therelic2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 I want to apologize ahead of time for the poor grammar and spelling mistakes. Why are women crazy!? My girlfriend is driving me nuts! She's like a freaking yo-yo. One day she's perfectly fine and the next day she's doubting our relationship, acts all depressed and doesn't want to anything all. All she does is sleep. She has classes to go to, which she does not. She hasn't gone grocery shopping in two months because she doesn't want to leave her room. She leaves once a day to get food. She hasn't cooked in one month. If I tell her that she should get out of her house and get errands done, she tells me that it's none of my concern and she can take care of her business. If we're in a relationship, how am I supposed to sit there idlely while she's self destruct mode?! She refuses to see a doctor. She obviously has a problem but does not want to address it. It may be depression... I am about 4000 miles away from her, so it's very difficult for me to do anything. It's gotten so bad that we're always having fights and the fights end with me getting angry or irritated with her where I no longer want to be with her. I still love her and want to be with her, but the fights and her laziness is just causing grief. At the beginning of our relationship, I was complacent and she had mentioned it. She was right to some extent but also very unrealistc as she had absolutely no responsibilities while I had a fulltime job. She expected me to do things that were virtually impossible because my day was very stressful. Since she had absolutely nothing to do at all day, she thought my day was just as easy as her's... This just exacerbated the entire situation. I just know the responsibilities of the real world and noone can function in such a manner. I take care of my responsibilities and I expected her to take of her own. When I see her dropping the ball when it comes to her own responsibility, it completely turns me off. It's almost as if she's very mentally weak and that's complete turn off. I have broken up with my ex because I wasn't able to handle the fact that she was incredibly weak mentally. When there was any pressure, she would crumble. There were many other factors for our breakup, but this played a roll. Now, to my present relationship. When it started I did talk to her and was very responsive when it came to our conversations. I later just ran out of things to say to her (in terms of conversation material) with this, I also started noticing her lazy ways which really did not encourage me to put for any effort in even trying to talk her. I would talk to her generally, but nothing specifically about our relationship. Whenever I would ask her why she's not doing anything she's supposed, she'd tell me she'd get to it later or basically to mind my own business. I just found that very disrespectful as if she didn't respect me. I felt as if she didn't respect me why the heck should even bother to put for any effort in terms of talking to her about anything. I was somewhat satisfied with the status quo. She notices this and get upset every day if not every other day.. And I quite frankly do not care on most occasions as I knew it would eventually blow over and if she's not going to respect me why the heck should I respect anything she has to say. I didn't feel this literally, but lately this feeling has slowly crept in. We're always fighting and breaking up. I think we may have broken up for the last time. I want to be with her and marry her, but she's incredibly incosisitent with what she's feeling and how she acts that I can't rely on her. I don't know how she'll be the next day. In my culture if there's a "run away bride" in a total disgrace to the families involved. My family knows about her (we're going out..) Her family does not. If her family were to find out about us, there'll be 2 scenarios. 1. We can't be with each other 2. We must get married right away. I am perfectly fine with # 2 as I do want to marry her. She obviously is not convinced of that. She's not even convinced if she loves me and wants to be with me. So, as much as I want to be with her, my life is being turned upside down by her inconsitent ways. I don't know if there's a question in this long post... Probably just venting.. I am leaving a lot out of this in terms of details.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 From what I read, your issues are that 1) she's lazy and 2) she isn't entirely committed to the relationship. Have you talked to her about how you're feeling? Does she know how frustrated you've become? I can somewhat understand where your gf is coming from. My bf and I have had "issues" regarding my inability to focus and be lazy. I'll be the first to admit that I've been quite complacent when it comes to some of my responsibilities...perhaps this is a problem that only SHE can solve. I'm wondering if perhaps her "yo-yo"-like nature is what is making you very upset. What if she were 100% committed to you but a lazy slob? How would you feel then? For whatever reason, I'm getting the sense from your posts that there may be a weight issue. Is she struggling with her weight? Could that possibly explain her not wanting to leave her apartment (or not want to eat for that matter). Maybe she doesn't feel worthy of the relationship (hence she's pushing you away). This is all conjecture on my part. Just throwing some feelers out there. But trust me OP (as a supreme procrastinator) - sometimes the girl has to get up off her ass get stuff done of her own volition. And all you can do is love her and try to support her - if she matters enough.
Jack Africa Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 From what I read, your issues are that 1) she's lazy and 2) she isn't entirely committed to the relationship. Press the delete button on her.She is not wife material dude. If you owned a small business would you give her a job ? Think about that !! YOu need to get real here. What you are seeing and hearing is the real HER. Marry herm and you will become her slave.
Replicant Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Why are women crazy!? My girlfriend is driving me nuts! She's like a freaking yo-yo. One day she's perfectly fine and the next day she's doubting our relationship, acts all depressed and doesn't want to anything all. Sounds like Pre-Monstrical Syndrome Dude i feel for ya, i really do!
