dedo Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 I'm so new to all this dating stuff.... What are some good signs that a male dumper is just holding his female dumpee on a string....or in other words is using her as a back-up or an option. What kind of things would he do? Thanks,
Trialbyfire Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 Anyone can express any sentiment, but do they follow it up with actions that equal those words?
Author dedo Posted October 28, 2007 Author Posted October 28, 2007 Could someone else please tell what kinda signs I should be looking for? Thanks,
oppath Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 How about you explain your situation so we can assess it? Understand, few people would think "I am just going to use this person as an option while I pursue this other person." Generally someone does miss you and genuinely have some feelings for you and they struggle for you to not be in their life. When someone on LS says "don't be his/her option" they are saying "don't settle for less than what you want. Take charge of your life, because if you don't, you will feel like you were nothing but an option."
Author dedo Posted October 28, 2007 Author Posted October 28, 2007 I am a female dumpee. We have been apart for about 7 months. I have given him lots of space for the first 5 months and then have slowly started to email and chat with him. We have met a few times to chat about remaining friends. However, I want him back. He knows this. He still has feelings for me, I can see it in his eyes. I have read a lot about NC and I am new to dating games, even though NC is beneficial for other purposes too. I feel as though he is keeping me at bay as a back-up and on a string at the same time. I just recently invited him out to a halloween party on a sunday night. He said that he doesnt know what he will be doing on a Sunday night. He is quiet and shy....he doesnt have many friends....and its a Sunday night. He said that he is leaning towards a "yes", but he will let me know Sunday afternoon!!! And every once in a while out of the blue he will email me with some weird blurb about nothing in particular, just to see if I am still around. I've had enough. So, I am going to go NC....well low contact actually. We have a mutual dance class that we take together once a week. I dont want to quit on the basis of this. My question to you guys who are the dumpers: Have you palyed the game where your dumpee is on a string or you treat her as a back-up? What if you discover that your dumpee is no-longer waiting for you, how would this make you feel? Would you be curious to what they are doing and want them back? I'm just wondering if this will work?
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