Jane T Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 (I'm not going out with this guy and never have. I've known him for 5 years, he's my mother's friend's son. He's 32, I'm 28.) I really enjoy being around him, and feel a weird combination of calm and excited when I am with him. He's one of the first people I think of in the morning, and usually the last person I think of when I go to sleep. He moved away once and I felt like, well, I'd had an arm amputated or something. He's usually the only person who can make me feel better instantly if something's wrong. He's not perfect, and can be a complete jackass sometimes. And sometimes he's just great. If he's in a bad mood or having a bad day, that's been known to ruin my day too because I'm worried. That doesn't happen all the time though, and hopefully I'm able to cheer him up too.
Stereogram Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 Love - you'd be in physical pain he was away... Lust - you've had sex with him...but don't value his personality as much...and he's replacable. Crush - you think about him a lot but you have hesistation in some instances.. Obsession - you want to really know this person and the more it seems like you never will, the crazier you get. You have a CRUSH.
Trialbyfire Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 Providing the nature of your relationship would help. Also, how long have these symptoms existed? If you have no physical interaction or romantic relationship with him, I would guess it's limerence.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 (I'm not going out with this guy and never have. I've known him for 5 years, he's my mother's friend's son. He's 32, I'm 28.) I really enjoy being around him, and feel a weird combination of calm and excited when I am with him. He's one of the first people I think of in the morning, and usually the last person I think of when I go to sleep. He moved away once and I felt like, well, I'd had an arm amputated or something. He's usually the only person who can make me feel better instantly if something's wrong. He's not perfect, and can be a complete jackass sometimes. And sometimes he's just great. If he's in a bad mood or having a bad day, that's been known to ruin my day too because I'm worried. That doesn't happen all the time though, and hopefully I'm able to cheer him up too. I am of the opinion that most of what you describe is the result of becoming aware of a suitably-aged male via paths where you don't first put up your defenses and then slowly, if ever, allow some guy to penetrate the fortress. Instead you were with your mom, who was with her casual friend, who just happened to have a son near your age. It doesn't matter whether you were four or twenty-eight, the light-natured environment in which you first knew him caused you to feel far more comfortable around him than you would have if you were at some loud rock concert, with make-up caked on and a mini skirt that was barely legal while under the guise of looking for appealing men. What you enjoy most about his image in your mind is just how cozy and comfortable you've always felt while he was around. That does NOT mean that he himself isn't a great guy. It means you could make beautiful music with him as much because you feel comfortable enough in the environments you've shared to actually LET HIM IN (emotionally), as because he himself is "all that" as an individual. If you're one of those kooks who believes in "soulmates"... then just forget about him and never look back. But if you're one of the more logical people who understands that most any of us could be compatable with maybe 50-70% of anyone in our age range and of the desired gender, then invite him out on a date-date, and work at merely maintaining the comfort that you've already shared. (be sure to look over at the next table at two others on a "first date" who are struggling for conversation and who are critiquing every move and mannerism in the other)
Recommended Posts