Author puzzled Posted November 2, 2007 Author Posted November 2, 2007 Just hearing that hurts MY heart. I can only imagine what that must feel like for you. Is that all your worth to her? I wish I knew. Perhaps I am totally wrong. She, of course, would say that I am totally wrong. She told me once that I was the kindest, gentlest man that she had ever know. Of course that doesn't seem to be what women want. Right after we got married she went to bed early and left her yahoo email open. I wasn't spying her at that time, however I did read her email. One of the emails in her Sent account was to her daughter and she said that she had known for several months that she was going to be laid off at her job and that she had been really worried about it, but now she didn't have to worry anymore because she had married me. Reading that certainly didn't make me feel good. The job she has now makes only 60% of what she was making before.
Darth Vader Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 Here's my thinking: In my state you don't need a reason to get a divorce. However, in my mind I do. I hesitate to say to my W 'I'm divorcing you because you've been emailing another man and you met him twice for drinks'. Her response would be 'He's just a friend -- you're being sooo unfair'. She would then beg and plead with me to change my mind. I have a weak personality and she has a very strong personality, so I'd probably give in. Then I would live the rest of my life being suspicious. Every time she told me she was going to the mall after work I would wonder if she was meeting him. On the other hand, if I knew that she had sex with him I would have no hesitation saying 'I'm divorcing you because you had sex with another man.' Even back in the old days adultery was grounds for divorce. Does this make sense, or is my thinking completely flawed? Screw her personality! Divorce the witch! She's BANGING the OM for sure!
Darth Vader Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 Yes, I'm afraid of what she might say. I'm afraid that she might say that he's just a friend and that there's nothing going on. And unfortunately I have a problem of giving people the benefit of the doubt when nobody else would. I would be 95% sure that she was lying, yet I would have that 5% doubt. I would be a wimp and say OK, then I would go on feeling the same way that I do now. Here's what I believe the truth is. She's been in love with him for many years (way before she met me). She had an affair with him while she was married to her prior husband (it could have been during a period when they were separated). When she got divorced he was married, so she married me. Then he got divorced, but she wasn't available since she was married to me. So he got married again. He won't divorce his current wife because of financial issues. She thinks what she did before we got married is none of my business. And she's absolutely right, except when it affects our present lives. Stop being a wimp, then. Divorce her
Mr. Lucky Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 I need for her to voluntarily break off all contact without my saying anything to her. And I need Jessica Alba to call me this weekend to see if I'm available. Which one of us has a greater chance of success ? Your wife would not be continuing to contact the OM unless, as long as it's a secret, she gets something out of it. Attention? Sex? The next Mr. Right? Who knows... What leverage do you have except the threat of dragging this out into the open and exposing it for the cheating deception that it is? Mr. Lucky
Recommended Posts