Sparklyred Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 :love:PLEASE RESPOND IF YOU ARE READING THIS: Oh god, do you ever ask yourself why you do these things? I do, and all I can come up with is that I feel so alive, so wanted, so special, so sexy- when I'm wanted by this MM. We live in the same neighborhood. We play on the same sports team. I see him 2x a week. We had a brief (2 month) intense affair - I knew and he knew- that the chances of it working out were slim to none- and the chances of it ending badly were very strong. and yet, though we talked about it, our intense desire for one another overcame our logic and we embarked on what has been the most fulfilling relationship I've had in years- one where my heart sung. where I felt so satisfied. But I fell in love. I broke the rules. I said he had to make a decision and I ended it. But then I went back. I think by doing this I cheapened myself. Then he ended it and said that what we had, when we had it, was so special to him but that I met him at a low point in his relationship with his wife- apparently, since he ended it with me, it's better with them. But I see him all the time and we have very little contact otherwise. I text him and he rarely texts me back. It's so ****ing humiliating. Makes me feel like such a loser. And it makes me want him more. I keep saying to myself, it's the guys who YOU DON'T WANT who want you. The guys you want, obsess over, they are always running/. So don't want him and he'll come back to you. But I can't seem to do it. I always end up initiating contact. Can anyone relate? How do we get over this? It's so humiliating. really. I feel like when I see him that I have lessened myself in his eyes, that even though he's in a bad relationship (he says he's not compatble, that he wants kids and she doesn't, that they rarely have sex, that she has low self confidence and he loves my confidence, etc) he still chooses her over me. He won't even see me secretly and that makes me feel so low. Any advice for me? Can anyone relate?
OWoman Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 :love:PLEASE RESPOND IF YOU ARE READING THIS: Oh god, do you ever ask yourself why you do these things? I do, and all I can come up with is that I feel so alive, so wanted, so special, so sexy- when I'm wanted by this MM. We live in the same neighborhood. We play on the same sports team. I see him 2x a week. We had a brief (2 month) intense affair - I knew and he knew- that the chances of it working out were slim to none- and the chances of it ending badly were very strong. and yet, though we talked about it, our intense desire for one another overcame our logic and we embarked on what has been the most fulfilling relationship I've had in years- one where my heart sung. where I felt so satisfied. But I fell in love. I broke the rules. I said he had to make a decision and I ended it. But then I went back. I think by doing this I cheapened myself. Then he ended it and said that what we had, when we had it, was so special to him but that I met him at a low point in his relationship with his wife- apparently, since he ended it with me, it's better with them. But I see him all the time and we have very little contact otherwise. I text him and he rarely texts me back. It's so ****ing humiliating. Makes me feel like such a loser. And it makes me want him more. I keep saying to myself, it's the guys who YOU DON'T WANT who want you. The guys you want, obsess over, they are always running/. So don't want him and he'll come back to you. But I can't seem to do it. I always end up initiating contact. Can anyone relate? How do we get over this? It's so humiliating. really. I feel like when I see him that I have lessened myself in his eyes, that even though he's in a bad relationship (he says he's not compatble, that he wants kids and she doesn't, that they rarely have sex, that she has low self confidence and he loves my confidence, etc) he still chooses her over me. He won't even see me secretly and that makes me feel so low. Any advice for me? Can anyone relate? Sparkly, you wanted him to choose and he chose. There was always the risk, in that, that he'd choose her - and he has. Before, he could have you both - but now he knows that's not what you want, you want to be his only. And, for whatever reasons, he chooses her as his only. It's not easy for you, I'm sure, but at least it's more honest than stringing you along and pretending that he's "almost" ready to leave her and make you his only. At least you know where you stand with him, even if it's not where you want to be. By not wanting to see you secretly, he's not putting you down, he's treating you with honesty and respect. Walk away, Sparkly - don't hang around on the fringes for someone who's chosen someone else. Even if, some time in the future, he changes his mind on that one, you want him to come to you as an equal, not out of pity. Don't humiliate yourself. You may not know his reasons for his choice, but he has reasons and you need to accept those and move on. Good luck Sparkly - this is difficult but you need to be kind to yourself.
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