dedo Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 ok, I have read a lot on here about the rules for NC. I beleive this is something that I need to do as a female dumpee; to try to get my ex back! But it states that I shouldnt have 100% NC. That once in a while.....IF he calls then I should return his call after a few days. What kinda percentage would you give for allowing some form of contact? Also, I my ex and I take a class together once a week. We didnt sign up together he just happens to be there too. I'm not quitting the class and I cant change it. So, we will have to see each other. How should I act towards him? I dont want to be rude. I think that I should have the upper hand and just be pleasant. What are my rules I should follow with these encounters? Also, IF he does email me or call me or ask me in person a question about my life....should I just be vague? How long do I continue NC, before I allow him back in...IF he wants back in?
funkybassplayer Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 forget n/c for this. if you want him, back, just tell him, regards the class......go with the flow !
Author dedo Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 sorry, I'm not going to reiterate my life story on here. I know that in my situation NC is the way to go. Are there any other people who can answer my question...please!
Trialbyfire Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 NC is not a passive-aggressive way to get them back. The term you maybe looking for is LC - low contact, where you maintain very minimal contact.
funkybassplayer Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 n/c is a way to heal your self, and not to make your ex miss you, he should do that anyway if he wants you back. all you may end up doing is making yourself anxious about waiting for a responce that may never come. Im sure most will agree to only go into no contact for you to help heal you, and nothing else. In effect you are saying im going to submit you into bieng with me. I ask you is this healty way of getting him back? If you want someone back, then talking is the beast, reconnecting, and not the opposite, but well it seems you know best and are waiting for others to agree with you that this is the way forward.
Author dedo Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 ok, since I cant quit the class....which means we will have contact. Then NC wont work. It will be LC. Can someoneone still answer my first questions baced on the LC?
Author dedo Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 Funky: I truely beleive that communication is the way to do it....none of this NC stuff. But, I have tried and tried to communicate with him. He is always receptive to talking and understanding where I am coming from. But he is treating me poorly right now, like a doormat or an option. I dont go for this kinda treatment. I know that he has feelings for me. I know that we are good together, but he doesnt see this. If I just stop trying and allow fate to take over......if we are meant to be together then he will come back...if not then he doesnt.
funkybassplayer Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 It sounds like you have tried and perhaps he just wants a friendship? going into n/c to me sounds like he wont mind as he sounds like he is not wanting what you want, thats why hes being this way. hes not treating you as a doormat, but you are feeling like one cos of the fustration of not getting what you want. But to go into n/c is only for you, and nothing else. It seems you have tryed and he wants none of it at this time, so you have to decide if its worth cutting contact to help you move forward, or stay as you are, and have the odd friendly chat. Personally i dont agree with n/c for any event, but the bottom line sounds to me like he doent want a romantic relationship with you at the moment, so you have to decide what is the best way to begin your healing process. If some1 wants to be with you they will, no matter what.
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