caocholta Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 This is so complicated. I'll start from the very beginning. So about 2 months ago Paul and I broke up after being in an off and on relationship for 2 years. Within a week of breaking up with Paul this guy Aaron starts talking to me. Apparently he had been interested in me for sometime and he just couldn't get the balls to talk to me until now. I came to find out later that he had been talking about me to his friends for weeks before talking to me. I had noticed him the first day of class (we have a lab science together) and thought damn I wish I could get the nerve to talk to him, but he probably isn't interested in me. I will never forget how my heart skipped a beat when I first saw him. I knew, and I'm not just saying this to romanticize the story, I honestly knew innately that if we could talk and if he would give me a chance something amazing would happen. Despite all this, I wasn't ready for a relationship, and if I did start one I wanted a fun, non-serious one. But he came over and talked to me and immediately hit it off. We had a 15 minute break between our lab and our lecture and wound up talking for 25 minutes coming into class late together. This happened once more before we exchanged phone numbers. The following week he called me up to ask me on a date. I said sure. I figured it would be a free dinner if nothing else. Well we started talking and I was so intoxicated with our conversation and these weird feelings that I forgot to eat. I sat there talking to him and didn't eat a thing. We went back to his house and we talked about the theory of evolution and genesis and stupid intellectual things for 3 hours. finally I had to go home because it was getting late. The next day he called again to dinner again. This time I met his friends while one fixed his motorcycle in the garage. Afterwards we went out to dinner and I came down with this god awful migraine. And he didn't have a car so I had driven and it was so bad I had to have him drive me back to his house. I kind of passed out on the way there and he had stopped at a drug store to get me some Excedrin and water. So i took that, he carried me up the stairs to his bed and let me drool in a passed out slumber for 2 hours. God it was amazing. That night I came home and told my mom I met the man I was going to marry. I told her I was so scared of getting hurt, but this was it. Well it jsut got better and better, I kept having to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Plus when he wanted to have sex and i said wait, he was ok with it, big deal for me. And when I was ready and obviously the particular setting wasn't right instead of having sex with me in some strangers bedroom, obviously not fit for any kind of love making, he said he cared enough about me he would rather wait than have me become some chick he slept with at a party. But one month came around and he wanted to make a big deal out of it and all of the sudden he stopped calling. I mean he called, just not like he used to and he got bad about returning my calls. We didn't see eachother for almost a week (that was a long time for us) and we went to a party and everything seemed ok. I kind of felt something was off, but I couldn't get him alone to talk to him. The following week communication got worse. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but he rides a motorcycle and I would and still do worry about him wrecking on it. And so I jsut wanted a phone call at night to know he was ok. I mean I loved riding on the back of it, so I was not anti-bike in any means. And then he had a major calculus test he was studying for and got overwhelmed with that so I tried really hard to give him space to study, but I still wanted to hear is voice at night. Well the calculus test was on a Friday, and he has a 30 minute commute to the college and I only have a 5 minute commute, so I told him in celebration of taking the test, no matter how it went, I would take him out on a date. He broke up with me before the date. Giving me the excuse, at first, he was tired of disappointing me because he couldn't spend enough time with me. I just wanted to know he was ok, and spending time together on the weekends was more than enough for me. Then after telling him I wouldn't accept that as a reason and that he can't break up with me over that and I rambled on to say I would drive to his house right now, that I wasn't going to grovel for a relationship with him, but that we needed to talk in person, not over the phone. He then told me that he had not gotten over his ex. He needed space and time to grieve the relationship. You see, long story short, he was engaged to her, they were together for a year and a half. Halfway through the relationship she changed. She attempted suicide twice and as he came to find out it was never a healthy relationship to begin with. And his love for her literally made him blind to everything else. So with all this being said. The day after he broke up with me my kitchen caught on fire. Luckily besides the kitchen the house is fine. But still I had to live in a hotel and what not. This all happened this weekend btw. None of my "friends" will return my phone calls. Besides my family I've had to deal with this all alone. I'm also not the best off financially and because of unpaid tuition (that my father was going to pay) I had to go back to work full time to try to pay it off so I will be allowed to take classes in the spring. So anyway I gave him a phone call Wensday after our class together. Basically saying I have no idea why I'm calling you, other than I just need someone right now. That my "friends" have not turn out to be the friends I thought they were. He was sympathetic and told me if I wanted to talk I could meet him at this other part of campus. So I told him my woes and he told me he was really sorry. He's not sure what he should/supposed to do, but wishes he had some money he could give me. I told him he's not obligated to give me anything, nor do I want him to. He seemed kind of off put by that. If anyone else has some insight as to why please let me know. Anyway he said if I needed anything to give him a call. What I need more than anything is him.... I still don't get why he broke up with me. The two of us would try to play this "game" where we would find fault in the other person and neither of us could, we'd instead tell each other how our quirks make the other more beautiful. We never fought, there was just no good reason for him to break up with me. So I'm trying to rationalize this. Do I wait? or not. Do I try to talk to him about it. Do I give him complete space, or keep in loose contact with him. Do i have the right to ask him to tell me in person to my face he doesn't want a relationship with me? Is it selfish I want him to tell that to me? Can I call him this weekend, when I need a distraction from life here and ask if he has the time to distract me as a friend? Where do I go from here? And has any relationship ever worked out after something like this has happened? I also made the frightful mistake of emailing his friend asking him some questions, just trying to grasp the whole break up. It will be one week tomorrow and I'm more confused by it now than I was when it first happened.
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