Crestfallen_KH Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Ok, so my STBX loves horror movies and Halloween, but I didn't think today was going to be hard at all. But it is. I feel so incredibly depressed. Maybe because this is the first holiday we've been apart? But it's just Halloween, and we don't even have kids. I thought I'd breeze through this one, and would maybe get sad around Thanksgiving or Christmas... But I picture him and his girlfriend handing out candy tonight. Despite the fact that I have a party to go to, and they probably don't since they've isolated themselves so much, I should feel happy and strong. But I feel like crap. I couldn't even go into work today to enjoy the festivities. I don't want to be around happy people or have any fun right now. I'm even too depressed to eat the peanut butter cups in the bowl I plan to hand out (alone ) tonight. That's some serious depression....
latefragment Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 hey I am the same way. Halloween is my favorite holiday and while I don't have heartwarming memories with any significant exes, last year's halloween left me with a sad, lonely feeling (as did my birthday, etc.). halloween 2005 was especially memorable because a guy I was dating at the time invited me to his party, flirted with me AT said party, BUT neglected to inform me that his new fling/interest was there. So of course, I found out, and, suffice it to say, it was a bit of a surprise. (even his roommates had no clue he was seeing someone new). not the best thing to find out at 6 am when you're in your costume and totally feeling ill from having a bit of alcohol (I only had 2 drinks that night but for some reason got really ill anyway). halloween 2006 was uneventful - i was single as well, and going to parties, but I came home from the work party feeling especially low. Maybe it was because I felt like I was "forced" to dress up and celebrate at work for no reason... and then to come home after work to an empty apartment. this year I am lucky. I am still single of course, but was invited to a number of parties I had to MISS because I was actually involved with an art project and it took all day saturday. I was too tired to go out afterwards (literally took ALL DAY). tonight I may go out. or not - and i'm happy that either outcome would be fine with me. i'm glad that you are going out tonight. I'm sorry that you are thinking of your stbx and his partner. YUCK. Please try to forget about it for tonight and have fun. I know how it feels. If I were you I'd feel the same exact way.
Author Crestfallen_KH Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 Yeah, I think it's the "first holiday" thing. I didn't expect that Halloween would matter, but apparently it hit me. Probably because the divorce paperwork is underway too. I'm feeling better now, and am looking forward to the party tonight. I wasn't going to dress up, but now I think I'm going to go all out and just go and have a good time (but not drink too much)!
heartoutside Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Go to your party....there's no reason to sit at home and not enjoy halloween. You're letting him win and control you even more! My ex and I always loved halloween, and that's actually how I caught her attention years ago. In the past few years, I haven't really given much effort in my halloween costume, but this year, I went all out, and went to a party that my ex came to with her new BF. It sucked, but I did it, and my costume was awesome and i won best costume! Enjoy it!!!!! You can, you deserve to...
latefragment Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 ... what was your costume? i've done everything from cowgirl to pirate to "assassin" to bunny...
sao2 Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Halloween is my ex's favorite holiday so I got a little struck today as well. I imagine her dressing up and maybe going out to a party or something. It makes me miss her a bit. But tomorrow is a new day
funkybassplayer Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 i was dredding it as this time last year i was out with her 3 kids and playing with her and stuff. But im fine, been in on my own at home, but have been really quite chilled. I wonder if they are missing me. I guess she would have thought back, but in a good way, as i have. MAybe soon it may be a good time to be friends. Id like that very much.
Author Crestfallen_KH Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 You're exactly right. The "1st" of every month is a big deal too. Every time it's "the 1st," I know that's another month I've made it. That's another month that I can look back and say "Wow, look how far I've come since Sept.1, Oct. 1, etc. I'm not nearly as big of a wreck as I was then!" So yes, tomorrow is another day, and another one that I am really looking forward to.
Rayofsunshine Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 I hear ya about Halloween. Both Halloween and Christmas were big with my ex and I. We loved to decorate the house on both holidays. It is hard to think that he is there in the house giving out candy and having a good time. I did my best this year with decorating but I didn't go all out with the fog machines and strobe lights like we used to. It was too difficult and I just really wasn't into it. Boy you would think after 4 months that these little things wouldn't affect you so much but they do. I hope Christmas won't be like this but I'm sure it will be, which is really going to suck, but I'll deal with that when that time rolls around.
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