MsMartha Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 Hello, I am curious .. This question goes to the OW who has succeded in getting the MM. How do you feel in the relationship? Jealous? Are you worried about his "old friends"? FWB What about casual sex with the ex cause she hasn't been dating for a while and needs "safe sex"? (safe in that she knows him) Are you afraid he will find someone else? Or Are you living an open honest and healthy R? Has MM stopped cheating? Were you the "only time" he cheated? Planning children? What about MM family? Have they accepted you? Did THEY know how you met MM? Or are they in "the dark"? I have heard that hell has no wrath as a woman scorned is nothing to scoff at, but an OW turned W scorned is double the wrath. And so I am curious if I wait 2 to 3 years, I can sit back and watch my bf suffer the wrath of the OW? Cause I am SURE he will do it again. Or maybe I'm wrong and the OW wins and I loose my man:mad: No to be hatin' (I was an OW in my 20's by accident, the guy told me he wasn't married. I did research and found out and it took me 5 mth to let him go) I am wondering.... No bashing I just want to see .... Thanks it would be a big help to me...
TogetherForever Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 MsMartha, You can click on my screen name to get details on my situation. I've been with my s/o for over 7 years. Living together for 5 & 1/2 yrs. I've met everyone in his family. I go to all the family functions now. Etc... TF:)
Author MsMartha Posted October 30, 2007 Author Posted October 30, 2007 Yes but how is it for you? I went to your profile read a few things, but I didn't find the story on how you met and ended up with him. It must have been hard. Maybe you have a link to your story?
CallMeCrazy Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 I'd be really curious to hear about this as well.... I'm hoping for the best with my MM but who knows. IF he does leave his W I know I'm in for a big mess. I'd love to hear about what has happened to others if anyone is willing to share. Thanks!!
TogetherForever Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 Yes but how is it for you? I went to your profile read a few things, but I didn't find the story on how you met and ended up with him. It must have been hard. Maybe you have a link to your story? I met him at my old job all those years ago. Him & his partner would come in everyday for lunch. He told me that he saw us together. Together Forever:love:. LOL In a year, he left his wife & we started our relationship. It's history from there:). TF
sunshineyone Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 l'm a former OW ..... l say former as l'm now happily married to my MM, we have been together 8 yrs, married for 5 , happy and settled or at least as much as we can be , to answer the questions........ How do you feel in the relationship? Jealous? No can't say l do,neither of us gives the other any reason for jealousy Are you worried about his "old friends"? FWB Again no...but then again we have moved away from his previous home turf and started life anew...l have questioned wether he misses his old friends but as he points out he and they have changed and have little in common anymore What about casual sex with the ex cause she hasn't been dating for a while and needs "safe sex"? (safe in that she knows him) err no...l know that would not happen Are you afraid he will find someone else? No...sorry if this is getting repetitive? Or Are you living an open honest and healthy R? Being open and honest is the reason we are together.... we have no secrets Has MM stopped cheating? He only "cheated " with me Were you the "only time" he cheated? see above Planning children? nope..we already have a 17yr old and a 9yr old between us.. What about MM family? Have they accepted you? Yes... some of them quicker than others but l think eventually they all came to see how happy we were together...now we are completely accepted by everyone. Did THEY know how you met MM? hmm...not sure if they know the precise settings etc,some may know more than others but they know we were both married and we each left our spouses to live together. Or are they in "the dark"? hope these answers were of some use and interest.. Sue
OWoman Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 MsMartha this isn't quite what you asked, but it's related in a roundabout way. My MM started out as his W's OM. After messing him and her H around for ages, she finally settled on her OM and they eventually married. After years of abuse at his W's hands, MM finally started standing up for himself after counselling, separated from her emotionally and got involved with an OW (me). He's now in the process of leaving his W. In this case, it wasn't the WS who cheated again, but the WS who was cheated on, if you look at it in those crude terms. (I view things differently, of course) Karma of a slightly different shade.
Author MsMartha Posted October 30, 2007 Author Posted October 30, 2007 I'm asking this because I want to know if the MM can switch his thinking so to speak and stop seeing the OW as the OW but now as the SO. Not the "one time" cheaters because those cases are unique each and every one, but the serial cheaters. Do they ever change? Or are you now on the other side of the equation? Ae you more on edge? I would be. If I were trying to have a real R with a man I once cheated with, I would be jealous. I'd worry that he'd think "well, she didn't have a problem dating me when I was in my R so why should she it bother her now if I want to get some more on the side? I'm interested in how you would deal with it. Anyway, thanks for he response so far you guys are really the next best thing to therapy!!!! I have a lot more questions, but I think I will read around for awhile.
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