dt311unity Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 My girl and I have been together for 3 1/2 yrs. We were engaged and then back in June she decided she needed a break. We have a house together and she ended up coming back to me a few weeks later. It was never really a break I guess because we still lived and slept together. We are back together now and things are going good for the most part. Right before she wanted a break she went to a friends place a few hours out of town. I have a buddy that goes to school there also. I found out that she ended up staying in the same bed with a guy that night. I heard this from my buddy and then saw a message on my computer that she left open too. I confronted her about it and she said that nothing happened and they just were talking and she didn't want to sleep on the floor. My buddy had a girlfriend at that time that was at the party with her and she walked in the next morning and my girlfriend/fiance at the time had her clothes all on she said. Ever since then I have had a hard time trusting her. When we started dating each other she had a boyfriend at the time and left him for me. She always had said that she would tell me if she ever cheated but I don't know if I can trust that. That whole senario above was a huge dissapointment. I don't care if they didn't even do anything but if you have a fiance you shouldn't even think about spending the night in someone elses bed period. It's just disrespectful. She always says she never did anything so don't worry about it. I tell her that she shouldn't even put herself in a situation like that where I would have to question her or hear things from different people. I still don't trust her as much because of this. It's really hard because most of her friends are guys. She doesn't really get along with girls that much so most of her friends are guys. I know she has lied to me before about going to meet a girlfriend for lunch or dinner and she is actually hanging out with someone else. I installed a keylogger on my lap top so I can see what she does on my computer. I did this after we got back together. I have way to much time and money invested into this relationship to be played for a fool. I just feel bad that I can't trust her like I used to. Any suggestions?
Lovegod Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I don't care if they didn't even do anything but if you have a fiance you shouldn't even think about spending the night in someone elses bed period. But that's what's going on in your mind. She cleared her conscience when she said we needed a break. You gave her the convenience of having her cake and eating it too. She had a place to live, and she had her fun with another dude. You're the one who allowed her to continue living with you while she was "on a break". It's just disrespectful. The only one who's disrespecting you is yourself. This woman doesn't love you, but you're allowing her to walk and wipe her ass all over you. I installed a keylogger on my lap top so I can see what she does on my computer. If it's this ****ing bad, you need to kick her out of your life, sell the house if you need to, and start fresh. That is unless you enjoy torture and living in your own personal hell. I have way to much time and money invested into this relationship to be played for a fool. Time and money is NOTHING when it comes to your personal happiness. You can be broke and old, but be happier than a pig in 5hit because you're not getting screwed around by a woman who doesn't love you.
Author dt311unity Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 I understand where you are coming from. I just don't get why she can't just tell me the truth. I always tell her that all I want is the truth about everything even if it hurts. I don't get it. Why can't people just be honest? I don't know, maybe I'm just paranoid from what happened before. I just have this uneasy feeling about her that I didn't have before. Usually I go with my gut instinct on things, which would be to leave her because I don't trust her, but I feel like I need to have proof before I can make that choice. How do I work on making that feeling go away?
Lovegod Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I just don't get why she can't just tell me the truth. I do. She's protecting her feelings, and she's trying not to hurt yours. They try to keep everyone's feelings calm, slow to change, and from reaching extreme levels. How do I work on making that feeling go away? Easy. Kick her out. I feel like I need to have proof before I can make that choice. Proof of what? You've indicated that you're already having problems with her since she "needed a break". People in healthy relationships don't need to take breaks. People who are in love with their s/o don't sleep with other guys, sex or no sex. People who have respect for their s/o's don't lie to them. You've already got a few reasons. How many more do you need? Does she need to contract an STD and give it to you before you realize it's a bad idea to stay with her? And then lie and tell you that you must have got it from somewhere else?
Recommended Posts