Curmudgeon Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Like I said before you would be shocked to hear what your wife really thinks of you. ...you know my wife so well, Woggle. You must have some special powers. WAIT! Of course you do. They're called delusions, halucinations or psychosis.
Author Woggle Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 I wish I didnt understand how you feel, but I do! Do you want my life? Do you want to bounce from relationship to relationship? Nobody ever really knowing you, nobody really loving you? Constantly pushing poeple away so they cant get close enough to hurt you? Are you prepared to feel lonely, and hollow? Forever? If you divorce her... break her heart first... do you understand what your giving up? Your life would be preferable to the life of the men on the seperation and divorce forum. I don't believe that women truly love men anyway so either way there is nobody really loving me. I might be giving up something and I might be averting disaster.
JackJack Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 To me I am just realistic about women. I know how they are and I know their true nature. I am not naive enough to think that I have somehow found a woman that is unlike every other woman. I don't know how I will tell her yet. Realistic is not someone who thinks ALL women are a certain way. And since you seem to know so much about ALL women and how they are, maybe you should write a book on it. No, nevermiond there is enough negativity on books like that.
Trialbyfire Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Wow, this is all about fear and insecurity.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Your life would be preferable to the life of the men on the seperation and divorce forum. I don't believe that women truly love men anyway so either way there is nobody really loving me. I might be giving up something and I might be averting disaster. Well, if you run now... what makes you better than a walk away wife? Dont think that the women of your past are the same as the women in your present! Dont blame all women for the sins of some! You think your wife resents you already? What signs do you see? What proof?
Curmudgeon Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Wow, this is all about fear and insecurity. ...then answers it himself and then argues for his response. Now would someone please tell me why he asked at all since he thinks he already knows the answer. Perhaps he's actually just a troll. Either way, sign of a sick mind?
PandorasBox Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Oh Woggle, I am really sorry to hear you want to dissolve your marriage..... but you have struggled for so long with how you feel.... it might be best after all. Also, if you do get a divorce, it might be to your benefit to only date occasionally...don't ever get involved with someone seriously again.....unless you have a complete change of heart on how your view women and realtionships.
PandorasBox Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Now would someone please tell me why he asked at all since he thinks he already knows the answer. *attention seeking maybe? Some mentioned him playing the victim role, maybe thats it?
Mustang Sally Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 [quote=Curmudgeon;1381011Perhaps he's actually just a troll. Yeah. I'm starting to think this, as well. And this whole deal is starting to actually become comical, in a way... Woggle? Buddy? Are you for real? Seriously? Get some help, man.
Curmudgeon Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 The signs are all in his(?) mind. Actually, I think he's/she's just a troll who takes perverse pleasure in trying to convince others to doubt their marriages. It likes to cause dissent. It's the only excitement it has in life.
JackJack Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Now would someone please tell me why he asked at all since he thinks he already knows the answer. *attention seeking maybe? Some mentioned him playing the victim role, maybe thats it? I'm the one who mentioned playign the victim role. And I really think now, that is what it is. People only continue in a certain behavior (positive or negative) if they feel they getting something from it.
Trialbyfire Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 ...then answers it himself and then argues for his response. Now would someone please tell me why he asked at all since he thinks he already knows the answer. Perhaps he's actually just a troll. Either way, sign of a sick mind? C, in some ways, he is trolling, in that he does want responses so he can vent. Overall though, he's afraid of someone walking away because deep down inside of him, he doesn't feel he's good enough to love.
Author Woggle Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 If I didn't love her it would be easy to just enhjoy the ride while it lasts but I do lover her very much and that would make a divorce much more painful. I am trying to protect my heart and if I knew that she were in this for real and really loved me the way I love her I would stay with her forever but I am not sure if any woman truly loves a man like that.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 I'm the one who mentioned playign the victim role. And I really think now, that is what it is. People only continue in a certain behavior (positive or negative) if they feel they getting something from it. I think your correct to a certain degree. Perhaps less a victims role than a request for sympathy and understanding. Not everyone deals with the pain of thier past in the same way! Plus note the feeling that this is beyond control... Usually that's a fear that you are unable to change the behavior within yourself to make sure the problem does not occur again. Thus its better to feel this is fated. See where I am going?
