First day of NC add your daily thoughts and lets beat the NC disease together

[minerva63]

so another day of no contact. whew.

 

even though i didn't want to, i went out last night with a group of friends and actually enjoyed myself for a little bit. then the conversation turned to cheating husbands and married men who lie about being single.

 

no one there knew the details about my break up. i wanted to crawl under the table. it was all i could do not to run to the restroom and lose it. i just can't seem to get away from it.

[mikesinclair]

Monday will be a week of NC

i had a really realistic dream last night about her and it was sooo horrible to wake up and realise it was a dream.

My brain is playing tricks on me, i constantly picture her with other men and it turns my stomach.

But, Im not talking about her as much now and it does seem to be gettin easier.

I havent received a reply from my email sent last week. so.... its time to move on

 

sorry guys not really a great post, just thought i would update.

but i agree with the posts i have read, it becomes an addiction and you want to break NC, and evey day you dont its a great acheivement, a bit like when i quit smoking.... sad i know

[MattyTee]

I'm a bad, bad boy!

 

I've been breaking NC all over the place. She's just reacting angrily and so on. I just wanted to say goodbye. She's treating me like I'm total crap and it's making me sad

[Amy22]

minerva63, I am glad you went out. That stinks the conversation went that route. I hope it didn't ruin your evening though. I hate going out and seeing happy couples. Makes me sick. Isn't that sad and selfish?

 

mikesinclair, dreams suck. It always leaves you feeling so sad and empty. I guess we can look forward to one day not having them. That is good you are not talking about her as much now. I am glad you gave an update.

 

Mattytee, doesn't it make you feel worse when they treat you ike crap. I don't know if they don't realize how hurtful they are when they do that or if they just don't care. Try to use that not to contact her. Think about how angry she gets and how hateful she is and know you are better off just not doing it. I know how hard it is but you don't deserve to be treated like that.

 

I am so mad at my ex right now. We talked a couple times last week and he was fine and happy and wanted to talk. Well I asked him to do me one favor and cancel the cable since it is in his name. Do you think he could do it, No. He is to busy being hung over and parting. Drives me crazy that throughout the week he talks to me but on the weekends he is to busy. Just shows how important I am to him.

[minerva63]

amy22

how long have you been broken up?

i know its hard when you shouldn't talk to them but you have all of those shared things to deal with. who left what at who's house, bills, etc. it's like dealing with the wreckage of an accident.

do you think he's trying to hurt you by "showing" you that he's over you? what are your conversations like during the week?

[Amy22]

minerva63. He moved to las vegas 2 months ago and I was suppose to follow and put my condo on the market. Well he then decided he was confused. Was afriad I would hate it and he wasn't ready for the commitment. He also stated he was really stressed starting this new job and going now where. I decided we would give it more time. I wouldn't move down right away. But while he is there he was treating me like crap. Not calling. Promising to do things and then not doing them. And on the weekends he would rarely call. If he did he was always hung over and puking. And I enjoy going out and partying but not thur-sat like he has been doing. I decided the best thing was to end the relationship and that was 2 weeks ago. The first week he texted me once. Last week he texted me and says he wants me to call him like I use to. I did once. But obviously nothing changed because this weekend he has shown me I am still the same place I used to be in his prorities. I am sure he won't call for several days now because he promised me he would cancel the cable today and didn't. He says he doesn't want us to be apart, he wants us to be togther but his actions show different. Everything else is in my name but the cable because they had a promotion if you were a new customer. But I was use to him helping me pay for stuff.

[MattyTee]

Mattytee, doesn't it make you feel worse when they treat you ike crap. I don't know if they don't realize how hurtful they are when they do that or if they just don't care. Try to use that not to contact her. Think about how angry she gets and how hateful she is and know you are better off just not doing it. I know how hard it is but you don't deserve to be treated like that.

 

It's horrible Amy! I don't know what it is, seemingly normal, caring, decent people turn into absolute arses. What's worse is every single time it gets turned around and it's ME that is being wrong! I'm making her angry or I'm emotionally manipulating her! I sat and listened to her say how hard this last few weeks have been on her ... guess why? Because a guy she met on a dating site has a girlfriend and was only looking for friends and she really likes him!!!!

 

Ahhhhhh, I feel so bad today

[MattyTee]

I wanted to add a self-affirming statement.

 

I DO DESERVE BETTER!!!

 

So does every other poor heartbroken sod here!

[minerva63]

Amy22

 

god, how awful. you just know he had doubts all that time, letting you make plans for the future, knowing it was all in vain.

 

was he partying that heavily before he moved out there?

[Amy22]

minerva63, yeah he knew before he left and still let me tell my job and put the house on the market.

 

He didn't party that much living up here. He says his life has changed.

 

I don't think he will ever want me to move out there, but for some reason he has got to keep me here and keeps talking to me. I don't see what he is gaining from it. I need to just be strong and stop giving him the option to call me.

[Amy22]

Because a guy she met on a dating site has a girlfriend and was only looking for friends and she really likes him!!!!

 

That is really sad. Sounds like that girl has a rough life. Wonder how she likes being screwed over and treated like crap. Maybe she should open her eyes and see how she has treated you. I believe that what goes around comes around.

[mikesinclair]

hi Guys

well another day done,

No reply to my email, and i was starting to think she prob hasnt read it cos i havent seen her on msn ( unblcked )

but i did receive and email sayin she has added me as a friend on facebook after i had deleted her.. ( not really sure how facebook works, but i assume she realises i wasnt on her friends list )

Had some other personal probs to deal with this week too so making it hard,

Got a new job, not sure if i like it, found a new place to move in to today, only to be told i cant for anothet 2 weeks.. so its sleeping all over london and back at my parents for the weekend.

