Is a friendship even possible?

[PattyDuke]

We are both in our late 20s; he's been separated a year and the divorce is pending. He's in love with his wife, admits that's lessening, though, and that he is in 'acceptance' phase. We became fast friends and are attracted to each other in a serious way (we've been intimate but agreed to step away). I realize he isn't ready to date and he won't act on the attraction because he doesn't want to "hurt either one of us". (though he once made a reference to waiting on our friendship and seeing if something real develops). My question: have any of you remained friends with a man going through this, a man you share a mutual connection with? What happened? How do you maintain your sanity? How do not give in the attraction and ruin the friendship?

[compassion42]

It sounds like he already did "act on the attraction" if you were intimate....right? It sounds like he is very confused and definately not in a good place for a relationship. It's so hard though because you know the chemistry is there-I can sympathize with you for sure.

Please listen to him when he says things that indicate how he feels or if he is ready to move on. I have come to learn that when a guy gives clues like that he really means them! Do what you need to do to protect your heart.

[PattyDuke]

I'm actually worried about the friendship. In the end, I honestly think we are meant to be friends. How do we both not make the same mistake again - acting on our crazy, mutual attraction?

[compassion42]

I think friendship is possible if you are able to communicate with eachother. It is hard to put those other feelings aside though because they can be very powerful! I'd say it's worth a try though.

[Timberlane]

There can't be any friendship, however, if you both avoid each other when you are feeling vulnerable or just don't want to deal with things. That will kill things.