euan Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 OK....any help really appreciated everyone. So a girl I was working with start hanging out - which quickly moves onto dating - and then all the great hot and heavy stuff. She had just bought her own apartment but couldn't move in for two months. And she was living with her brother and girlfriend which wasn't an ideal situation so she starts staying over at my place a lot. Everything's GREAT - lots of talks, hanging out together and great sex. A couple of weeks ago she had to go interstate for four days - it was the first time we'd been apart in a couple of months - and when she came back it was all a bit - well - weird. We had to reconnect again - which we did - but then she admits that things had been a bit 'intense' and she had been pulling back from me a bit because deep down she thought I wouldn't see her anymore when she moved into her place (and wanted to protect herself from being hurt). I reassured her this was not the case and since she's moved in - I've stayed over a few times. But to be honest she's still keeping me at arm's length and our phone contact has even minimised. I don't want to appear clingy and needy so I've stopped the 'pursuit' as such and I've put the ball in her court as to when she wants me to stay over. She says everything's OK - she's had immense work pressure, been very sick and then had to get her place unpacked so she's been VERY stressed AND tired...she herself described it as a 'sideways' step - not a step 'backwards'... Now of course I'm feeling VERY anxious that she wants to end all of this. Although she says otherwise (yes I was a WUSS and asked her!!) I can't help but feel there's been a kind of 'shift' in her thinking. I'm handling it by trying to appear cool - still having my own life and going out - still taking her calls but trying not to appear clingy by messaging or calling her too much. So what to do? My irrational brain and ego want to be reaffirmed BIG TIME - but everything I read says this is the worst thing to do - instead - I should still be attractive to her - be a bit mysterious and have her MISS me a bit. Any thoughts most welcome - this is a very special girl to me. Cheers Euan
Mezzi Posted October 31, 2007 Posted October 31, 2007 Hi Euan, I dont think you are a fool. Therefore, if you feel something is wrong then something is wrong. Why did she go away for four days? I think you should leave the ball in her court to an extent but still do some amount of reaching out. Hope everything goes back to normal soon.
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