loyalfriend Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 Hi--I'm new to this website, I heard some pretty good things about it, so I wanted to join. I heard you all were very welcoming. I'm starting this thread because I wanted some advice on this certain issue. I have been with my b/f for over 4 years now. We moved in together 5 mos. into the relationship. He is an amazing guy, who makes me smile every single day, but there's one thing that is bothering me. HIS FAMILY--Are nosy, "secret-tellers", and I feel completely uncomfortable around them. Information is like a "virus" to this family, it spreads like you wouldn't believe it!! And the "worse" it is, the "better" they feel. It makes me cringe! They all talk about each other, make fun of the people who have it worse, and hold onto it like an infant grasping a finger. It's just stomach-turning. I can't tell his mom or dad anything, w/o them telling everyone else. What ever happened to "immediate" family ONLY? I don't get it. And I know I'm just ranting and raving, and you probably think it's not that bad? Well, too me, this is not something I can put up for much longer. I'm kind of looking forward to moving out of state when we both finish school! I also don't want my children around this kind of behavior, whenever I decide to have them. I don't usually complain like this, but it's soooo annoying and I just had to get it off my chest.. Sorry for the long post.
4home Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Hi, loyalfriend I can totally relate with what you are experiencing!!! I wish I was your age and comprehending what you have then I wouldn't have had to live thru so many years of toxic mental abuse from my husbands family. I have been thru the same thing sitting around with his family listening to them talking about everybody else in the family making their own presumptions. You can't say one thing without the whole extended family being told no matter how mundane it is. And don't you dare tell them what their doing is wrong!!! And their lives are so pitiful that they have nothing better to do than sit around having a pow wow on what new vicious thing they can do to mess with your life because they don't have one!!! They are called negative toxic people and you need to stay away from them at all costs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They will not change! Believe me I have waited many years for them to change and it hasn't happened it is worse. And what really is disgusting is that they profess to be conservative christians with tons of religious home decor in their homes and it just makes me sick because they don't live it. They talk the talk but don't walk the walk!!! My Husband,I ,and our grown children are still now paying the price even more than years earlier by not staying away from them. The quotes you sometimes hear like: Family is everything, Blood is thicker than water, Only family will stand with you, Your nothing without family is all a bunch of %$$$^U**&$#$ blankety blank!!! I'm going to stop here or I will write a book because thats how much garbage I've had to live thru. Make sure your husband to be is strong enough to live far enough away from his family not to see them maybe two days out of five years MAYBE!!!
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