First day of NC add your daily thoughts and lets beat the NC disease together

[pinktiger]

Matty, how do I PM you?

[MattyTee]

Hope - Yeah it is and I'm going to smile at least 10 times tomorrow even if I don't feel like it. I'm more than happy to blog-swap if you fancy it. I tend to go a bit overboard on mine - it's all a bit fantastical

 

Pink - I think we can find ourselves addicted to a person or an idea. I think real love isn't like that. I read this interesting article about love addiction - and I realised that I really do have some issues with it. It's probably why things take so long for me.

 

You can PM by clicking My profile / CP and then on the left you should see a control panel. From there you should be able to send a message. If it doesn't work click on edit options on the control panel and see if you have the "Enable Private Messaging" checked. If all else fails post here again and I'll let you have my email or something

[hopeforlove243]

Hi Matty, "I'm going to smile at least 10 times tomorrow even if I don't feel like it", that is really good, I am going to make that one of my goal for tomorrow

[MattyTee]

Pink, just in case you miss that other post my email is

 

mjctaylor at btopenworld.com (without the spaces and using @ instead of at)

 

Hope - I managed one already and I meant it too!

[hopeforlove243]

Hi Matty, I managed to have several smiles today, yet when i got into my car to go home, I just couldn't stop crying... it has been my daily routing now, non-stop crying while driving I am still tempted to call him

 

Anyway, I found several good posting on LS today. want to share with everyone.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=56954&page=1

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t54435/

[alwayshurt]

Hi Matty, I managed to have several smiles today, yet when i got into my car to go home, I just couldn't stop crying... it has been my daily routing now, non-stop crying while driving I am still tempted to call him

 

Anyway, I found several good posting on LS today. want to share with everyone.

 

 

good that you could smile today.

i, too, when I drive home soemtime I feel like crying, but my proud does not let me. Sometime, i wish I could die instead and put an end to this unbearable pain.

But well, this is life and I have to deal with what it brings me everyday. I always wish that tomorrow is better, but everyday brings me only more pain because she is not with me anymore. I just would like to disappear!

[hopeforlove243]

Hi Alwayshurt, I understand what you mean 'i wish I could die instead and put an end to this unbearable pain'. I feel the same way sometimes, then I thought about my parents, I'd rather go through this pain myself instead of breaking their hearts.

We have to hang in there, take it one day at a time.

[Saxis]

Everyday..... while driving home. That's when I think about her. Not sure if it's that I still expect and anticipate the kiss when I walk in the door, or that I know my house will be empty, but I think about her. Never fails. I just wish it would end.... It's getting so much easier now, but I'm not quite there yet....

[bellabella]

Hey everyone

 

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for such a useful thread. I have been reading everyone's messages and it's so helpful to realise that all my feelings are normal.

 

My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me just over a week ago as he felt the passion had gone and he wasn't sure we would end up together but felt he would know by now if i was "the one". We lived together and can't move out for 2 months, but we hardly see each other as i am staying away and he goes away when i have to be at the flat. We had holidays booked, one over Christmas and New Year, we are both going on the flights but not gonig to be together once we're there. I am so disappointed he doesn;t want to try to make it work, especially since we haven't fallen out and he says he still loves me, but doesn't think he's in love anymore (that old chestnut!). Now he's hurt me this much, i don;t want him back as I want someone who loves me like i love them, it;s just so hard. I'm doing my best to do NC, apart from sorting out all the paperwork that goes with breaking up a relationship in which we share assets/bank accounts etc. Your messages have all been comforting as you all know how it feels.

 

To make it worse, one set of my friends got married on Sat and another set got engaged the same day! I am really happy for them, jsut so jealous!

 

Good luck everyone x

[Bosiell]

Hi Bella

Firstly to say I am sorry for the situation you are in. It is very sad to see a relationship end after so long, best wishes to you. I have read however from your post that you seem already to have a very good attitude, this will help immensley in the tough times you will face for a while now. Keep yourself on the forums, there is some very good advice and support here, and you can vent your emotions as much as you like. Always try and rememeber you are not alone with this.

 

Take care x

[hopeforlove243]

Everyday..... while driving home. That's when I think about her. Not sure if it's that I still expect and anticipate the kiss when I walk in the door, or that I know my house will be empty, but I think about her. Never fails. I just wish it would end.... It's getting so much easier now, but I'm not quite there yet....

 

Oh man, I thought it must be just me going crazy while driving home, can't stop think about him can't stop crying, I used to go to his house after work, we sometimes even carpool, he would drop me off in the morning and pick me up after work, and now, I am heading back to my house alone :( I miss him so much, I miss our cat too!

[MattyTee]

*hugs*

 

I don't drive, but I hate the walk home just as much!

[bigheartkindsoul]

These thoughts do let up, I promise, I used to be just like that, think while driving, ok when at my destination having fun, thinking again on the drive home. Put on some great tunes, call up a mate on the phone.

 

but in the end you do not get these thoughts as much - from the worlds worst over thinker, just ask her friends!!

