KittenMoon Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 I have to say- this might be a perfectly healthy thing! I mean, he's prob looked at some porn in his time, and to see his mother look at it, not to mention at something not just "vanilla" may show him that everyone, even MOM, has sexual appetites. And not just standard missionary type urges either- if he's had, or ends up having, any kinda of "kinky" fantasy, it might be comforting to know he's not the only one- even moms can like kink!
dolcevoce Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Wow….you need to put a lock on your door, and use it! I would think that most 15 yr. olds don’t want to know the details of their parents’ sex lives, so after you open the discussion, let him ask the questions. I agree that your husband needs to know and have input, and that you don’t get too specific about the type of porn unless your son asks. Don’t lie, but remember that grown ups are entitled to some privacy. You do want your son to be able to talk to you or your husband about porn and that sexual curiosity is a healthy thing. If your son is looking at porn, and he will, you’ll want to know about it. That being said, remember that porn can be addictive and you don’t want a $20k credit card bill because Mom does it too. Be upfront about your expectations regarding his internet use.
cokeexhibit Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 He's 15. He will get over it. Its done and over with. Oh well so , he saw you watching porn, do you honestly think he doesnt know things already..Your probably listed as a cool parent now. After he has gone and told his buddies what you were doing. Who knows you might have opened up a door with your son allowing him to discuss sex etc...more openly with you.
Lovegod Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Nice try, but no... He has his own computer and never use ours. Then he's probably already been looking at pr0n himself. There's no point in talking to him. He would probably feel just as 5hitty if you caught him looking at pr0n. Just forget about it and move on with your life. BTW, if you haven't had the sex talk with him by now, he's probably already learned about it from other sources. I know I did when I was 15. If you inform them when they don't know much, they'll learn from you. If you inform them when they're already knowledgeable, you'll embarass them.
cokeexhibit Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Tis true. probably cant wait to get home and check out the history on the computer so he can really check out the site himself. He's 15. And has a computer in his room. Yup he has looked at porn. And nudey mags.I'm sure has even used it for more than looking
T - mac Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 I know you’re right about talking with him... That must be the right thing to do, but how do you approach this – I simply can’t find anything, even close to appropriate, in this situation. You can’t just tell a 15 yo ‘honey, mommy likes to be spanked in bed’ Somehow it sounds like it can make more damage that good. ok well maybe some input from someone that may be able to relate to your son would help... ok well i just turned 16 a couple weeks ago and, my mom doesnt look at porn or anything like that, but if i saw her doing it, and she talked to me about it, it wouldnt really be awkward at all, i really wouldnt care if she said "mommy likes to be spanked in bed..." lol. i think most 15 year old boys realize that even parents have sexual needs, and that that is pretty much natural. so i really think that you should talk to him about it. at 15, he should be quite mature enough to handle a talk like that.
Lizzie60 Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 My son caught me looking at a kinky porn site! He was shocked, but hasn't mantioned it since. I'm so upset. What do I do now? Any ideas? Anyone? No panic. I read a bit of posts since I wanted to know how old he was...etc. he's 15, BUT he's old enough to get a 'wrong impression' which is worst than if it was a younger child... a young child is too young to understand what's really going on... but at 15... you KNOW what is going on... You have to talk to him as soon as possible... just sit down with him and tell him that you were curious about Internet porn...you wanted to make your own idea about what you hear on the news, etc... about the porn on the net... keep it simple.. do not start on the 'never ending' sermon... just keep it short and sweet... smile and reassure him that you found it rather uncomfortable... He will feel that you treat him like an adult.. and you might learn from him as well... just be honest, straightforward and simple... best way to deal with teens.
NocturnalRaids Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 Man that must of been akward.........lol:lmao: I think he will keep to himself and not bother you much after this event. It's not like he is traumatized..............though it may have disturbed him or shocked him. He might be confused by it. I don't think he will brag about it or dare tell any of his friends. I think it will be easier if your husband has a father and son talk about it. Though maybe kinda akward revealing you twos sexuality somewhat. I think he'll will respect that. I'm sure he has viewed porn before, if he hasn't he is a good kid.
Lovegod Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 I'm sure he has viewed porn before, if he hasn't he is a good kid. If he hasn't, he's probably gay. It's perfectly normal for a male teenager with a testosterone overload to go and search for pictures (or videos) of nude women. There's also the chance that he's already seen the real thing and lost his virginity. People look at pr0n. You've only humanized yourself by your boy catching you looking at it. He won't think any less of you for it, he'll just realize that his parents are human too. The only reason you're wanting to talk to him about it is to make yourself feel less 5hitty. I highly doubt this has had the horrible impact on him that you're imagining. I opened the bathroom door on a co-worker who was taking a dump. He had forgotten to lock the door. We didn't sit down and discuss how natural it is to have a bowel movement. We put the situation past us and continued on with our lives.
