought I should vent about it. Just to let you all know that I had this coming, because I'm usually the one doing the using. Seeing that you feel this bad about being used, do you plan on using anyone in the future knowing that it probably makes them feel the same way? If your answer is yes, you deserve no sympathy.
tmarie55 Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 It's obvious you put up a wall of "i don't really care that much either way" when you really do...first off, reaiize it's okay to have feelings and find someone who wants to get to know YOU plus have great sex with you. Furthermore, if he is that stupid to give you a wrong number like that, plus obviously his ex, or even, ex-still-drama-sleeping-with-baby's-mama calls you immediately...there's only worse to come....Uh does SHE have his cell phone at her place where he left it...YES Why did he persist in getting together with you...he might really like you, it might be a rebound, it could escape the reality of his current situation...or just want to ensure casual sex in the future. No matter what, figure out what YOU want and what will healthy and happy for you. Im my opinion, it doesn't seem worthwile to pursue this further. Kudos to you for staying out of it, just make sure you keep out of it.
LoisLane Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Lose the loser. Oh you already did, right? Good for you.
EYECANDY000 Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 im a little confused or may be i didnt read it right.. did he intentionally give u the wrong number or did he give u the right number and his ex gf picked up the phone and has been calling u
Author loveydovey82 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 im a little confused or may be i didnt read it right.. did he intentionally give u the wrong number or did he give u the right number and his ex gf picked up the phone and has been calling u I've been analyzing that night. I have figured that he gave me the wrong number to make his gf jealous. What a sicko...if that is what it was... But when it happened, he said it was an accident b/c he has 2 phones and his phone wasn't on him or he lost it. He did act a little hurt though when I said that I wouldn't call him. He said he wanted the ball to be in my court...?! I got a number for him from a friend and I called it, to confront him, and it says that the nextel number is not in service at this time. I just can't believe that he would tell everyone that he wasn't with the gf anymore and that she was moving out of state with the baby. If this is true then I guess I'm the ass, but if not, it means he lied to everyone for a long time. My friend that hooked me up with him, completely believed him. She said she would have never hooked me up with him if she had even the slightest bad feeling about him. That is what makes this whole scenario hard to believe.
Starry-eyed Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 I don't mean to be harsh, but it sounds like you knew what you were getting in to. You say that you are the one who usually does the using, so it sounds like you are used to one-night stands and perhaps saying things that you don't mean (like, "Yeah, I'd like to go out with you again.") It's definitely great to vent and get your hurt out, but given what you've described as your behavior and his, this scenario isn't surprising. Hopefully you'll learn from this and be a better person for it. That's how we grow as people.
magenificent Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 This is going to sound pretty pompous, and I apologize for any offense: It sounds like you are hurting pretty badly, and not just from this guy. I think your best move would be to take an honest look at your fears, and what leads you to believe you deserve to treat yourself like that. I'm NOT judging - I just don't think that ignoring the bigger problem and focusing on just recent events will help you much. Were you raised by your parents or someone else? Did anyone ever hurt you as a child? Stuff like that, even though it probably seems 'normal' to you and "no big deal," actually can affect you in life, as much as you try to leave it behind. The harder you try to avoid the stuff that really hurts, the more you'll hurt yourself. You are much, much better than that. These mistakes you're making don't have to be just that; if you use them to learn about yourself (constructively, not just use them to tear yourself down!), you may come to find that there's actually a lot to like. For example, you defended yourself against the other poster about how you didn't feel good about what happened - it's a lot harder to stand up against criticisms when they come from within. Trust me, though, if you don't fight that critic inside you, she will run your life. Another thought, if you don't have quite enough motivation to deal with all the crap that's weighing you down: you said you might want children one day. Before you get into another questionable situation, ask yourself if that's the kind of person you want to be for your kids; if you are going to be a strong, healthy parent, start getting strong - truly strong, with a lot of honesty and self-knowledge - now.
Author loveydovey82 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 I don't mean to be harsh, but it sounds like you knew what you were getting in to. You say that you are the one who usually does the using, so it sounds like you are used to one-night stands and perhaps saying things that you don't mean (like, "Yeah, I'd like to go out with you again.") It's definitely great to vent and get your hurt out, but given what you've described as your behavior and his, this scenario isn't surprising. Hopefully you'll learn from this and be a better person for it. That's how we grow as people. It isn't harsh, but I honestly didn't know that I was going to become a home-wrecker. That is what hurts me so badly. I can get over a guy anytime. One night stands are not something that I do on a regular basis, but I do understand that sometimes people use each other. I have done this to guys before. I have never said anything I didn't mean to someone. I don't lead guys on to believe things that are false. I have learned from this situation. I'm going to become asexual. Were you raised by your parents or someone else? Did anyone ever hurt you as a child? Stuff like that, even though it probably seems 'normal' to you and "no big deal," actually can affect you in life, as much as you try to leave it behind. I have a great family. My parents have been married for 43 years. I have never been hurt by anyone as a child. I just happen to not believe that marriage is for me. One day I think that maybe I might change my mind. I do get lonely sometimes, but I also enjoy being alone. I also think that sometimes it would be nice to have a steady bf, but I have yet to find a guy that I really want to be monogamous with.
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