Krytie TV Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 So there's someone that works the shift before me at the night site that I work at. We have known each other for a while and I've always gotten a good vibe from her. So last week, I mention to her that I was taking my dog to the park that weekend and said we would love it if she'd like to join us. She seemed receptive but said that she might have a function to attend. I told her fine, just let me know by Thursday night if you want to come (It was Monday), but she insisted on getting my number and said she would call me. So I let it go and on Thursday, the last night we work together in the week, she brought up (unprompted) that she still didn't know about Saturday, but would give me a call. So, as everyone reading this has already guessed, no call. Nothing. I saw her again yesterday for the first time since and was curious if she would mention it but she didn't... so I didn't. However, we are still hitting it off well (unclear if it's because she's into me or she's just a genuinely nice person, some people can be hard to read). So my instinct is to chalk it up for a failed attempt and just go on my way without another attempt. In the past I allowed myself to be manipulated by some women and I know that plays a factor. Am I being too passive by shutting down after one blow off or should I go forth feeling justified in my decision... allowing her to make the next move if she so wishes?
Cobra_X30 Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 So my instinct is to chalk it up for a failed attempt and just go on my way without another attempt. In the past I allowed myself to be manipulated by some women and I know that plays a factor. Am I being too passive by shutting down after one blow off or should I go forth feeling justified in my decision... allowing her to make the next move if she so wishes? If our places were switched, I would not invite her to anything that takes a ton of planning ahead. She is in that middle ground place, and your dangerously close to the friendzone. You need to hit her with something like, So, I am going to _____ right after work. I think it would be fun if you went with me, cause it would be embarrassing to just sit there alone. I mean just hang it out there. Whats the worst she can do? Blow you off.... she already did that. At least this way you get a better idea of what she is thinking!
Author Krytie TV Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 You need to hit her with something like, So, I am going to _____ right after work. I think it would be fun if you went with me, cause it would be embarrassing to just sit there alone. But we work different shifts. I start when she leaves. So you would try again after the blowoff?
Cobra_X30 Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 But we work different shifts. I start when she leaves. So you would try again after the blowoff? Oof, I thought that she started when you got off. That flips things around and makes it difficult. You need to push something spontaneous on her! And yes I would try again. Never fear a little rejection. Women respect persistence and the confidence to get shot down. Make sure she knows your not going to settle for the gay male friend role. The scheduling thing sucks. You said that changes soon?
latefragment Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 I would wait one more week and try one more time. If she still shoots you down then let it go. You have nothing to lose. If you ask nicely and she says no nicely, then it won't be awkward at all.
tanbark813 Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Well, giving you a maybe because she has something she might attend isn't a good sign, especially since you were still Plan B on Thursday. But on the other hand, I generally think it's better to ask a girl out for something specific than say you'll be doing X and want her to join you. If you do ask her out again, I would make it something specific. No harm in trying.
heidiQ Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Well, if you're looking for a girl's perspective I would say she's just not that into you. If a guy I was really into invited me I would make sure to call him when I said I was going to, and if for some reason I didn't I would at least apologize for not calling the next time I saw him. It's up to you whether you want to face rejection again, but if a girl's really into you she'll say yes the first time. There is a possibility that she is a game player, but you really don't want to deal with that!
jcster Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 You should try one more time, but this time...call her.
Author Krytie TV Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 Well, if you're looking for a girl's perspective I would say she's just not that into you. If a guy I was really into invited me I would make sure to call him when I said I was going to, and if for some reason I didn't I would at least apologize for not calling the next time I saw him. That was the guiding thought in deciding to just give it up. It was actually a girlfriend of mine that suggested giving it one more try even though I was skeptical. Maybe I'll try again. I'll just wait and see if I feel like it at a later time. I have no problem giving someone 1 free pass, even though I'm hesitant to even bother.
shadowplay Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 You need to push something spontaneous on her! And yes I would try again. Never fear a little rejection. Women respect persistence and the confidence to get shot down. Make sure she knows your not going to settle for the gay male friend role. I very much agree.
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