bigheartkindsoul Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 I mean I know women tend to worry and think about things. I do alot. It doesn't effect me dating as most things just whirl around in my head. But I worry about everything. As an example only, I read the thread about cleaner Anal Sex, I started worrying that what if a new date wanted to do this, then leading to thoughts of oh what if a person I start dating is kinky or likes wierd things that I am into - chain of thought goes on and on until I get distracted. How can I stop thinking about things too much and worrying in advance so much, not just about dating but about everything from up coming work appointements, to worrying about have I upset some one (which I never have or do just worry ), to upcoming work reviews, dates and dating and just being generally paranoid. It's not that I have low self esteem, that isn't it, I am just an over thinker/worrier.
The Joker Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 I mean I know women tend to worry and think about things. I do alot. It doesn't effect me dating as most things just whirl around in my head. But I worry about everything. As an example only, I read the thread about cleaner Anal Sex, I started worrying that what if a new date wanted to do this, then leading to thoughts of oh what if a person I start dating is kinky or likes wierd things that I am into - chain of thought goes on and on until I get distracted. How can I stop thinking about things too much and worrying in advance so much, not just about dating but about everything from up coming work appointements, to worrying about have I upset some one (which I never have or do just worry ), to upcoming work reviews, dates and dating and just being generally paranoid. It's not that I have low self esteem, that isn't it, I am just an over thinker/worrier. I think some people are just hardwired to worry but they themselves can make it better or worse. I'm sure many will suggest replacing worries with hobbies. But in the end your worries will just envelope those as well! Relax! and try not to take things in life so seriously. So applied to what you read on here, if your boyfriend did ask you if you were a kinky gal. Well you say hell yes! or you say no way! when the time comes, if it comes. But don't wait upon that moment, only to validate your worries like: Yes! i knew i was right thinking he would say such things the worries confirmed my worst fears. Nah, no sense in that stuff. Enjoy things for what they are, life is far too short.
Timberlane Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 The only way I have found to avoid this anxiety trap is to plan a lot of things during your week leading up to the date. For me, that would be doing a lot of climbing, which tends to clear my head completely when it is getting my attention. Tonight was a good, cleansing outing outdoors with a good male friend. I find exercise also helps stop thinking. So does watching engrossing films. Again, it looks like you are quite busy with some new sports, social gatherings, etc. And of course you are here, which is a pretty good way to work out your negative thoughts.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted October 30, 2007 Author Posted October 30, 2007 Thanks both I will try and go with the flow, its not just dating its just life in general I always wonder, worry etc too much. Timberlane - well nice pic, very handsome man indeedy
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