Lord-Asriel565 Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Hi, my names Dan im 21 years old....me and my girlfriend of 6 years just broke up.... we have a child together which makes things very difficult. About 10 months ago she started talking to this guy and it got really emotional and they really liked eachother. I found out and everything went to hell and she promised shed stop. Well it didnt stop for the whole 10 months...it went off and on with little messages here and there. Now shes broken up with me and said she just needs time out of relationships all together...She says she wants us to be good friends for our 3 year old son and what not....and shed give me a chance in a few months to date........But shes talking to that guy like everyday and hanging out with him here and there. And that hurts.....how am i supposed to be friends with someone if they do things that will really hurt me? thats not friendship is it? its onesided...... i just need some advice on what i should do
alwayshurt Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Tell her to go to hell. She's not worth. You forgave her once already and this is how she repays you. You need to stand up for what you believe and set your boundaries around it. If you let her do that she will never learn and do it over and over again. I know it's hard for you, esp that is also a baby involved. But it is not your problem. It's hers. She' s very immature and confused and if you allow her to do this to you, assuming you will be together again, you can bet that she will always do that and for you it is going to be even more painful. She broke your trust. Let her be and you move on. Save yourself useless pain. That are other people out there worth of your trust and you're so young it won't be hard for you to meet nice and better girls. Good luck.
Saxis Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 I'm in nearly the same situation. We have a 3 year old, and getting divorced. She keeps telling me she misses me, talking to me and wants to be friends. After all her lies, I can't and won't do it. She's the one that wanted the divorce. If she really wants to live her life without me, that is exactly what I'm going to give her. It's hard to do NC with a child involved, which you both need to communicate about. Keeping in contact just prolongs the healing process. Get away as much as you possibly can while still being a part of your child's life!
Author Lord-Asriel565 Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 See...for the first 2 years we had our child....i had a really bad drug problem which i am ashamed of....i didnt help much with the baby(i was constantly going through physical withdrawls from the drugs) and that hurt her alot and made her stressed....and thats when the love sort of fell away. And then thats when all that started....what i posted the first time...See so some of this is my fault.....But im clean now and i really want to try and work things out with her. Ive got a job and im getting my life straight. Its just this friend of hers is trying to get with her too. But she said before she considered going with anyone else she would give me chance when shes ready for a relationship.... SO should i be friends with her now...in a mature and responsible way and try and work things out when shes ready?
Lovegod Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 It doesn't matter who's at fault anymore. Fixing a badly broken down relationship is like trying to fix a house with the roof caving in, a severely cracked foundation, and rotten floorboards. You're better off tearing the damn thing down and building a new house. That's what you should be doing - getting out there and starting anew with relationships of the opposite sex. And no, you don't have to be "friends" with her. Treat her like a business partner. Contact her only when necessary - when your dealing with issues surrounding your child. Other than that, you have a life seperate from her.
Author Lord-Asriel565 Posted October 31, 2007 Author Posted October 31, 2007 so there seems to be no hope here for this to work?
Lovegod Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Why would you want it to work? She was talking to some dude she likes for 10 months while you were together. Not only that, she lied about it. What makes you think that she won't do all this 5hit again? Now shes broken up with me and said she just needs time out of relationships all together...She says she wants us to be good friends for our 3 year old son and what not She wants to have her cake and eat it too. Since you're her friend, she'll get you to babysit your boy while she goes and shags the other dude. And if she decides that this other dude's no good, you'll make a good temp until she finds some other dude to shag. You're letting her have all this on her terms. Give yourself a life! If you continue to wait for her to make up her mind, you're just gonna grow old and die.
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