Trialbyfire Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Woggle, work on those self-worth issues. Yes, you were abused by your mother but once again, she's not indicative of the female gender. She's indicative of someone who's neurotic. She's also projected her neurosis onto you. Do you want to be like your mother? If not, work on yourself because you have become...just...like...her.
JackJack Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 I think your correct to a certain degree. Perhaps less a victims role than a request for sympathy and understanding. Not everyone deals with the pain of thier past in the same way! Plus note the feeling that this is beyond control... Usually that's a fear that you are unable to change the behavior within yourself to make sure the problem does not occur again. Thus its better to feel this is fated. See where I am going? I understand. However, he been given advice and answers/opinons the entire time he has been on these boards reguarding the same issues. He was given sympathy and understanding many times. BUT, I think once someone has already made up their mind in their way of thinking there's not much more anyone can do or say. If he feels the way he does, fine. Its best for him to move on until he can feel some self worth and know he is worthy of love and that not ALL women are alike.
Curmudgeon Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 I might agree except for the fact that he seemingly seeks advice then totally ignores it while he pontificates on the same tired subject time after time. If he was so freaking afraid he'd seek appropriate help. He doesn't, therefore I have to believe he isn't.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 If I didn't love her it would be easy to just enhjoy the ride while it lasts but I do lover her very much and that would make a divorce much more painful. I am trying to protect my heart and if I knew that she were in this for real and really loved me the way I love her I would stay with her forever but I am not sure if any woman truly loves a man like that. You know deep down that she loves you! You would never have let her in if she didnt! Besides, if you really loved her the way you say that you do.... You would be more worried about what you can do for her, than how bad she can hurt you.
Author Woggle Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 Woggle, work on those self-worth issues. Yes, you were abused by your mother but once again, she's not indicative of the female gender. She's indicative of someone who's neurotic. She's also projected her neurosis onto you. Do you want to be like your mother? If not, work on yourself because you have become...just...like...her. It is more than my mother. I admit that I tend to generalize women but I know so many men experiencing what I am afraid of and even when you look on this board you see so many women who seem to hate their men and so many men in pain because the woman they loved turned on them. If all you see is negativity around you how can it not make you afraid?
Trialbyfire Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 I might agree except for the fact that he seemingly seeks advice then totally ignores it while he pontificates on the same tired subject time after time. If he was so freaking afraid he'd seek appropriate help. He doesn't, therefore I have to believe he isn't. He continues to be in therapy, although I wonder if he's being honest with his therapist to the degree that he should be. Either that or she's not the correct therapist for him. I think he needs a male therapist. Someone who he can trust and also, someone who can help to focus him towards the real issues/people in his past, which/who created such a dysfunctional foundation to base his thought processes on.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 It is more than my mother. I admit that I tend to generalize women but I know so many men experiencing what I am afraid of and even when you look on this board you see so many women who seem to hate their men and so many men in pain because the woman they loved turned on them. If all you see is negativity around you how can it not make you afraid? Can you recognize that it goes both ways?
Author Woggle Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 Can you recognize that it goes both ways? I guess it does.
Cobra_X30 Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 I guess it does. How much do you love your wife?
Citizen Erased Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 I know that I need to trust her but let me ask the women a question. If 9 out of 10 of your friends were getting beaten by their husbands and the majority of men saw nothing wrong with beating women and all over the internet there were boards encouraging this wouldn't you start to become distrustful of men in general? Wouldn't you start doubting your own relationship. This is the situation that a man like me finds himself in but I do need to see that my wife is an individual and not like most women. Oh please. Use your imagination to know where you can shove that useless post. Other then that I will refuse to speak to such a child any longer.
Curmudgeon Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 This is the situation that a man like me finds himself in... And just what kind of man is that? Delusional? Psychotic? Paranoid? Agoraphobic? Hallucinating? If your description is accurate then you live a strange life with strange friends, strange neighbors and strrange coworkers, Woggle. I think you should move. I hear that the town of Reality in Anystate, U.S. is kinda nice. You're unhealthy and suffocating while mired in the muck where you are because you choose to be there. You have also become boring and redundant. Good day! :sick:
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