Turtlelover28 Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 I have known this person since the beginning of Oct. I didnt want to get emotionally involved with him cause he said he wasnt looking to fall in love with anyone, i usually spend either friday or sat with him since hes to busy during the week, he stopped calling me do to something i said, which he said made him feel like he was nothing to me,also made him feel as if he was just another person i was sleeping with, which i didnt understand that cause i thought it was just a sex thing with him. Well friday he called me, drunk off his high horse, he asked me to come to his house to see him, as i didnt want any sex i said ok just to see him, he then asked if i can pick him up and take him home, i offered i didnt want him to get hurt, while driving he asked me if i missed him, i played like i could of cared less if i seen him or not, but i really did miss him. We get to the house hes all in my face trying to get a kiss from me, i told him i dont want to kiss him, he said to stop fronting, he said he missed me and he likes me, we clicked so well from day one he said, we were laying in bed and told me i need to let my guard down and to stop pushing him away. I need to give him a chance. On Sunday i called him, i wanted him to meet me somewhere so i can get somethings off my chest. He said what do i have to say is it good or bad, i said meet me and you will find out, well he met me and i told him that i like him, but i dont want to get emotionally attached, I asked him why did he call me on friday, he said he considers me a friend, So we were talking somemore and he said i dont know where we go from here. He said he would call me later after he gets home from his mothers house, I said why, am i going to used for a sunday screw now also. He said stop acting up and hes going to have to adjust me, i said i dont need adjusting, so every since sunday he hasnt called me back like he said he was going to and hasnt called till this day, so what i guess i am wanting to know is am i just being used for a sexual thing, or is he wanting more than just a sexual thing with me, hes never told me he liked in before, but i think the liquor helped him express how he felt about me. But if he wanted more from me why hasnt he called me since sunday? If he didnt care how i felt why would he meet me? What does he want?
peace_pipe Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 I have known this person since the beginning of Oct. I didnt want to get emotionally involved with him cause he said he wasnt looking to fall in love with anyone, i usually spend either friday or sat with him since hes to busy during the week, he stopped calling me do to something i said, which he said made him feel like he was nothing to me,also made him feel as if he was just another person i was sleeping with, which i didnt understand that cause i thought it was just a sex thing with him. Well friday he called me, drunk off his high horse, he asked me to come to his house to see him, as i didnt want any sex i said ok just to see him, he then asked if i can pick him up and take him home, i offered i didnt want him to get hurt, while driving he asked me if i missed him, i played like i could of cared less if i seen him or not, but i really did miss him. We get to the house hes all in my face trying to get a kiss from me, i told him i dont want to kiss him, he said to stop fronting, he said he missed me and he likes me, we clicked so well from day one he said, we were laying in bed and told me i need to let my guard down and to stop pushing him away. I need to give him a chance. On Sunday i called him, i wanted him to meet me somewhere so i can get somethings off my chest. He said what do i have to say is it good or bad, i said meet me and you will find out, well he met me and i told him that i like him, but i dont want to get emotionally attached, I asked him why did he call me on friday, he said he considers me a friend, So we were talking somemore and he said i dont know where we go from here. He said he would call me later after he gets home from his mothers house, I said why, am i going to used for a sunday screw now also. He said stop acting up and hes going to have to adjust me, i said i dont need adjusting, so every since sunday he hasnt called me back like he said he was going to and hasnt called till this day, so what i guess i am wanting to know is am i just being used for a sexual thing, or is he wanting more than just a sexual thing with me, hes never told me he liked in before, but i think the liquor helped him express how he felt about me. But if he wanted more from me why hasnt he called me since sunday? If he didnt care how i felt why would he meet me? What does he want? Puke.... Problem: "You like him, but don't want to get emotionally attached." Solution: Leave him alone!! Go find someone whom you want to be attached to. Your way: Have your cake and eat it too. It's easy!!!
Kamille Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 Yeah I have to say that the same sentence jumped out at me, and as I am guilty of uttering it in the past, I will have to call you on it Turtle. i told him that i like him, but i dont want to get emotionally attached No honey, you do want to get emotionnally attached, but you're feeling too vulnerable to say so for whatever reason, whether it be because you know (or assume) he's not ready for emotional attachment or because you are afraid to appear emotionnally needy. I think a lot of women in their 20s assume that men are deathly afraid of commitment, and find themselves uttering non-sensical sentences such as what you just said in order to appear independant. Men are not afraid of commitment, they're afraid of commitment to women who are emotionnally unstable. A sentence such as the one you told him kind of points towards the 'emotional issues' category. How is he supposed to figure out where he stands with you? There is a difference between being emotionnally needy and being responsible for your own emotions. Being responsible for your own emotions allows you to ask for what you want in a clear and precise way. A guy once told me he liked me but wasn't ready for an emotional attachment and I dropped him. I felt he either wanted me to be the strong one and take his emotions in charge (and then I would end up being the emotional carer in the relationship), or he wanted to play me. Either you want emotional attachment and are ready and confident enough to ask for it (and if he declines you've just spared yourself months of drawn out wonderment as to whether or not he will commit to you) or you don't want an emotional attachment and are ready to enter a casual FWB type of arrangement. Anything in-between only leads to more heartache.
peace_pipe Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 A guy once told me he liked me but wasn't ready for an emotional attachment and I dropped him. Perfect. When a woman says this to me, the next thing she sees are tumbleweeds and dust along with the music from pale rider...
Kamille Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 Perfect. When a woman says this to me, the next thing she sees are tumbleweeds and dust along with the music from pale rider... Yeah, I think most people who feel ready for a healthy loving relationship in their life try their best to avoid drama.
jcster Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 You've only known this guy a month! You both should still be figuring out what you want from this relationship. It sounds like he's into you....but it also sounds like you are jerking him around. If you want to keep this relationship, you're going to have to take a chance of getting hurt. Otherwise, you're going to drive him away with the whole "I don't want to get close to you...why are you ignoring me?!" freakshow.
peace_pipe Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 You've only known this guy a month! You both should still be figuring out what you want from this relationship. It sounds like he's into you....but it also sounds like you are jerking him around. If you want to keep this relationship, you're going to have to take a chance of getting hurt. Otherwise, you're going to drive him away with the whole "I don't want to get close to you...why are you ignoring me?!" freakshow. OMG we agree on something. What you are doing to this guy is the same thing that the last 2 women I dated did to me. I quickly tired of it....NEXT!
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