nadiaj2727 Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 (After two weeks of trying to be completely NC w/ xMM but failing miserably, and telling him every way I could think of that I no longer want to be with him, no matter what...) This morning he sent me this email: I am correct, right? that you have decided, as you said: 1. I am not your soulmate 2. you will never go out with me when I am single It's not what I want, but things are ending on a horrible note and there really is no way around it. I don't want to mince words. This is what you said. I need to know to know if this accurate. ARGH of course I have not responded. This is what I really, really want to say: "OF COURSE YOU ARE NOT MY SOULMATE B/C MY SOULMATE IS NOT MARRIED. AND HOW DARE YOU ASK ME IF I'M YOUR SOULMATE WHEN YOU'RE NOT AVAILABLE TO BE MY SOULMATE." I also want to say, if you wanted to find out if I would go out with you when you were single, you should have waited to ask me until you were single, or at least wait now that I request that, and find out the hard way, take the risk on me like any other guy would have to do for any other woman who he wasn't already married to. I am not guaranteeing you anything. I already said I want out of this relationship, and I shouldn't have to say whether or not I would date you WHEN you are single (yeah right, he'll never be single) for you to respect my wishes and let me go in peace. But I guess the best thing to do is just not respond at all, right? I just want to tell him HOW LITTLE SENSE HE IS MAKING. I want to show him how stupid I know he is. Is there anything I could say that would be better than nothing? Or is silence the best way to make him understand?
frannie Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 He knows that sending you that email would 'make you want to say' a lot of things to him... that's why he did it. Trying to get you to buy in to not ending it on a "horrible" note. Did the email you sent to him explain how you felt and what you need from him in simple terms? If so, there's surely no need for clarification..? Not wishing to cut him off without a real understanding of the situation... Have you asked him to stop emailing you? (asked for NC?). If he can't manage that, and you can't bear reading his mail and not responding, then can you put his email on block?
Author nadiaj2727 Posted November 2, 2007 Author Posted November 2, 2007 I have told him I need complete no contact. I said no emails, no phone calls, no attempts to see me, etc. The exception is for work-related things, which sucks b/c we work together so that *has* to be the exception. He went one weekend without contacting me (last weekend)... but then when I got to work on Monday he had all these "work" projects for me to do and all these reasons to talk to me about work stuff. Of course he would start talking to and emailing me about personal stuff while we were working on the work stuff. (That's how the whole A started in the first place *sigh* except I used to *welcome* his personal advances, they used to feel exhilirating!). He sulked that I hadn't contacted him all weekend, and even said, "I had offered to fix your furnace for you so I can't believe you didn't text or call me over the weekend just to say 'no thanks, I got someone else to do it'" (This would have been AFTER I specifically requested no contact... why would *I* text or call him for anything?!). He keeps asking me to have meetings with him to go over work projects in the evening or at 8 in the morning... times when no one else is around. He knows I often work late (and have to even more now that I try to avoid him during the day!), so he keeps working late himself and on Tuesday night he even brought a tennis ball and played with my dog, whom he knows I bring into the office on evenings I work. It gets to be one of those things where I don't want to be cruel and say "please stop playing with my dog," but I guess I'm going to have to. I've been just ignoring him, talking to him about the work stuff and then leaving his office as soon as I can, and trying not to be at work when he's here, but that seems to make him even more upset b/c he thinks I'm snubbing him and he'll storm into my office with a temper tantrum asking me why I can't just be nice to him in a professional manner... when he himself knows he is not keeping it professional by coming in at 8pm with a tennis ball for my dog. I definitely can't block his work email. I can change my personal account, it's just a yahoo one anyway. I just will close it so he can no longer send me personal email. I'll get a new one and tell my friends it's changed. I won't leave any doors open besides the ones that I have to... the professional ones... ughgh.
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