AlwaysLost Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 So I asked my new beau to join me in going out to dinner with my best friend and her husband when they come to town this week. He said yes and i told him it was bit upscale sushi place, he said cool. But, who should pay? I invited him so I feel I should but I think it might blow his ego a bit, esp. if I do it infront of my friends. How should I handle?
birdie Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 he pays for his and you pay for yours. your friends will pay for theirs as well anyway so you will have to split the bill no matter what
popey Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 you should NOT suggest he pay for his and you pay for yours. you invited him to dinner with your friends; you should pay. If he resists letting you, explain that you invited him so you want to pay. If he still insists on paying, oblige him. thank him, and indicate that you would like to treat him next time then. and let it alone for the night.
Lyssa Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 I would pay for everyone esp your friends since they are coming to town. It's like a treat, you know. Most of the time when we have dinners with friends, either my BF or friend's BF would pay.
Author AlwaysLost Posted October 30, 2007 Author Posted October 30, 2007 Should I talk to him about it before we go, I dont want this to blow up in my face at the table . . . if so, how should I say it to him with out making him feel bad?
Lauriebell82 Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Should I talk to him about it before we go, I dont want this to blow up in my face at the table . . . if so, how should I say it to him with out making him feel bad? I am in this situation a lot. Yes, I think you should talk to him about it ahead of time. Just say that you are treating him, since you invited him out. That is usually what I do when my bf and I go out with my best friend and her husband. My bf will sometimes be real sweet and offer to chip in for it because usually teh bill gets racked up with us buying alcohol. (I don't know if you are of drinking age or not). But yeah just say you are going to treat him, don't get pissed off if he doesn't offer to pay for it though.
birdie Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 why would any of you get into the trouble of having this conversation and being so worried about it? people go out with each other all the time, doesn't matter who organised it. if you always pay for your own then you don't have to count whose turn it is next. this is just a simple night out, no big deal
Lyssa Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Should I talk to him about it before we go, I dont want this to blow up in my face at the table . . . if so, how should I say it to him with out making him feel bad? You can talk to him in advance. If you're both in a relationship, I'm sure you're comfortable enough to talk to him about stuff like this?
Lauriebell82 Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 why would any of you get into the trouble of having this conversation and being so worried about it? people go out with each other all the time, doesn't matter who organised it. if you always pay for your own then you don't have to count whose turn it is next. this is just a simple night out, no big deal Dating shouldn't be like that though. What's the fun of it if you never treat your significant other to anything? You always pay for your own stuff when you are with a friend, not a date.
Lyssa Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Dating shouldn't be like that though. What's the fun of it if you never treat your significant other to anything? You always pay for your own stuff when you are with a friend, not a date. True! I don't mind paying at all but most of the time my BF insists on paying. I usually 'pay' him back when we're alone or buy him something nice to show him that I appreciate it
Sean0775 Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 I wouldn't think most guys would be offended by you offering to pay, though he'll probably try to offer to pay for his or the whole thing (it's a reflex). My ex girlfriend would occasionally grab the check and refuse to let me pay once in a while since I always would 99% of the time. Personally, I just saw my paying for eating out as payment for all the home cooked meals she gave me, but whatever works.
Author AlwaysLost Posted October 30, 2007 Author Posted October 30, 2007 I have picked up a check or 2 and made a few meals at home so that isnt the issue. I jsut didnt want his ego affected, men like to pay and feel that they are providing. I think I will just ask him tonight how he feels about me picking up the check for us on thursday since its my invite with my friends . . . I just think that him meeting my friends for the first time might make him feel that he wants to look good infornt of them by pickingup the check (not having his GF pay) . . . guys am I wrong?
Lyssa Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Or you can pass him some cash in advance and let him take it out when bill arrives.
sweetie7 Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 I agree- I would tell him before hand "just so you know, I'm treating you!!" That way you're not making it awkward at all and just telling him how it's gonna be. Then after dinner, just take out your card. I don't see why he would have a problem with this.
Lauriebell82 Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 I agree- I would tell him before hand "just so you know, I'm treating you!!" That way you're not making it awkward at all and just telling him how it's gonna be. Then after dinner, just take out your card. I don't see why he would have a problem with this. I completely agree. I mean he is your bf so you know him better than we do, but would he get pissed off if you offered to treat him? I know my bf, and most guys don't just refuse to let their gfs treat them once in awhile. Me and my bf always usually say if we are treating the other one before dinner so there is no weird confusion when the bill comes. I don't think your bf should have a problem with this.
troutie jr Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 I would hope my girl wouldn't be so concerned with paying for dinner. I would pay for the both of us. No brainer!
Trimmer Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 I think you're safe to mention beforehand, as a "heads-up," that you invited him to meet your friends, so tonight is your treat. Mention it in passing, with confidence - don't make it a big "we've got to talk" type of deal. As long as that doesn't ruffle his feathers, then use the "Ninja style" payment method (reference here) - making sure your waiter knows it's you who gets the slip to sign at the end - and it all comes off very smoothly... If he has a problem with that, well, then you've learned something new about him...
Cobra_X30 Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 So I asked my new beau to join me in going out to dinner with my best friend and her husband when they come to town this week. He said yes and i told him it was bit upscale sushi place, he said cool. But, who should pay? I invited him so I feel I should but I think it might blow his ego a bit, esp. if I do it infront of my friends. How should I handle? Let him pay for the both of you at dinner... then pay him back for your bill later! That is the best way to do it!
EYECANDY000 Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 well just pull out your c.c to pay and if he says dont be ridiculous i got it. problem solved! My beau and I go through it all the time! ill tell him put your money away I got it this time, u can get it next time
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