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Refusing to give up this time. in need of relationship guidence


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Well where should I begin. I am 17 and a junior in High school. I have never ahd a girlfriend a a relationship between the opposite sex that really at its core meant anything.It is not that I am a social outcast who is overshadowed in the world but I tend to be less social in some of my classes, to the point that I wont speak unless spoken too, I guess you could say its a habit. Besides the point let me get on with what I wish guidence on.

 

So as I have said above I am a junior, and infatuated with this girl, actually to tell the truth I have been since my freshmen year. However I have never really pushed myself to interact with her among my many chances in previous school years, actually my sophomore year she sat right infront of me in one class. This year I have tried to atleast begin interacting with her and actually it started off great, though in a very stupid manner. I sent her a message on myspace, yeah i know must seem pathetic. Well she replied and we had a really good conversation in my eyes. Eventually a day in the week as she recognized my face in the hall she waved frantically in my view and smiled to match her enthusiasm. I smiled and waved back, though not as much time to make it as wonderful. Some days later I had exclaimed we should meet up and hangout sometime, I asked her what lunch she had and it turns out she had both, however drove home and stayed there durring lunch. Note we have NO classes together. So anyways with that being said the conversation widdled to an end and some occuring days when I would see her in the halls I would wave, though feel utterly stupid because she didnt seem to notice me and her friends were next to her and chatting.Some day I was in the library and ugh this is where I think I completed lost my chance with her, it was a lack of confidence actually without knowing the consequences or knowing how to react. But I was reading a book on my off period in the library and she walked in with her best friend to ask someone about something, recognizing the voice i turned around to find it was her. I looked away. Then looked back and she msut have recognized me and was staring at me, totaly losing my cool i quickly looked away feelign stupid as i did so and for the remainder of the time that she was there I hadnt looked again. I feel I have lost all hope of her liking me or redeeming myself of being short of courage, and from what ive foudn out is courage means almsot everything.

 

 

Now she is really looking for a boyfriend, and actually likes some boy. We have very small talk on myspace* sometimes and it equals to her jsut stopping the conversation, obviously I need a way to get out of this myspace only hole but I can never find the time or dont know if i should even try, her firend are ALWAYS with her. however I dont want to give up, honestly if i gave up i would never have a chance.

 

 

Im posting here to build my own confidence and to see if i can get some kidn of guidence in the situation, honestly when I see myself in a relationship I want it too mean something I dont want to go into one not really liking the individual. Hell the only advice i get from my best friends is that i should just go out with some girl i dont like for 'practice' but i feel that is jsut aweful and i would not enjoy it and feel completely guilty. Well I guess to finish this up I will jsut state here that anyone who replies with help thank you, in some way it will help me.

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