Im sure someting goods gonna come out of all this

Amy22, thnx for the support. And glad to hear you are sorting ur head out.

Im here for advice if u need.

MattyTee, thats what im fearing the most, so thats why the NC is goin to be good now, cos i wont handle it if i know she is tryin or seeing someone else. Even tho i think it all the time.

29 years old and im like a broken hearted teenager.. LOL

[sedgwick]

It's been two months and six days. I still want to talk to him every minute, but I haven't. His phone number and email address are blocked. I have to keep on with this until I'm over him. It's horrible, but oh well, what can you do? I hope there's a time when he's not constantly on my mind, every second of every day.

[Amy22]

mikesinclair, How weird she added you to her facebook. Why do they have to add confusion to the pain. That is awesome that you are working on your life. You should be proud of yourself. It is hard to keep going when you are sad.

 

sedgwick, that is awesome. 2 and 6 days is a long time. Way to go. And blocking him is huge. Can you give some advice to some of us that are struggling? How did you do it? There will come a time you won't think of him every second and I hope it comes soon for you. You have done a lot of things to help yourself.

[hopeforlove243]

I wanted to call my ex so badly, I don't know how I can go through today! can't believe that I actually had some friends over last night and had a good time, now I am back to my low point again

[Amy22]

hopeforlove243, It is like a roller coaster one day is good and the next is bad. Don't do anything you will regret like calling. Post here. There are so many people looking for advice. It will keep you busy and reading the threads and deciding how to respond will stop you from thinking about your ex for a few minutes.

[hopeforlove243]

Hi Amy, thank you for your support. I have spent countless hours on LS, sometimes it does help, but sometimes it even make me more depressed, unfortunately, today is one of those days I guess.

[MattyTee]

Hey Hope,

 

I know exactly how you feel. I find that during those times if I go for a walk or just get my body moving I feel better. I still feel sad and I still spend time thinking but it helps to get out and about. I also find writing (like a journal) to be very therapeutic. You might surprise yourself with stuff you come up with - if you just let it flow and write any old junk down

 

*hugs*

[pinktiger]

matty, how are you? it will be 4 weeks for me tomorrow. It is still as hard as the first day. I want to forget about him but instead I think about him every minute. I have no energy to do anything. I just want to stay in the bed and cry. Why? after 4 weeks, how come I can not recover?

[MattyTee]

Hey Pink *hugs*

 

I just let myself have a day in bed today. Day off, cold outside, feeling sad ... so I thought why not. I feel more rested but sad.

 

I broke my no-contact and then learnt quite a bit about my ex's feelings. I heard the words that I never wanted to hear yesterday "I don't love you any more", along with a whole bunch of other stuff and so I told her I needed to walk away, that I couldn't be there as a friend.

 

So, this is day 1 again for me.

 

As Marty says in another post here, it will take the time it takes. Everyone is different and the processes we go through may be similar but are also very different. I really feel for you Pink, I know exactly what you are going through. I used to lie in bed and would literally say out loud "Leave me alone" to the thoughts of her that kept coming. Eventually, they did for a while

 

Make sure you go through the emotions, make sure you let yourself feel how you feel. Don't be hard on yourself because it is taking time. Try and focus some love back to you. You are the most important person right now! Maybe even say that to yourself a few times, they say "Fake it til you make it". If you can, try and get some exercise, the movement will help.

 

If you want to talk Pink or read a little about what I've been going through you can send me a PM, I've kept an online journal.

[minerva63]

Amy22

 

i can't believe he would let you quit your job knowing that. were you able to get your job back?

 

it never ceases to amaze me what kind of pain we can inflict on one another when in a "romantic" relationship.

 

you're doing unbelievably well given all that.

[hopeforlove243]

Hey Hope,

 

I know exactely how you feel. I find that during those times if I go for a walk or just get my body moving I feel better. I still feel sad and I still spend time thinking but it helps to get out and about. I also find writing (like a journal) to be very therapeutic. You might surprise yourself with stuff you come up with - if you just let it flow and write any old junk down

 

*hugs*

 

Hi Matty, thanks for the message, are you doing better than yesterday? I went out for a walk today, the whole time I was crying, glad it was cold and drizzling outside, I only run into a few people on the trail, but you can tell how sad I am today. Hard to believe I was actually happy last night hanging out with some of my friends.

[MattyTee]

Aww hope, I'm sorry *hugs*

 

I've been sort of numb today. I had a good old cry earlier when my sister came over. She sat here for a while and then turned to me with tears in her eyes and said "It's quiet here without Anisa". We had a big hug and a good old cry, my sister had always wanted to be closer with my ex - she loved her very much too.

 

I've had a good old cry too. I went out a little while back (past midnight here) and walked for a while. It's foggy out and I didn't meet anyone. I did pop into a shop but no one noticed that I'd been crying

 

I'm sitting here at 1.20am trying to write my blog now - but finding myself uninspired.

 

And you'll have more happy times to come

[hopeforlove243]

Hi Matty, at least tomorrow is another day, that is what I am telling myself now, it is only 6pm here, I still have a long night to pass before tomorrow comes, and I have to put up a brave face to go to work.

BTW, I forgot to mention that I do have a blog where I write down my thought/feelings, I try not to go back read what I wrote though

Hang in there, brother. Hugs to you too.

[pinktiger]

Yes, Love is an addiction. This is our problem. We can not wean from the person we love even though he/she does not love us any more.

 

We hold on to so called friendship afterward to hope a miracle will happen and he/she will come back to us.

 

The truth is they rarely do. They left for a reason. They just won't be there for us.

 

We can cry, we can be angry, we can be depressed. However, we can not get their heart back.

 

We have to run without looking back...