plainoldjared Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I have some urges to play the game, in part because I feel stuck and dont know what else to do and also because I just want to know the truth. Background: my gf of 3 yrs lied about where she was 2 wks ago. She made me wait a week to talk and then cancelled on me the day of. To this day she sticks to "I lied because I made a stupid decision and was too embarrassed to tell you that I did a drug" I think its a lie I think she was cheating because she keeps trying to place blame on me working all the time. Which I dont and havent worked more than 40 hours a week in a month.. So what I mean by play the game is I think shes trying to manipulate me into thinking that everything is my fault so that she never has to tell me what really happened. This is insane, Ive known her for a lot longer than 3 yrs and suddenly one day she decides to go crazy. She's never acted like this before, we've never argued about anything other than not seeing eachother enough and even then it was settled by spending more time together. Nothing makes sense and my only conclusion is that shes cheating. I got smashed Wednesday night because I called her and she didnt answer didnt respond and still hasnt responded to me. I dont know why I called her expecting it to be a good conversation. No contact was my plan I should have stuck to it, I totally set myself up for disapointment. I want to show up to a nightclub with another girl that I know she goes to but that sounds immature. I dont know maybe if she sees me with another girl she'll snap out it...
peace_pipe Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 Which I dont and havent worked more than 40 hours a week in a month.. Uh oh, your work is competing for her attention. Quit your job, start eating PB&J everyday, then live on the street. When she starts her shyte, be sure to remind her that you changed because you previously "worked too much." See how long you have a girlfriend then. She'll be back down the street banging the coke dealer just like she did last week. Oh yeah, make sure she sees you out with another woman. And make sure you are treating your new date like a piece of meat. Your "ex" will love you forever. Excuse the cynicism, but this situation is all too familiar. It's basic psychology - someone feels guilty for being a tramp and they make themselves feel better by projecting some illconceived blame on you. Good times!!!
Lovegod Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 A change in a woman's normal behavior is a good indication that something's up; that she's preparing for a change herself. Don't be surprised if she gives you the "I really do love you, but I'm not ready for a relationship right now" talk. When you hear that, you know your relationship is over. Don't try to talk her out of it, as it won't make her any more attracted to you. Second, if you tolerate her lies, she'll continue to take advantage of you. Lying to your partner shows a lack of respect, and should not be tolerated. You've got two good reasons to drop her. The sooner you do it, the less time you'll waste with a lying b1tch who doesn't love you or respect you.
Author plainoldjared Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 A change in a woman's normal behavior is a good indication that something's up; that she's preparing for a change herself. Don't be surprised if she gives you the "I really do love you, but I'm not ready for a relationship right now" talk. When you hear that, you know your relationship is over. Don't try to talk her out of it, as it won't make her any more attracted to you. Second, if you tolerate her lies, she'll continue to take advantage of you. Lying to your partner shows a lack of respect, and should not be tolerated. You've got two good reasons to drop her. The sooner you do it, the less time you'll waste with a lying b1tch who doesn't love you or respect you. I am completely waiting for the, "I love you but Im not ready" talk and thats fine, I can deal with that. I cant deal with her just not telling me whats wrong. I dont feel right just leaving her alone and never talking again. I am completely in love with her and I just dont know what changed. Anyhow, it probably would be pointless to show up with some random girl, she'd figure out a way to let me know it doesnt bother her and that WOULD CRUSH MY INSIDES. Whats killing me is that if its over and we wont ever be together again, how am I going to learn anything from this. How can I get over it and be a normal functioning person when I cant stop thinkgin about her...
peace_pipe Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I am completely waiting for the, "I love you but Im not ready" talk and thats fine, I can deal with that. I cant deal with her just not telling me whats wrong. I dont feel right just leaving her alone and never talking again. I am completely in love with her and I just dont know what changed. Anyhow, it probably would be pointless to show up with some random girl, she'd figure out a way to let me know it doesnt bother her and that WOULD CRUSH MY INSIDES. Whats killing me is that if its over and we wont ever be together again, how am I going to learn anything from this. How can I get over it and be a normal functioning person when I cant stop thinkgin about her... Dude, getting th truth out of a woman in this situation is RARE. Trust me, even if she does tell you the truth, you don't want to hear it anyway! Best way to get over a tramp is to get under another. You don't need it man...
Author plainoldjared Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 Dude, getting th truth out of a woman in this situation is RARE. Trust me, even if she does tell you the truth, you don't want to hear it anyway! Best way to get over a tramp is to get under another. You don't need it man... Thanks bro, I wish karma worked faster...
peace_pipe Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 Thanks bro, I wish karma worked faster... Take comfort in the fact that there is Karma and know it WILL happen.
jcster Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 Did she used to have a drug problem? She could be cheating, but she could also be using...they both cause a serious change in behavior. Good luck getting the straight story out of her in either case - it doesn't sound like she wants to admit to her mistakes.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 Did she used to have a drug problem? I hardly think doing one drug one time (which is all the OP has said) qualifies as a "drug problem".
Lovegod Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 How can I get over it and be a normal functioning person when I cant stop thinkgin about her... Do you REALLY think you'll never recover? I've done it, others on here have done it, and people related to you have done it. But no, you're the only one who can't move on. I also think it's funny how you're more willing to live in ignorance than to admit that she's a lying bytch and she doesn't deserve a great guy like you. Fortunately for you, love does not conquer all.
jcster Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I hardly think doing one drug one time (which is all the OP has said) qualifies as a "drug problem". One time that he knows of... I only brought it up because I had a boyfriend that I thought was cheating on me, and he gave me the same excuse - that he felt bad because he'd taken a drug and was "ashamed." Well, turns out he was an addict, and he had relapsed.
Author plainoldjared Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 Do you REALLY think you'll never recover? I've done it, others on here have done it, and people related to you have done it. But no, you're the only one who can't move on. I also think it's funny how you're more willing to live in ignorance than to admit that she's a lying bytch and she doesn't deserve a great guy like you. Fortunately for you, love does not conquer all. No no, Im not sticking around and I dont want to fix the relationship, I want to know WTF happened. I just want to know "how am I going to learn from this?" or rather WTF was the lesson in this? I'm trying to be logical, Ive already gone through the OMG whats wrong with me and the I hate her and Im stuck on the I want my revenge but one fact remains, I do love her and I am hurt and still in shock. Logically I figure ok its over and shes not worth fixing anything because she disregarded my feelings and she disrespected me and thats that but I still dont want to accept that this woman Ive known for so long and dated for 3 yrs and seriously and trustingly loved and respected played me like a damn fool. I am thankful that this all happened before I married her, but I really wish she would just give me the truth. I dont know why I have these ridiculous hopes, and I know that the last thing I need to do is put myself in the type of situation that might get me even more upset and then I'll not only feel cheated and deceived but STUPID. I know I'll meet a good woman and I just need time to get comfortable with the idea of not being with this girl anymore but I cant help but want to hurt her like she hurt me I dont think she has a drug problem but then again I had no idea she was a lying deceitful bytch either...
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