Author new_stella Posted November 1, 2007 Author Posted November 1, 2007 Still haven’t had a chance to do ‘the talk’. We have relatives visiting for a few days – great timing I know, but nothing I can do about it. Not a moment alone. T - mac, your input is invaluable. So you believe I should talk about it? Not just let it go? The more I postpone it, the less determined I become to bring it up again. I admit, it would be so much easier for me to just forget about it.
T - mac Posted November 1, 2007 Posted November 1, 2007 Still haven’t had a chance to do ‘the talk’. We have relatives visiting for a few days – great timing I know, but nothing I can do about it. Not a moment alone. T - mac, your input is invaluable. So you believe I should talk about it? Not just let it go? The more I postpone it, the less determined I become to bring it up again. I admit, it would be so much easier for me to just forget about it. well, i guess it all depends, i mean for me, if i saw my mother watching porn it wouldn't really bother me, and yes i guess it would just make me realize that our parents are human too. but everyone is different and he may be a little more shocked than me. so i guess a talk isn't exactly necessary, as long as you think that he is not confused or traumatized over it haha. although a little awkward (depending on the kind of relationship you have with your son), a talk could help him actually feel less awkward about what happened. so I'd say its up to you, because you know your better than i do, so if you think it would make you and/or him feel better then go for it, but if you don't really think its necessary then theres not really any reason for it. Okay well i hope that helped.
Author new_stella Posted November 2, 2007 Author Posted November 2, 2007 well, i guess it all depends, i mean for me, if i saw my mother watching porn it wouldn't really bother me, and yes i guess it would just make me realize that our parents are human too. but everyone is different and he may be a little more shocked than me. so i guess a talk isn't exactly necessary, as long as you think that he is not confused or traumatized over it haha. although a little awkward (depending on the kind of relationship you have with your son), a talk could help him actually feel less awkward about what happened. so I'd say its up to you, because you know your better than i do, so if you think it would make you and/or him feel better then go for it, but if you don't really think its necessary then theres not really any reason for it. Okay well i hope that helped. Thanks T - mac! I did help.
wizer Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 Ask your son if he can help you with a virus problem that causes random porn sites to pop up on your computer. Or tell him that someone sent you an email as a joke, and it had a link to a porno site, which you happen to have clicked on unknowningly, just as he walked into the room. I like the first one better, because the odds are fairly slim that you would have clicked the link just as he walked into the room.
canadianclub Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Let me just say as a matter of record: If I had caught my mom watching porn of any kind when I was 15 (three years ago), I would first be like "Oh my God, this is incredibly awkward!" Then, I would be like, "Well, better her getting caught than me". And then I would hope that we wouldn't discuss it again. If you were dealing with a prepubescent child, I think it would be different, but by 15 he knows what's going on and probably wouldn't gain anymore from an embarrassing discussion than you would. Anyway, best of luck with your chosen course of action.
JosieMcCoy Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Ask your son if he can help you with a virus problem that causes random porn sites to pop up on your computer. Or tell him that someone sent you an email as a joke, and it had a link to a porno site, which you happen to have clicked on unknowningly, just as he walked into the room. I like the first one better, because the odds are fairly slim that you would have clicked the link just as he walked into the room. I actually had a virus like that!!! Ugh! Was a hassle getting it off!
Timberlane Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 There's no reason to worry about anything. He just left because he realized it was private stuff. No doubt he too is looking at porn on his own time. By that age, you can bet I sure was. But we didn't have the Internet back then. We had to walk 5 miles to go get our porn! And we LIKED it.
boshemia Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 Your son is fifteen, and by that age his hormones are in full swing. I actually caught my daughter masturbating awhile back, and man it messed with me bad. I went thorugh this huge "oh my god she has a sex drive too" phase. It was uncomfortable for sure. The first few attempts at conversation were something along the lines of "Umm, yeah, errr... soo... well, if you want to talk about, you know, what happened, then..." Just like you I didn't know what to say to her about it, but when we finally did talk it wasn't as bad as I thought. I made sure she knew that it was normal and natural, and there was nothing wrong with it. We joke about it a lot now, and it turned out to be one of those things that didn't kill us, but made our relationship that much stronger. You have nothing to be ashamed of, your sexuality is normal and natural for you. Kids run into this sort of thing a lot. Usually it's catching Mom and Dad in the act... You know your son better than any of us do. You know how comfortable he is with talking about sex and sexuality. He is going to get his attitude about these things from you, how you handle things like this will determine how comfortable he is with his own sexuality. Chances are he didn't see what you thought he saw. At least it didn't register with him like it did with you. It's probably not a matter of Mommy being kinky but more a matter of "oh my god she has a sex drive too!" After he gets his mind wrapped around that, there probably isn't much room for much else. I know that's about all I can handle as far as my Mom even now.
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