wowIlose Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Ok so the story is the same.. went out , she broke up with me, i pleaded, begged, took a week, did a little less pleading. Recently I canceled on one of the nights I felt I talked her into, this was Tuesday. I than broke contact because I saw her while driving around, noticed some guy and it was extremely hard not to call to find out what was happening, just ended up being her sisters boyfriend and her sister lol.. we had previously both set up to see each other today(friday). She actually called me on thursday to see if she can still see me, even though on tuesday I let her know she can after teasing her about the idea of another girl taking that time slot. I kinda knew this was a bad idea, but we have had sex a few times after our break up and well it was over a week since we did, I thought we were on the same page, friends with benefits kinda thing. After a bit I quickly found out she didn't want to have sex anymore. I told her that I thought we were on the same page with our situation, I explained to her that its not a good idea to see each other when we both aren't going for the same thing. She left and said she needed to think. I didn't stop her, I didn't cry and I didn't break down. The point of this is that when this first started I couldn't think, breath or sit still without crying and breaking down. I cried in front of her, I professed my love , I did everything and anything that you should never do. Its been 2 months since our break up(4 year relationship).. The longest period of NC between us was a week in this time period. I been refocusing my life recently. I always been a casual gym guy but now I am in there 5 days a week, working full time and started talking to other girls and hopefully by next weekend be on my first date. It still hurts, but I tell myself its over and that things are only going to get better for me. I look forward to finding a new girl who will appreciate me like my ex once did and I know that day is not far away. I think I can finally start NC indefinetly and this time for the right reasons, to close this chapter once and for all and move on with my life. I look back just a few weeks back and I am overwhelmed by the progress I have made. I know that if I can come out of the place I was in (am empty, heartaching world) than you can too!
ninjaturtles Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Welldone to you...It feels good when one makes significant improvement doesnt it? I was reading something I wrote a week after the breakup, I sounded so depressed etc...but I look back now and things are not half as bad as the way they were.. The thing with me though, is that I havent even seen this guy since we broke up...I dont mean to sound funny but anytime we had a disagreement kinda thing, and we saw, everything became perfect...its like I had this 'magical space' over him....and he kept saying..'you're soo fine'.lol....This may seem supercial but we broke up via phone and I cant help wondering what will happen when/if we see..................I keep wondering if he would have had the courage to break things off face to face..i dont think so... He was supposed to come see me,but didnt and wen str8t to Uni( like 3 hours away)....so I think he wa avoiding seeing me on purpose.. Eitherway, its all over and done with . Going to some party tonight so hopefully should be good. Sometimes i get lonely though..I wonder how you deal with that..... Anyway glad to hear you;re doing so much better and promise one thing.... When everything becomes fine OR if you two get back together..OR if you get some great news (lovelife related)..dont forget to post it up here......encouragement for others.. So many lessons learnt from this breakup......
bigheartkindsoul Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 well done, its a rough road but sounds like you are getting onto a smoother path. Good job on the gym and talking to gilrs etc. Keeping an active social life incl going to the gym and other things were key for me and now feel I can begin dating all be it slowly. Its be 4months since break up roughly and same about of NC. Well done again and good luck.
Author wowIlose Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 Sometimes i get lonely though..I wonder how you deal with that..... I felt lonely a few times but luckily I have a friends who care about me. I have also been opening up to new people and I keep busy by keeping my mind occupied. I think the mornings are still the hardest, because still I need to remind myself I am now single. Instead of thinking about what I lost I think about what I have. Like my family, my health, a bed to sleep in, food to eat and friends that would support me through anything. Once you put things in perspective things tend to become easier.
ninjaturtles Posted October 29, 2007 Posted October 29, 2007 Yuop..mornings are definitely the hardest.... I wonder how you are doing now? Are you still on NC.....and are things looking good /better now etc?
Author wowIlose Posted October 30, 2007 Author Posted October 30, 2007 Lets see, yea I was LC on weekend due to plans previously made between us but I am way more determined then ever to stay NC for as long as it takes. Oh and yes I am doing 10x better then I was say a month ago. I am still not 100 percent over her but I know I am getting there. I didn't remove her of my facebook because I don't want to look weak but at the same time I refrain from looking at her updates now to keep sane. Anywho, its going good for now, but you never know when it's gonna flip the other way. It's what I fear..
ninjaturtles Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 So you reckon my deleting my ex may look me weak....true but i guess its done now unfortunately. Sometimes you will still feel really down, i do... ps- 'ugh.. what a terrible day. I deleted her of my facebook today... took me about 30 minutes with my mouse over the delete button.. than another 15 minutes over the "are you sure button'.. Thot u delted her from facebook already..did u add her again?
Author wowIlose Posted October 30, 2007 Author Posted October 30, 2007 haha how dare you pull that up... yes I readded her at one point.. ugh.. didnt want to look like an idiot and delete her AGAIN since I told her why I deleted her the first time. Hence why it would make me look weak this time.
ninjaturtles Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 lolll....Sorry if i sounded 'FBI-like'.lol. Was just wondering thats all. I told my ex why i deleted him as well, i feel really silly now though. oh well.
heartoutside Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 For some reason I can't seem to delete my ex from my list of friends on myspace or facebook, I've been battle'n with it for days now. But what I can't figure out is why I care if she's on there?! I can't believe that I'm still holding on like this, esp after what happened this weekend and these past 2 weeks. Just delete her, but I can't....I just keep thinking about it. What sucks even more is several of my friends are her's as well, so I'll get updates from them that involve her! It does drag you down looking or seeing those updates and I've gotten to the point where I don't want to feel like this anymore, I'm tired of it. I want to feel nothing and forget about her.
ninjaturtles Posted October 30, 2007 Posted October 30, 2007 It was hard for me as well, a part of me wanted him to keep on seeing my pictures(so i was not completely erased from his life)..as shallow as that may seem.. Another part of me wanted to see if he would change his status from single to in relationship..indicating that he is with some one new.. Another part of me wanted to dissapear from his life completely, so maybe he would miss me.... Mixed feelings, but in the end i deleted it cos i need to move on...if you can prevent yourself from going on her profile, then all well and good..however updates etc.....I would hate to log into my profile and see..''aaaa is attending this' or something like that... However, I am getting to the poiint where i dont think i would breakdown if i saw his pictures etc..I am actually getting stronger and ironically, for you, it could get to a point where you may actually go to her profile but not feel ver very sad anymore....You may kind of get used to seeing her profile..I dont know how to word what im trying to say.... stay strong..been reading your threads....xxxx
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