loquaciousl Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Hi there, I posted a few days ago about my bf and I breaking up. He broke up with me via EMAIL and said that he hadn't been in love for awhile, and that he wasn't "on the same page" as I was. He also said that he couldn't see me as his one. When I asked him later how long he'd been feeling that way, he said since August (we've been dating five months!) At first I was quite upset. Still am. I think that he was a p***y to break up with me via email. When I said that to him, he replied that he didn't want to tell me over the phone. Whatever. We dated for five months, like I said. All was well until we started arguing. Admittedly, at first our arguments were because I had separation anxiety and abandonment issues. When he voiced his frustration with this, I immediately changed; and didn't freak out anymore when we parted ways. A lot of our arguments were because I wanted to talk about us. I know that's annoying to some men, well a lot of them, but I was working on that. Simultaneously, I was having issues with my folks and that put strain on our relationship. His stress had to do with baby mama drama, the fact that he had a lame job (he had since gotten a better one) and that he lived at home. He also smoked a lot of mj and that bugged me a lot. Lately those things had been issues with me. I knew we were having problems, but the difference is that I was willing to work on them. Tonight I get an email from him telling me he was thinking of me, missed me and told me to take care of myself and that I was stronger than I think I am. He also thanked me for being so good to him. I found myself irritated by this email because it's like he wants his cake and eat it too. Also, he said, that he looked forward to being friends again. My gut says he feels bad about what he did. I miss him terribly, but am not willing to sacrifice my pride here...he doesn't get to tell me how strong I am or not. I was in love with him in spite of our problems and I think he led me on, although he says he "put effort" into our relationship and tried.....he said, "Our relationship just took a different turn." I think if he was really in love he would have wanted to try to work our minor differences out before they became major differences. I am so hurt but relieved because I want to be with someone who can fully commit themselves. Thoughts?
ncpd25 Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Loquaciousl, I'm sorry to hear of your ordeal with your man. I went through similar circumstances with my ex g/f. She chose to break up with me via voicemail. The typical- One day she says she's in love with me and doesn't want to lose me and 4 days later, she says, she's confused, doesn't know what she wants etc... I was rather pissed that she couldn't even tell me personally (even on the phone). I would have preferred to be told in person. Obviously I didn't mean that much to her. She said she wanted to meet with me when she arrived home from visiting her parents but, I refused to give her the satisfaction. I ended up sending her an email telling her it was "pretty ruthless and very cold-hearted to break-up by voicemail". I also tld her in the email telling her she was deceitful and dishonest. I told her I had no desire ot speak with her nor see her. She responded by saying "Whether you believe it or not, I do really care for you." She was very apologetic in her voicemail and apologized in the email as well. She said repeatedly that she cared for me. She told me many lies, so I have a difficult time believing that she ever cared for me. I've been NC for the past 6 weeks I think your ex is a coward by emailing you and not even having the decency to speak with you in person. If he's living at home with Mom and Dad and getting stoned all of the time, I would think you are much better off without him. My personal opinion, I wouldn't give him the time of day. If he thinks there's a revolving door where your concerned, tell him he's dead wrong. He doesn't get to dump on you and then come and go as he pleases. Not sure how old he is but, it's time to grow up, sink his teeth into some responsibility and quit being a stoner. You're an attractive woman who appears very genuine. Recover from your ex, take your time and when your ready, move on and find somebody that will return all of the great things you offer in a relationship. Don't settle for a one-sided relationship. I've mentioned this quote before and I think Cali Guy has it at the bottom of his posts. I think it makes so much sense: "Never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option". I'll keep and eye on your post!! Stay Strong!!
Author loquaciousl Posted October 30, 2007 Author Posted October 30, 2007 Sorry to hear about your situation... Yep, I think it was pretty ballless to break up with me that way....but it's weird, I feel a sense of relief and freedom that stems from the fact that I know someone is better for me, somewhere. Hang in there, yourself.
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