Ocean-Blue Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Press the delete button on her.She is not wife material dude. If you owned a small business would you give her a job ? Think about that !! YOu need to get real here. What you are seeing and hearing is the real HER. Marry herm and you will become her slave. So you suggest he leave her because he'll be her "slave"? OP, I'm interested in hearing what you have to say. Sometimes leaving is the best answer, sometimes it's not. You really have to weigh the pros and cons to determine if she is someone that you can build a life with. She may change, she may not.
Jack Africa Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 So you suggest he leave her because he'll be her "slave"? . Yes I am. A woman who acts like this will eventually be his master and "in charge" of the relationship , How ? by being tired, ill, out of energy, ...blah, blah, and he will be endlessly running after her and trying to "help her" and motivate her....These women are BURDENS ... Listen to me dude, a woman is a SUPPLEMENT to YOUR life, not the other way around. Get someone who loves you more that she loves her own whims and wants.. Be a stronger man and you will find a great woman to walk with you. Tip this one out of the wheeelbarrow.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 Yes I am. A woman who acts like this will eventually be his master and "in charge" of the relationship , How ? by being tired, ill, out of energy, ...blah, blah, and he will be endlessly running after her and trying to "help her" and motivate her....These women are BURDENS ... Listen to me dude, a woman is a SUPPLEMENT to YOUR life, not the other way around. Get someone who loves you more that she loves her own whims and wants.. Be a stronger man and you will find a great woman to walk with you. Tip this one out of the wheeelbarrow. I agree that his gf has issues, but to just tell him to dump her like that...well that's a bit harsh don't you think? Like I said, I know where his gf is coming from - sometimes we all go through ruts in life. Don't you think he should find out what's going on before making any haste decisions. Let me guess Jack...you were once "burdened" by such a woman?
Author therelic2007 Posted October 28, 2007 Author Posted October 28, 2007 I just re-read what I had typed and I'm embarrassed for myself! The number of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors are disgusting. To the subject at hand: I do feel like leaving sometime due to shear frustration but when I think about how much I love her I want to stay. It's like I'm some sort of sadist to put putting myself through what feels like pain at times. I just hope it's worth it at the end.
Jack Africa Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 I agree that his gf has issues, but to just tell him to dump her like that...well that's a bit harsh don't you think? Like I said, I know where his gf is coming from - sometimes we all go through ruts in life. Don't you think he should find out what's going on before making any haste decisions. Let me guess Jack...you were once "burdened" by such a woman? SHe does not have "issues" , she is bone-a$$ lazy and she is emotionally unsuitable to be in a relationship. It is pointless trying to "talk to her" Women like this are NOt interested in fixing problems , they endlessly create more problems. Dump her, and then one of two things will happen - She will either straighten up OR she will find another guy to tolerate her lazy-a$$ ways, Either way, the OP wins.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 I just re-read what I had typed and I'm embarrassed for myself! The number of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors are disgusting. To the subject at hand: I do feel like leaving sometime due to shear frustration but when I think about how much I love her I want to stay. It's like I'm some sort of sadist to put putting myself through what feels like pain at times. I just hope it's worth it at the end. That's the thing, do you "love her" enough to stay? I don't think you're a sadist - sometimes, when you really love someone, you stick it out with them (when things hit an all time low). She sounds like she's going through her own stuff. You really should talk to her about all of this. Good luck OP and keep us posted! And Jack - you seem to have a tad bit of a chip on your shoulder. What up with all of the "dump her" talk? Leaving isn't always the answer you know.
Lyssa Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 TR2007, have you really sat down and talked to her about all these issues that you have posted here? I agree with Ocean-Blue here, you gotta talk to her. Sort things out. Or ask yourself if you really want to make this work because from what I read, you seem to want this to last....
WaterTiger Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 Jack Africa is RIGHT! If she's making you this miserable NOW, can you imagine how miserable you'll be in 5 or 6 years??? This girl is: a) mean, selfish & spoiled b) suffering from severe depression & needs medication & therapy c) doesn't want to marry you and is trying to make you break up with her You need to get away from her. You're already 4 thousand miles gone. Cut contact with her, and don't answer her when she contacts you.
BChris66 Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 This reminds me of an ex of mine, she had the same yo-yo mentality and would be fine one day, even mentioning having a kid a few times and totally depressed, didn't want to see me, didn't want to talk to me the next, then she would ring me asking me to come round to her place (25 miles away) at 12 at night because she was lonely, and when I said I couldn't because I had to go to work she threw a strop and started ringing me at 3am about how she had went to the pub and picked up some guy who was getting her drunk. I think the best advice is to talk to her, tell her your issues with her behaviour and if she still refuses to do anything then it's time to walk. It'll hurt for a while but you'll find someone who makes you happy and you'll laugh at all this, trust me.
JCD Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 We know she doesn't go to classes which means she isn't serious about her career or doesn't even know what she wants to do after school. Maybe that is the problem with her and making her depressed. Another words, she lacks motivation.
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