Most of you were right..I'm in a STICKY situation and I need out~

[finallyhappyme]

Ok I'm loosing my freaking mind!!! Sooo..here is the link to my first post : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t131143/ I just re-read it and I want to barf. Roxy..where ever you are you should have put your response in BOLD in RED and posted it up 5 times until I got it!!

 

Anyways long story short..I had a HS sweetheart..didn't want me so i moved on to my ex..while with my ex HS sweetheart came back and confessed his love to me..I said we had to be friends because I had moved on. We stayed friends..my ex didn't appreciate me and my HS was there for me..so I left my ex and started dating my HS again. BIG MISTAKE!! I was 100% wrong!

 

Anyways yeah I'm a b*tch..I have realized a lot of things about my break up while being apart from my ex and having my HS sweetheart around. It turns out I was somewhat right..My HS sweetheart does have everything I have ever wanted in a man..future man..just not him I do love him which is why I wanted to say it to him...but I have realized I'm not in love with him.

 

I am in love with my ex of four years..but he's just not good for me. The breakup is FINALLY hitting me all at once and I havenever been so broken hearted. I can't stop crying. I know what brought it on too..I had never really told my ex the reasons of why I was angry at hm and why I really left him. I finally did and I expected him to be angry, flip it on me, and tell me I was wrong. But I got the exact opposite. He apologized profusely and said he admits to most of the problems we had being his fault. He was glad I pointed them out because he said until I did he couldn't see it. I also took his love and affection for granted most of the time. I admit this. I knew I was doing it to but I just figured there's always tomorrow to make it up to him, I always had something more important to worry about.

 

So..My ex said he was going to work on those things..I told him I would work on mines and we decided on NC for a long time. ITS KILLING ME. And worse is I have my HS sweetheart who I am currently dating oblivious to all thats going on. I alsready told him a few days ago that he couldn't be my bf and that I wanted to take things really really slow..I did say I love you..( YIKES ) but I know know I do love him but not in that way. He has all these plans for Christmas and the Holidays together. His family told me the other day I have never seen him so happy please don't break his heart and he just texted me with 'peek-a-boo I miss you' I want to shoot myself.

 

I want to tell him that I really f*cked up, I'm a b*tch and I'm still in love with my ex and I just need to heal because I'm super heartbroken and that I can't do 'US' right now. This would be the SECOND time i do this to him though. ( we kinda hooked up once before when my ex and I were on break and then I never called him again and got back with my ex ) His family knows this and they still love me and he still wants me. I really don't deserve for him to even be speaking to me.

 

We have been having sex and acting like a couple kinda ( more on his part) and at first I was really into it but then the reality hit me and I have been wanting to scream. He wants to hangout this weekend like planned and I don't know how to tell him.

 

So there it is.. go ahead tell me I'm evil..and all that..and then help me let him down gently.

[finallyhappyme]

That bad huh ?

[miss_T]

I think I know what is going on in your head. I had a hs bf and we dated for 3 years, two of those was a ldr and we realized we couldnt do it for another two because it was too long and we were too young. We ended the relationship still in love. I have moved on, but broke up with my current ex and now I am missing everything about my hs bf and am wondering if he is the one. I honestly think it is because I am afraid of being alone. If you are not happy with the hs bf, it could be that you two just grew in different directions during your time apart. Maybe he is a great guy you could love, but he will not be the exact guy you fell for. It is also very easy to see the good sides of the ex after you are broken up. It takes time to heal (sometimes a long time). Maybe one of these guys is this right guy for you, but the most important thing is figuring out who you are. I know it seems cliche to say it, but it really was an important thing for me. I still see the awesome qualities of my recent ex, I know that my hs bf has all the qualities I have ever wanted, but I know i am not meant to be with either and its tough. I don't think there is anything wrong with what you have done, but you need to figure out yourself before you start anything else.

[wowIlose]

You need to tell him now... You have no choice, its going to hurt him but dragging it out pretending you like him will hurt him more.

[alwayshurt]

I think I know what is going on in your head. I had a hs bf and we dated for 3 years, two of those was a ldr and we realized we couldnt do it for another two because it was too long and we were too young. We ended the relationship still in love. I have moved on, but broke up with my current ex and now I am missing everything about my hs bf and am wondering if he is the one. I honestly think it is because I am afraid of being alone. If you are not happy with the hs bf, it could be that you two just grew in different directions during your time apart. Maybe he is a great guy you could love, but he will not be the exact guy you fell for. It is also very easy to see the good sides of the ex after you are broken up. It takes time to heal (sometimes a long time). Maybe one of these guys is this right guy for you, but the most important thing is figuring out who you are. I know it seems cliche to say it, but it really was an important thing for me. I still see the awesome qualities of my recent ex, I know that my hs bf has all the qualities I have ever wanted, but I know i am not meant to be with either and its tough. I don't think there is anything wrong with what you have done, but you need to figure out yourself before you start anything else.

 

I don't agree with any words you said!!

Nobody, I repeat nobody, has the right to play with other people feelings. If you are brokenhearted you deal with it on your own and don't get involved innocent people. Especially if you're doing it consciously. So I don't think whatsoever that she hasn't done anything wrong. She is doing it all wrong. How do you think that guy is going to feel when she will tell him the truth?

 

 

Finallyhappyme,

what you're doing is so wrong and selfish. You are creating for yourself a bad karma and you get for what you give. I would never use another person as a rebound and worse you are telling him you love him.

I am sorry but I have no sympathy for you. I am suffering for a similar situation and I can tell you that it does not feel good.

We probably have this so called "nice guy syndrome" but at least we have true feelings.

Leave that guy alone. Apologize to him and don't show your face to him again. This is the best thing you can do.

[miss_T]

Alwayshurt,

 

I was not condoning her actions, but I don't think she wanted to hurt her hs bf on purpose which is where I was trying to go with it. You are right 'nothing wrong with what you have done' not the right words. I can't speak for finallyhappyme, but it seems like as soon as he came back into her life, she started seeing everything she used to miss about him and got confused about what and who she wanted. To me that is perfectly natural when someone pops back into your life and you are not expecting it. To me it still seems like she has no idea what she wants. but I really don't think he was a rebound. He was always there for her and she thought that was what she wanted, however he was always in her life and she never really took the time to get over her ex before moving on

 

Finallyhappyme,

 

My advice 'step back and take a long time to figure out who you are, by yourself' If you are always jumping between bf's it is difficult to figure out what you really want