peter333 Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Ok there is this girl that I love, but we are just really good friends. There has been some sexual tension between us, and I have kissed her and we have spent nights sleeping together (not doing anything) I asked her if we could be more than just friends but she said ‘I love you but see you as my best friend’ After that I said ‘I need to spend some time apart’. It’s been 2weeks and I’m really missing her. I want to carry on being her friend (I think, I’m really confused) but seeing her with other guys is too hard. If I do talk to her, do I have more off a chance for her changing her feelings about me? I know she likes me, but what is the best course of action?
Road Rage Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 If you are now just friends and she is dating other guys, nothing will change until something about you changes. whatever that something is that is keeping you in the friendzone. I read somewhere that sleeping with a gal and nothing sexual happening is just reinforcing the friendzone status. But LS will have someone post an exception to every rule. So, if I say you are in the friendzone and there you shall stay, someone will post about being friends for years and then becoming lovers. It`s a no win situation.... That is trying to tell you what to do. But I speculate, something about you must change. You cannot change another person. So if you are waiting for her to change her mind about you. it could be a lifetime of pain. If you are well endowed maybe do a porno movie. Then she could see what she is missing:laugh: Just joking here before the moral police chastizes me:o Usually nothing works better, if there is any hope at all, than becoming interested and having a good time with another woman. If that don`t do it, maybe it just was not there ever.
Sean0775 Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Watch yourself bro, you're dangerously close to becoming a cuddle-bitch. You're basically being used for the emotional stuff she doesn't get from the jerks she's dating while being denied the relationship that you really want. Don't be the cuddle-bitch, just walk away. Yes, it's going to hurt for a bit, but at least you'll have your dignity.
Road Rage Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Sean I read somewhere about all that recently, something about ladder theory or something like that. Man, I would take just being a cuddle b*tch at the moment:laugh: but, most of the time this is not a good thing:cool:
Sean0775 Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Yeah, I used a variation of the term before I was introduced to the ladder theory, but cuddle-bitch describes it so much better. It's a nice feeling until you realize you're perpetually stuck in that role.
Author peter333 Posted October 28, 2007 Author Posted October 28, 2007 Thanks for the reply's, hmmm they helped and sort off confused me more lol. I know this girl really well, and i know that she loves attention, She is still a virgin but some people would describe her as a cock tease. To be blunt she is very hot, and she has never had a proper boyfriend well one that lasted more than 3 weeks. I know that she likes me, but unsure if its more that a friend because of so many mixed singles, although she did say ' I see u as a best friend' (Which is pretty clear, but she seems to care about me a lot more that friends). I really like this girls but do u think i should cut my loss and move on, or could there be even the slightest chance for me to be with her.
jcster Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 Make her chase you. You don't have to go no contact on her, but be a lot less available than you have been. If she's going to change the way she views you, you have to be more precious to her. You also need to state quite clearly that you want to date her. Resist the efforts to put you in the friend zone and stick to your guns - if anything will work, this will. Good luck.
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