Wow so many new posters.

[greengoddess]

I've never seen so many new posters all at once in this area.

 

Maybe everyone would like to introduce themselves and tell what brought them to an ow/om support board.

[liddie]

Hello GG!! I stumbled across LS a few months back and was amazed to see the support and advice everyone gave and received. I have been in a R with a MM for 10 months now (11 months tomorrow). I decided to post on LS to vent some frustration to ppl who really are going through the same type of thing. Unless you have fallen in love with someone you will never have, it is hard to understand what they are going thru. I have cherished the advice and support. I am now eagerly awaiting the day I can end it with MM and move on with my life!!

[greengoddess]

Hi Liddie. I was reading your story.

 

Have you considered calling the wife and being upfront with her and telling her that as soon as her hhusband comes back you plan to have no more contact with him?

 

I can just see this really escalating when he comes home. I also think she is going to watch his every move if she is already staking you out.

 

Maybe put her mind at ease about you and get her hatred off of you a bit and then when he comes home all the hatred will be directed at him and you would have taken the noble no lies route out of this.

 

Good luck.

[liddie]

You know GG, I have never thought about doing that. Hmmm.....

[delilah12]

hi GG - I'm new as well - I came here because right now, I am reeling from pain and it's such a secret, destructive pain - it's not like people can generally understand how people can go so wrong and wind up with so much hurt - I'm struggling to figure it all out -

[nadiaj2727]

Hi GG, I found this forum a couple weeks ago when I was trying to break it off with my xMM. At the time I didn't completely realize I even *was* an OW... I was so convinced that he was my *almost* divorced boyfriend and that we would soon be together. I had no idea my story was so very similar to so many other OWs who were told the same thing. Everyone here has been so supportive and have given me the advice and strength I need to go completely NC (before this board, I didn't realize what that meant, or that it was the answer to my trying-to-break-it-off-with-him-problem). I am really glad I found this forum b/c it opened my eyes to the reality of the situation and how much worse it could get if I didn't end it right away.

[indianlover]

Hi GG et al,

I was in a short term working situation that introduced me to a version of "myself" that I really liked - a person I thought didn't exist. We lived together for a week until he found a place to live. During the time we were in the same city I've never had such engaging conversations - from science to philosophy to business, religion, etc. It was like making love conversationally.

 

I knew from the get go that he was married and I had no bad intentions. He was one of very few close friends I had at the time, nothing more. His wife is far away (back home) taking care of his youngest kids who are about to head off to college. Anyway, there were mixed signs that I picked up on that told me he was both a committed husband, yet seemed to be pursuing me. One night right before I left it became clear that we were falling for eachother.

 

But the story kind of ends there. Being that we worked for the same company in very polar positions he didn't want to start anything. Being really far away from each other now we still talk over email occasionally. However he's set aside a long weekend (and he never takes vacation) to come see me in my new town with probably not so good intentions. I'm the OW in an emotional affair and could be more than that soon. So I sought out this forum to help me deal with the conflicting emotions already involved in my situation.

[CallMeCrazy]

Hello! I found this site online after my co-worker and I realized we were both OW... It was such a relief to be able to talk to someone (who can relate) about all I've been going through. I figured if we were in this situation, there had to be tons more people out there somewhere.

 

It's been really helpful to read through all the posts and think about what I intend to do....

 

Growing up, my mom was a BS and my dad a serial cheater, not to mention my profession seems to be full of people messing around. I've also been married and divorced myself. (No cheating involved with that R, we just weren't meant to be) So, I feel like I have witnessed a lot of different types of situations and perhaps can offer some kind of insightful thoughts... We'll see what everyone thinks....

[GirlZilla]

I too was an OW...for 2 1/2 years. Not to go into it as it is pretty much the same situation for all of us. It was nice to know that there were others in the world willing to talk about it. In real life, people don't. There is a shame associated with it. My MM and I started NC, 5 days ago...for good, after several previous attempts. He finally told his wife he wasn't happy....and he made the mistake of starting a discussion with her. Needless to say....W convinced him that she wanted to work things out. When he told me about this conversation a couple days later....he said "he owed it to her". Maybe, but after all the crap she put him through...I have come to the conclusion he is just a WIMP! I dont want to be with a WIMP...so, maybe it was best it all panned out this way. Still hurts, but it is what it is.....Thanks for a place to talk about all this!

[Babybird]

I was just thinking the same thing!!! I haven't been on in a while and I only recognize a few names, yours being one. Glad to see some familiar faces!!

[Phateless]

I'm new. My friends aren't always up for discussing this kind of thing, so I thought what the hell, let's see if a message board exists. Good ole Google.