Crestfallen_KH Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 So my ridiculous STBX hasn't bothered to open up his own bank account under his own name. He's still using his old account from when we were together (which is joint). I didn't worry about it TOO much, since I opened up my OWN account and he didn't have access to my money. But, I got a letter stating he bounced a check. So, I re-added his bank acount to my online profile to check it out, and saw that he was apparently in his mother's hometown this weekend. There was a charge in there at a winery (one I had always wanted to go to with him) so it's obvious he took her. He wouldn't have gone out of his way to stop at this winery by himself. So, just two short months into their relationship, my husband is bringing his affair partner to meet his mother. On one level, I'm thinking how miserable this weekend must have been. She has been very sympathetic to me, so it must have been hard on her. Secondly, it must have been hard on him since he knows she doesn't approve of his infidelity and finally, it had to have been uncomfortable for her since she knows his mom knows how they came to be together. But man - as if moving in right away after we separated wasn't enough, he's now freaking introducing her to his FAMILY? Just barely 5 weeks after they moved in together?!?! Ugh. I am so glad I filed the papers this last week. I just want OUT of this roller coaster mess! Oh, and I sent him a strongly worded e-mail to get his own dang account as I did not want my credit put at risk for his bouncing checks. What a tool.
alterego1234 Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 Just close the joint account. If your name is on it you have every right to close it. Then he will not be able to bounce checks and affect your credit. You can (and probably should) also close any joint credit card accounts if you have any. If you have any accounts on which he is an authorized user you can cancel his cards for those as well.
Author Crestfallen_KH Posted October 29, 2007 Author Posted October 29, 2007 We have already done that on the credit cards, and now I gave him two weeks to do it on his checking account. If it is still open in two weeks, I will close it and send him a check. I'm just still in shock that we are still in the process of divorcing and he takes his affair partner to meet his mom. I just can't even fathom that. How disconnected IS he? This sucks.
reboot Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 I know it doesn't help much, but try to comfort yourself with the knowledge that in a year or two you'll look back and be SO glad that SHE has him and YOU don't.
Author Crestfallen_KH Posted October 30, 2007 Author Posted October 30, 2007 Yeah, I'm actually a little surprised. I was feeling kind of bad about it (obviously enough to write a post about it) but then I realized something... The entire situation is sort of funny. Bringing your affair partner to meet your mom while you're going through a divorce. Quick, what channel is this new soap opera on? Then, I started rolling my eyes and shaking my head. And I haven't cried. Not once. And today? Still not crying - but - actually at PEACE that this didn't just make me completely break down. Sure, it sucks, but I feel...I dunno...DIFFERENT about this situation than I would have, say, a month ago. A month ago, I would have cried and lost it. But now...I'm still shaking my head and realizing just how out there his thinking is. My word....is it...is it....progress??
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