Crestfallen_KH Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Well, something weird happened today. I unblocked my STBX husband from IM and asked him if he'd faxed over his documents to my divorce attorney. He said he did, and then I found myself asking him how he was doing, if his job had gone perm yet, if he'd sold the truck etc. We actually had a very nice, civil conversation. It was the first "non-relationship" and "non-emotional" conversation we'd had since we separated in early September. Everything he said indicated he and his girlfriend are moving forward together, yet I didn't get upset at all. I said it sounded like they had a good plan, and a good arrangement with regard to their future work plans, and we even swapped movie recommendations. We chatted back and forth for maybe 15 minutes before I said goodbye. He said "Nice talking to you : )" and I said "You too" and then blocked him again. And now? I feel ok. I'm not sad or angry, and am actually happy to know a little bit about what's going on his life and that he seems to be doing ok. It's been weird to not talk to my also ex-best friend. I don't plan to do that again and once the divorce is final, I plan to go strict NC and not contact him again - well, ever, really. I'm also going to ask mutual friends to not even mention him and I'm going to ignore his birthday in December. So, has anyone else ever been in this situation? Is this part of the "Acceptance" stage? Or should I expect this to be temporary?
wowIlose Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Probably coming to terms with reality. It shows how strong you really are by being able to talk to him without being upset, however, don't get to close since those old feelings might creep up and hurt you again.
Author Crestfallen_KH Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 Yeah, that's why I blocked him again. I certainly don't want to keep him unblocked so that he can talk to me whenever he feels like it. It sucks, in a way, that he's always been willing to keep the lines of communication open. I think what I realized today is that, while I no longer want him back romantically or physically, I miss him. I miss my friend. And while I am accepting that he is no longer my husband, no longer loves me, I am still struggling to accept that my friend is gone.
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