bubbabrusky Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 my wife asked for a separation about two weeks ago. she wants a legal separation so she can file for devorce in one year. i messed up repeatedly for the last four years. i have never been physically abusive to her or our children, but i have been emotionally neglectful. i have never cheated on her. she has told me that i was hurting her and that i was loosing her. it's not that i didn't believe her that i was loosing her, it's just very difficult to explain... i kept repeating "the same mistakes". i'm sure you've heard it before. i never wanted to hurt her, it just happened that way. now here's where it gets more complicated: due to our financial situation, neither she nor i am able to move out. i want to give her what she needs, but i can not give her 100% space. i go to work in the morning before she gets up. she is a stay at home mom, part time student taking one class a week and has a seasonal job where she works no more than 15hrs/wk. when i get home from work, there is interaction. when she gets home from work or school in the evening, there is interaction. i feel that this may drive her away even more. all the time i see her and talk to her she mentions the looming devorce and how we need to get the ball rolling on the legal separation. to this date, neither of us has called a lawer or a court mediator to get the separation papers started. this is killing me actually hearing her talk about it all and it is very difficult for me to "be strong" and not break down in front of her, which i understand is not helping our situation. most weekends, she stays the night at a friend's house. it is difficult for me to cope with this and have made the mistake about giving her a hard time about it. because her friend is male and they have admitted in the past to having feelings for eachother. coinsidently the same time she asked for the separation. she has been very adiment about his "friendship" and how she only goes to him for "support". i understand that our problems are ours and not his. they are mine to fix. it's just hard when they have feelings for eachother and she is sleeping at his house. how do i give her space? i love my wife with all my heart and want her to be happy. i am going to therapy sessions once a week and am trying to actually change this time, instead of actually talking about changing. i want her to see me change and know that i will not go back to my old ways. i would love to have her as my wife for the rest of my life, like i promised her on our wedding day. any advice?
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