Amy12345678 Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 I've been a this party and my ex was there but not my current boyfriend, and we were talking and he'd been drinking and was a bit depressed becasue he blew his chance with the girl he's in love with like 9 months ago. I just wanted to hold him and tell him it would be okay, but well, i'm not sure that it will ever be okay, i still love him, i can't get over him, so how can i tell him it'll be okay, when it's really not been okay for me, i've loved him for the last 3 years and althoug i've done my best to get over him i still can't shake those old feelings. i do love the guy i'm with now, my problem is that i feel my ex should mean no more to me than any other one of my friends, but he does....
Author Amy12345678 Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 Oh and when I said goodbye tonight he hugged me and he said "Wow, you meant that didn't you, there was none of this pretending to hug, you actually meant it" he doesn't know i still have feelings for him, he just thinks we're friends that haven't seen each other in a while apart from we've seen a fair bit of each other this last month, I almost wish I could tell him how amazing he is, he really is great. Oh I need help.
jerbear Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Sounds like you are relapsing, really like him and not really really over him. If that is true then it maybe time to ditch your current bf and pursue him, focus on your current or just be alone to get over both. Just not fair to your current relationship.
Author Amy12345678 Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 TO be prefectly honest, there's no point pursuing my ex, I know only too well how that would go, but I also can't cut him out. we share alot of the same friends who they are more mine than his now seeing as he goes to a different 6th form but he says that i'm the best friend he has from there and that without me he'd never see any of us, He also saidthat the last month has been one of the best us the last year simply becasue he was hanging around with us again, if i stop talking to him or seeing him i'll take that away from him. i don't want to hurt him. the people where he goes now will be friends with the girl he loves over him and so he has no-one there he can talk to. I'm the one he talks to, I'm the ones he crys to, but I'm not sure how much longer I can stand that. I want to be with my current bf, we have been together 2 years now, and we have been very happy, I mean everyone has their ups and downs, but on the whole i've been emensely happy with him, i don't want to throw that away, i can see us being so happy in the future for, well, ever. but i care about my ex and i want to be there for him as friend but just as a friend, but i don't seem to be able to do that. (btw, my ex was the first person i ever loved)
jerbear Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 One never forgets their first love. Sounds like you may have a deep platonic friendship. It is a new relationship with your ex.
Author Amy12345678 Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 We've always had a very strong and deep friendship, always, through-out everything. I don't know them so very, very well, the other night we were round at his with a couple of friends and we were just catching up, but instead of speaking in full sentences we just started a sencent and the other could fich it in their head and so would reply with a couple of words that meant nothing to anyone but us, but to us those few words meant what could have taken 5 mins to explain, we just know each other so well, and i can't just do the whole no contact thing, i tryed it, it didn't work, we share some of the same friends. If we could be good friends but strictly just friends and i had no feelings for him then that would be ideal, that's really what i want
jerbear Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 In my opinion, it can be done. Just have to have boundaries. Some deep friendships can cause problems. I have a few which caused a few problems within the relationship. i.e. intimacy, friendly sharing of info, advice. The deep friendship may have lots of history behind it that can cause resentment and other issues. Just remember to let your SO know that he was an ex and a very good friend.
jerbear Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 by SO who do you mean? Significant Other. Could be a bf, fiance, husband in your case.
Author Amy12345678 Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 yeah, he does know, he knows i still care about him, but i don't think he quite understands that althoug i still care about him and him being upset does upset me i don't want him back. my SO has been in Germany for the last week and last night i went to my ex's cz he was like, do you want to go for a drink or sumat, it's been a while since i've seen you, i'll come pick you up. but we ended up just going to the offy and sitting in his front room with some beer but it got to like 2am and we'd both had too much to drive and there were no buses so i was like well can i borrow your phone and call a taxi, so he said well yeah but why don't you just stay here, i don't want you to go home yet and you can sleep in the spare room and i'll find you a t-shirt or sumat for you to sleep in. though i insisted on going home as his would not have done down well with my boyfirend i really wanted to stay and i felt like by not being able to i was almost deceving my bf. i know nothing would have happend if i'd stayed, i simply couldn't be bothered to go home, but he insisted go paying for my taxi and making sure i got home safely
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