spookie Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 How high does your interest level have to be before you agree to go on a date with someone? Last night, my friends and I went to a couple of halloween parties. I didn't want to spend money on a costume, so I put on a plaid skirt I had, a dress shirt with the buttons missing, some sexy shoes, 3 inches of eye makeup and bam, I was a slutty schoolgirl. At the second party we went to, I noticed an attractive blonde guy looking my way. I decided to practice my pickup skills by smiling encouragingly. For the next half hour, he kept staring and following me between the inside of the house, the front patio, and the back yard, while I got progressively drunker and drunker on trash can punch. Eventually, when I was alone, he approached. We had a nice conversation, although he made me nervous with his probing blue eyes. I didn't particularly feel a strong connection, but he was easy to talk to and definitely seemed like a really nice guy. Anyway, he asked for my number, but my friends were ready to leave the party and go eat, some friends of his wanted to come too, and I wanted to see how far his interest would stretch, so I told him I'd meet him there. I didn't expect him to actually come, but he did, and without the friends. We chatted some more, and again I felt that though he is interesting and nice I'm not really interested romantically. I'm not sure why. I think it's a combo of him being "not my type" physically (although he is really cute), a bit more of a "nice guy" than I tend to go for (but this isn't a bad thing...), and maybe not intellectually stimulating enough (though it's unfair to judge this in a situation where we were both plastered). At the end of the night, he got my number and said he'd call today, which he did. He called three times before he reached me (I went biking after I slept off my hangover), and asked me out for Wednesday night. He told me he'd call between 3 and 4 pm to confirm. I was impressed by his efforts. Normally I wouldn't think anything of hanging out with someone I was unsure about, but he lives two hours away and would have to make the drive out here to see me, so I feel like maybe I'm leading him on because his interest seems higher than mine. On the other hand, that's what dating is for, right? To find out if you like someone? What do you guys think? Is it ok to go out with him?
mpower95 Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 I say its ok as long as you set boundaries and set the tempo early on. Don't do anything that could possibly lead him on, like getting intimate too early or talking to him on the phone too much.
BenefitOfTheDoubt Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 Barring physical repulsion, I'll normally go on a date with pretty much anyone who is "easy to talk to and definitely seems like a really nice guy." My physical attraction to a guy almost always grows as I learn more about him (this is, of course, assuming I like the things I learn about him!), and I've definitely had the experience where a guy with whom I felt no instant spark has become utterly irresistible to me over time. However, I would turn down the date with this particular guy because he lives 2 hours away. I simply have absolutely no interest in a long-ish distance relationship. I'd give some serious consideration to whether you'd want a relationship with *any* guy who lives 2 hours away. If the answer is yes, what have you got to lose? If the answer is no, save the guy the long drive!
Author spookie Posted October 29, 2007 Author Posted October 29, 2007 However, I would turn down the date with this particular guy because he lives 2 hours away. I simply have absolutely no interest in a long-ish distance relationship. I'd give some serious consideration to whether you'd want a relationship with *any* guy who lives 2 hours away. If the answer is yes, what have you got to lose? If the answer is no, save the guy the long drive! Well, I'm not really looking for a relationship. If it so happens that I fall in love with someone, then I'd like to have one, but for now I just want to meet people and have fun. Regarding this guy's living situation, he has a job that lets him travel a lot all over the state, and he is my town several times a week anyway, so in this case I think two hours would actually feel closer. Still, I feel bad that he is going to drive all the way out to see me if I'm not sure I even see him as more than a friend.
Trialbyfire Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 My interest level has to peak, before dating anyone. If it takes years, that's okay too. a bit more of a "nice guy" than I tend to go for I like the sound of this. Why not give it one date? A two hour drive is not a big deal. Where I live, when I used to commute, a one-way 1.5 hour drive during rush hour, happened quite frequently. Since my old office used to be less than 15 miles away, how bad was that, huh? Oh, as a thought, it might not be a bad idea to make it a double-date, since you've only just met him and you don't seem to know anyone who can vouch for him.
oppath Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 My interest level has to peak, before dating anyone. If it takes years, that's okay too. I like the sound of this. Why not give it one date? A two hour drive is not a big deal. Where I live, when I used to commute, a one-way 1.5 hour drive during rush hour, happened quite frequently. Since my old office used to be less than 15 miles away, how bad was that, huh? Oh, as a thought, it might not be a bad idea to make it a double-date, since you've only just met him and you don't seem to know anyone who can vouch for him. I don't know about the double date, but lets not get drunk and go swimming with him the first night you meet him . Maybe a semi-double date would be good, like you spend some along time with him first, and THEN meet some friends at a bar.
Author spookie Posted October 29, 2007 Author Posted October 29, 2007 I like the sound of this. Why not give it one date? A two hour drive is not a big deal. Where I live, when I used to commute, a one-way 1.5 hour drive during rush hour, happened quite frequently. Since my old office used to be less than 15 miles away, how bad was that, huh? Oh, as a thought, it might not be a bad idea to make it a double-date, since you've only just met him and you don't seem to know anyone who can vouch for him. I don't know about the double date, but lets not get drunk and go swimming with him the first night you meet him . Maybe a semi-double date would be good, like you spend some along time with him first, and THEN meet some friends at a bar. Thanks for the green light y'all! Seriously your advice means a lot and I've been making so many bad decisions recently that both of you could have foretold for me that I'm glad you think I'm ok on this one. I think I might Wednesday a group outing actually, it's Halloween and some friends of mine wanted to go downtown also. Or maybe I'll grab dinner with just him and then we'll all go out. I'm not worried about the safety of being alone with him because a couple friends DID vouch for him. They had all good things to say except apparently his gf just left him, so he's probably on the rebound. Which actually fits right in with the high interest level at this stage, but I'm not too worried - I'm so dead on the inside that I doubt anything can hurt me.
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