minerva63 Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 as part of the recovery over a break-up, a lot of people will tell you to throw away every reminder of this other person. while i've been able to erase his number and texts, i still hold on to some photos and very tender emails; and stupidly, one of his shirts. god it still smells like him. sigh. am i the only one? are there things that people hold on to as reminders of a relationship? even when it ends badly? or is this just another way to torture myself?
Lyssa Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 I have a few things that was given by my ex. Those things don't remind me of him anymore. Even when I look at them. I see them as stuff now. We're good friends now so I don't really need those things to remind me of him. I'm currently seeing someone new and I don't see any reason why I should be reminded of my ex.
funkybassplayer Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 keep as much as you can, one day you will look at them and smile.
NotAgain Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 keep as much as you can, one day you will look at them and smile. I agree . My ex ex, I have quite a few things from him/of his. And I've kept it all. I've looked at them, read them, whatever a few times. Sometimes they make me cry and feel bad because he was my first love and I care for him, and have a lot of guilt, etc. and other times they make me smile and remember the good parts of it all . I knew I would really regret throwing anything of his away - and didn't. I just put them somewhere where I wasn't faced with it eerywhere I turned. I even wear a couple of his t-shirts that left round And to be honest - I usually forget they were his in the first place. And when I do remember, I think "awww" It does get easier, and that's why I'm not as heartbroken over my new ex - I experienced it before and "got over it". Oh and I don't have much of my newly ex's stuff, but what I do have I am also keeping .
funkybassplayer Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 hey not again, thats really nice what you wrote. Its easy to chuck stuff when angry, but you will regreat it. I got my ex loads, but i also did loads of work around her house like made a new room for the little girl, and did lots of diy, i think everywhere she will look i was there! but i hope i left a good presence, i also got the kids load of presents. she got me sme great stuff that i use everyday, and i always think of her but in the loving way that the gtfts were given. The best thing i got her was a dimond ring last xmas. I remember it like it was yeaterday. I hope she feels the same.
NotAgain Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 Yep, I think 9 times out of 10 you'd regret getting rid of all memories of an ex. Because after all, no matter what happend they were once very special to you, and a lot f the time always will be. My ex ex (lol) had written me some lovely letters and poems, and I would kick myself if I had got rid of them! I'm sure most people feel the same. My newly ex spent A LOT of money on me, but more things that can't be kept..like staying away, etc. I think especially with first loves, you need to keep the memories! It is such a huge part of your life/history. Oh and by the way, awwwww, you seem such a nice guy! All the things you done for your ex . You should feel proud that you gave those things, and she'll probably regret letting you go eventually. Sometimes people just can't handle being loved and adored, and they run... I think that's what my ex has done, because I was GOOD to him and we got on well. He has commitment issues that he told me about before this happend...I should have seen it coming I supose.
funkybassplayer Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 i know what you mean. I still now and again send a few quid for the kids hols, or b/cards. I hope we will be freinds one day. I think she had deep stuff and i brought them up as we got close, a place where she hated to be, and a person she hated, but i would have stuck with her. There was also unfinshed marriage stuff. I guess it was a hard relationship but the love was always there for us both, but maybe she couldnt handle what that was bringing up in her, who knows, but for the mo, i will keep in l/c and im moving on with me, but i would never abandon her or the kids, even frineds can be great if she will let me in 1 day. Who knows!!
daisydo Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 Luckily my ex never gave me much of anything. I have pictures but that is really about it. I have some chat logs of one of the first times we talked on AIM. A couple mix cds he made me.. We had some things.. like a painting I drew.. that I left with him. It was too painful at the time to take it with me. I think he still has it up on his wall.. who knows? I also had to delete all the music he wrote that was stored on my computer. I made some Data back up discs incase he ever asked for them.. but I really couldn't stand putting iTunes on shuffle and hearing his music come on... that was just too much.
Double D Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 Im also at that stage where im not sure to burn it all, I do love that idea of a bonfire or to keep it. To be honest not sure what purpose it solves. In five/ten years time do I really want to read cards and letters, some good, some sad and presents and be reminded of it all? I am a sentimental person and tend to keep stuff but in cases of ex's im undecided. HELP! Oh and so agree about 2st loves. Just something about them
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