mike5770 Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 I finally saw the girl that drove me crazy...good and bad for the last 2 years but especially the last 5 months since I was drunk and mean to her and her friends back in June. I wondered what would happen for all of those months..would she ignore me? After all when she asked me where her boyfriend was I replied "maybe he committed suicide!" Would she still be upset like that night and tell me where to jump off of. I practiced and practiced what I would say to her for the last 150 days..some days I would apologize..some days when I was mad because I didn't get her I would say I would ignore her...but I practiced the apology mostly. I went looking for her at the bar we used to hang out in when we were friends (so much for the nc I preach like a televangelist) but have not had any sighting. Then today IT HAPPENED! I was waiting at the bus stop which was ironic because that was where we met and in a millisecond I ID'd her walking down the street. Then it happened so fast...She saw me and looked real nervous at first but she didn't ignore me and I said "Hi Michelle!" and smiled..she said Hi back and I asked if I could talk to her for a sec..the moment of truth..she looked nervous and said she was in a hurry so it was for a brief sec,,but she gave me time to talk...going good..I then said what I wanted to get off my chest for 5 months..I told her I was sorry for acting like an ******* and that I hope in time we could be friends.. She seemed more relaxed..I think for a second she thought I might call her a bitch and yell at her..but when I apologized she opened up. Then she minimized the situation by saying "what night" and then i reminded her and she said.."oh its ok you were just really drunk" I then asked her how she was doing and if she was still living in the same place and she said yes...small talk...then I told her I would be at the bar we always hung out at and maybe our paths would cross there.. and she said she had some good stories for me from her work (we got to know each other by taling at the bus stop with work stories for 2 years) So I am a man who IS AT PEACE! I was so hurt by the way I left things with her..with her hating me that night..I don't know if I will ever see her again or if she was sincere...but I do know I can now BE HER FRIEND and NOTHING MORE.. I felt the demonsa come out of me when she forgave me...I know you guys and gals..(who helped me immensly btw...wil say I am falling for her again) but in gods honest truth I am not..This girl helped save my life..I weighed 410 pounds and didn't care about anything until I saw this woman on the bus..I lost 130 pounds..work out every day...and work hard in my career...I just want to be her friend....and I hope we can be friends again....friends forever..I CAN HANDLE IT NOW! I AM AT PEACE NOW! (PICTURE LT DAN WITH NO LEGS JUMPING INTO THE WATER OFF FORRESTS BOAT AND SWIMMING...I AM AT PEACE!!!
JCD Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 I think you still love her because if you didn't you wouldn't care about expressing your inner feelings to her. The joy you feel is a hope that in future she might like you more than a friend. I'm going thru the same thing and I was fooling myself that all I wanted was to be her friend again. It doesn't work that way with the girl you're in love with.
Author mike5770 Posted October 30, 2007 Author Posted October 30, 2007 You are right..It has been a few days and the post seems silly..like i was drugged.. I also love how far i have comein the last few months..and the drug and her have worn off..I am sill glad I could end it on a good note...but I am sane again
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