[Heidimarie1977]

my boyfriend of 3 1/2 months broke up with me a month ago with the explanation of "he needs to make progress in his life and he doesn't have time for me right now". I was DEVASTATED because I really cared for him and was falling for him so hard...We did not speak or see each other for the first two weeks with the exception of me leaving him a letter to tell him my feelings. Problem is his roomate works at the bar I work at and so he often has to come in to pick him up and whatever so two weeks in I went to have a drink and he was there...after a half hour or so he came over and we went out to talk and I felt so much better after...I felt like I got my questions answered, like our break up really wasn't about "me", etc . so i thought, "okay, we can be friends"...hung out that night, texted a bit that week (I was the text "initiator") saw each other a few times at my work, then I realized it was doing me more harm than good...I still care for him and seeing him and having him act different (un-feeling, distant, etc) was hurting me so I asked him (in so many words) not to come in to my work (via text)...well a week went by and nothing so I was glad...feeling better about being away from him, then last friday he came in and then again the other night....I try to be "fine" with him when he's there but it kills me when I go home to my lonely apartment where we used to spend all our time together...just don't know why he can't just wait for his roommate outside or atleast make sure I'm not there before he comes in...so I texted him last night after too many beers a confessional of my feelings (so mad at myself for being so pathetic) and then regretting it sent him another text today asking him to try to not come to my work when he knows I'm going to be there....so tomorrow will officially be first day of NC and I want to make it happen, I need to for my own sanity but I am afraid he is going to ignore my request and come in to work this friday and I'll have to see him again and feel all crappy all over again...he claims that he doesn't want to hurt me or make me sad intentionally but how can he not know that making me see him (i'm at work...can't leave obviously) over and over again is going to make this breakup so much harder on me and make it take so much longer to get over....why is he doing this when I just want to try to forget him and the only way to do that is to not see him? I addition, I don't believe his reason for our breakup at this point, I've come to suspect there is something much more going on with him, think he is using drugs (he did in the past previous to us getting together) so I worry about him and this makes it even harder for me to stay away and not contact him...want to make sure he's okay but know NC is best for me....so confused and hurt...

[Heidimarie1977]

wish me luck on NC

[mikesinclair]

Heidimarie, good luck...

im on day 8 now and im missing her badly, i just want to call and say hi, but then i think if she was missing me as much she would have got in contact... NC is a horrible situation and a real headf*ck...

My situation is worse because money is owed to her and i have emailed her for the bank details ( last point of contact ) and no reply.. so what do i do, Not pay her ??? or do i email again or txt and ask for them

then the counter is set back to zero.

please advise...

[MattyTee]

Hey Mike,

 

Speaking from experience here I made the mistake of getting back in contact too soon and it broke my heart all over again Just take some space for yourself, NC might be a tough one but the alternative really isn't any better. Just let her contact you about the money. You've done all you can.

 

Keep strong bro

 

Heidi - good luck!

[mikesinclair]

thnx Matty I know you're right, do you use MSN, must be better having a chat live and sorting our heads out.. if fact thats what all of us should do, all sign in and chat to each other. If our partners didnt mess our heads up we would never have been on here to meet all these cool ppl.

who agrees ?

[MattyTee]

I'm more than happy to chat with folks - although I deleted my MSN account because of the ex It was breaking my heart that I'd log in and she'd be set as 'busy' for 4 hours talking to the 'other' guy - never once said anything to me, despite us being 'friends'.

 

My new MSN which I am more than happy for anyone here to message me on is mjctaylor at hotmail.com.

 

I'm 6'2" and built like a tank so no stalkers

[Heidimarie1977]

well unfortunately he has now sent me a text which I felt I had to reply to...says he can't understand how in the letter I wrote him the day after we broke up I said I wanted to at some point be friends and go have a beer with him or whatever and now I am saying I don't want to see him at all...says he doesn't understand where I'm coming from....I'm sorta irritated cuz it's like he wants his cake and to eat it too....doesn't he realize he broke my heart and I need time to heal - away from him - I can't go from being girlfriend one week to "buddy" the next....is this really SO hard to understand?...very frustrated!

[sedgwick]

It's been nine weeks of NC for me. It's not getting much easier. I still think of him every second of every day, but I just tell myself that he doesn't want anything to do with me; I'm not good enough for him. I think of how embarrassed I'd be if I called and he didn't remember me. I'm sure that after nine weeks he's forgotten I exist, and if I called and had to remind him, "I was your girlfriend for a year," it would be devastating. So I just try to think of it like that, and to remember that I am not good enough to be a part of his life. I love him so much that I don't want to bother him by making him associate with the likes of me.

[Amy22]

Heidi, I think he is playing games. What did you tell him about why you don't want to be friends anymore? Do you think he got the hint? I think the fact that he comes into your work when you have asked him several times not to is rude. Do you think he is doing it because he knows that it makes it hard for you? It isn't that hard to just wait outside. I wouldn't make eye contact or talk to him when he comes in. I would stop telling him not to come in because he isn't listening. I think no response out of you will show him you don't care and have moved on. Be strong.

[Amy22]

sedgwick, how awesome, nine weeks is a long time. You should be proud of yourself, good job. Keep up the good work and telling yourself you deserve better.

[sedgwick]

Amy, thank you, it's so hard. I miss him so much. I have no doubt that he has forgotten I ever existed; he told me I was the best girlfriend he'd ever had, but then the morning he was to leave on tour for three months he dumped me completely out of nowhere. Everything I thought was true during the happiest year of my life was a total lie. I don't deserve better; I don't even deserve him. I wish I had. He broke up with me because I'm not a musician like he is, I'm just a writer and a dancer, and I have really been hating myself ever since for the fact that my talents are not as good or important as his. I would give anything in the world to be a musician, but oh well. It wouldn't do any good at this point. He was too good-looking for me, too talented, too everything. I wish I'd listened to the voice in my head at the very beginning that was screaming HE'S OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE, but I didn't. This is the consequence. It sucks; from now on I have vowed to remember that love is for other people but not allow myself to EVER think it's for me. Maybe I'll never get hurt again that way, y'know?

[Rowen]

No one forgets about you completely.. he will have moments where he thinks about you.

 

I was talking to my brother about this last night. He is 28, married for four years and we were talking about my breakup and he said he still thinks of his gf from first year university when he was 18, something will smell and hel think of her etc.

 

I think about my ex's and what could have been still.. dont dwell but think sometimes.

 

As for me.. im in day 6 of NC ... again............ She usualy contacts me every week at this time.. so wel see.