CauseICan Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 I need advice, am I going crazy or is something just a little bit off about all this. I’m not an uptight girlfriend. But lately I feel like he is just taking me for granted. It’s not that I mind him hanging with his friends over me. But sometimes I feel like he chooses being with them instead of being with me. For example: Today I thought that we were going to do something together. (we had set that Fridays were going to be the day that we go on a date or to a movie together). And come to find out, he went out with his brother to go shooting. Now, I was fine with this, but it started bothering me, I figured out why. It seems that he is a hypocrite. He says “I miss you, and blah, blah.” But he chooses to go out with his brother when he knows that he can see me. Am I crazy to think that it’s just a little bit odd? Oh, wait, it gets better. He wants to call me later to hang out. Like around 10:00 pm, and he knows I have class tomorrow early. Call me crazy but doesn’t this seem inconsiderate? I find myself thinking ‘yeah forget that I’m not seeing you.’ and this kind of thinking isn’t like me. And now I’m rethinking this whole thing. Argh! What do I do now?
jcster Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 But he chooses to go out with his brother when he knows that he can see me. Am I crazy to think that it’s just a little bit odd? It's his brother! You know...sibling...the one he grew up with...family? It would be odd if he blew his brother off for the odd Friday because it's "your day." When you are in a relationship with someone, the family comes along for the ride. You are going to have to deal with the occasional inconvenience.
oppath Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 It may or may not be inconsiderate. He shouldn't blow off plans for you to hang with his brother, but he is allowed to change plans (in advance) and you should be flexible enough to accomodate it occasionally. As for hanging out late...if he is in college, or if he is busy too...that is not necessarily disrespectful. It is only a problem if that is the norm. On the other hand, it sounds like you want to feel like you are a priority in his life, and that you want quality time with him. Nothing is wrong with those needs, just look at the big picture because the instances you point out do not mean he doesn't consider you that way or want quality time himself. In fact, when I am busy, sometimes just sleeping together IS the quality time we can share. Not sex. Not a booty call. Just talking for a half hour and drifting to sleep together.
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