niceguy27 Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Its been a little over a week now since her and I went our separate ways. I no longer cry over her but instead I have this constant tightening in my stomach. All the stress from this past year (been a hard one) I think is finally catching up to me. I cant really explain it. I have always handled things very well in the past and have been able to pull out and move on. For the first time in my life I feel lost and empty. I was ready to propose to her later this year and now that she is gone, I dont know where to go. I posted earlier about moving away and starting fresh and I am still considering it but I dont know if that will help me get rid of this feeling. I mean on the outside I act fine with everyone but I am constantly distracted by "what was" and have even started to mix up my schedules. I think Im going crazy. Haha. Anyone have any words of encouragement or feeling this way now? I mean, its been 2 months since our split and I was fine for the first month or so but lately I feel like Ive hit rock bottom.
Spinderella Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 For the first part of that two months you were unsure of whether it was really and truly over or not. So what you are going through is still the early stages of real acceptance. Added to that, it sounds as though you were functioning on adrenaline for alot of that uncertain time, and now that you are in the accepting stage you are noticing the physical symptoms that were there all along, but you didnt notice before. Its good that you are in a calm enough state now to notice your physical symptoms. Try meditating to ease your anxiety, just breathing deeply, and allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel, without thinkng about it.
Surfer Girl Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 You had an adgenda... N/C.... You want to follow that... Figure yourself out. Yet, the rollercoaster ride of emotions is getting the best of you.... You feel bad today... maybe tomorro you will feel better... This is not easy... But know that what you are doing now is for the best... as she is not begging you back.... It takes time..... That dreaded word..
heartoutside Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 It's alright man, you'll have good days and you'll have bad. Since you're in the early stages, I would suggest that you find a good friend that you can spend a lot of time with (if they're up to it). In the first month of my break up, I was total mess and luckly my brother was here to help me through it. It's funny because I just saw my dad this past weekend for the first time since the first month (that was about 3 months ago) and he was telling me how I was basically just a zombie, a shell the last time he saw me. For example, he offered to give me a small business loan so I could start up my business, I basically told him "I don't need your f'n money!" (this was 3 months ago, and I ddin't say those exact words). But what I'm saying is, it will take time....and you've got to let it take time. It's sucks, but it gets better. What I've actually found to work is think of a cool picture of yourself, one that makes you feel good about yourself. Everytime a picture of your ex pops in your head, close your eyes and focus on the "cool" picture of yourself. It works.... Also, google the 5 stages of grief.....that may help a little, help you see where you'll be heading and let you know what you are going through is normal and we are all going through it.. good luck
starlite Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 It is so hard! I know!!!! It sucks! For me...sometimes I'm fine, others I feel this empty feeling and my stomach feels so tense and I know I am not relaxed...but it is over. I find it worse when I know what he is doing. Like tonight, I know his band is playing for Halloween and I know he will be surrounded by half naked girls! Stressful. And yesterday his kinda ex best friend told me that my ex had been hanging out with that girl who he was in the car with in the middle of the night...long story short....I feel jealous. I dont think they are dating or hooking up but who knows. I still question if he cheated on me that night. I hate hearing about him. Most people know not to bring him up...but...
Author niceguy27 Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 I was like that the first month, got better, and now back to square one. Only this time it feels worse than before. Plus all the stress of moving, holidays, etc. makes it seem doubly hard right now and it is harder now to try to pull out of it. If it doesnt go away in a week or so, I am considering going to the doctor to see if there is anything he can do. Ive always been able to handle things but man, this is by far the hardest thing I have dealt with.
LaughMachine Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 I'm sorry your feeling down and out. But It's very normal for you to feel like this. No words of encourgement will actually spead of the healing process for you. But time will, and time is always on our sides. Moving away won't change anything, but taking a vacation could very much help. Things only get worse until they get better because time right now is slowly showing you that you two are really broken up. But after those stages you will bounce back up on your feet.
marty Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 yeah it sucks!! 4 months for me,,, and this past monday i thought i was back to square one again!!!!! Upset at work, missing her like mad,, so so down,,, i dont know what happened. Maybe i was hitting the 'acceptance' stage and didnt realise it. Having someone to talk to is incredibly important!!!! Basically ,, it takes aslong as it takes. Doesnt help, i know, but trust and have faith that its completely normal, and you WILL feel better. Just as nothing good ever lasts,, the same goes for bad. Life is full of peaks and troughs. It will get better!!! Trust me.
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