the_otherhalf Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 I'm starting to really like this guy after my long break from the dating scene, and now I feel like I don't even know what to do with myself. I don't understand his actions at all. We've been hanging out quite a bit lately, usually just the two of us, out to dinner, etc. Each time we've gone out, he has paid for me. We've been flirty, but we've only held hands and kissed (once) after drinking. It's been drilled in my head now that if he doesn't come after me then I should be moving on with my life. I'm ready for something definitive from him, but he's only been giving me a question mark. I've been justifying my like of him because we still see other quite a bit, tonight he came over to cook dinner, which was nice, and it's just things like that that I can't simply dismiss. I've never been brave about this kind of stuff, but something in me is just burning with this intensity to let him know that I like him (although I think it should be pretty obvious by now). Is there a way to go about doing it without just randomly interjecting it into conversation? Is an e-mail too lame? Is this something I should even be telling him? It's weird because he's not a shy person at all, but maybe he is when it comes to dating. The first time we hung out, he asked me over Facebook, even though I had just seen him a few hours before. Is there another girl in the picture for him? What's the disconnect? Should I make the first move? I don't know if I could handle the rejection...
Jack Africa Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 It's been drilled in my head now that if he doesn't come after me then I should be moving on with my life. I'm ready for something definitive from him, but he's only been giving me a question mark. Should I make the first move? I don't know if I could handle the rejection... He likes you - Yes you should make the first move - why not ?
Krytie TV Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Should I make the first move? I don't know if I could handle the rejection... Hmm... what do you suppose he's thinking?
popey Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 fighting the fear of rejection is very liberating, and when you think about it its not that big a deal. yes, wanting someone who doesn't want you back is hurtful, but don't you already know that there are some people out there who wouldn't want you? this is true for all people. so go for it. There's a host of possibilities that could come from it, the worst being rejection. But you already know, if you think about it, that rejection is a certainty if you went for everything. So why fear it. you could die tomorow, missing out on a posibility. get a few drinks in you, and tell him.
Author the_otherhalf Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 Do you have any suggestions about how to say something?
spookie Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 What about, instead of explicitly stating that you like him, being more flirty to test his reaction? Hoenstly it sounds like he's into you and that you're dating... all you need to do is break the physical barrier. Some guys are shy about that, especialy if YOU'VE been sending out mixed signals. So next time you're cooking together or hanging out or whatever, how about being a little physical with him? Playfully hit him or whatever, touch his hand. Create some sexual tension, and then be open with your body language so he knows to go for it. That's what I would do.
Timberlane Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 I like those ideas, spookie. If say I was taking things very slow myself due to being a bit guarded, I would respond to that sort of flirting. You might also compliment things you like about him physically, like say that he has nice arms while you run your fingers down them. That's about as clear a signal as you can give without having to spell it out. And if he isn't responding, well, he still has nice arms. Ha.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 The above posters are right. However, try this. When you are cooking (great opportunity) or out with him, feel the need to go around him (from behind) and as you slowly move around have your hands gently touch his hips, at the same time, just below his natural waist. Have no other part of your body touch him. It's a subtle approach (maybe too subtle), but most people, men and women love this. It's the spontenaety and the area in which you are touching. Let us know how things go. P.S. He is very into you. Why would you ask about another girl? Do you discuss that stuff?
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