lexi29 Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 So three weeks ago my bf of 3 yrs left me suddenly. he left me for another woman he'd been talking to (an ex of his) I was confused and devastated. the first week couldn't eat. sleep, could barely breathe. Cried all the time. 2nd week was a little better but he ruined that by calling me and telling me he was thinking about me. Then another week of no contact (my idea) and some therapy I'm finally not crying every day. I still have dreams about him and still miss him and his son though. I was going to send his son a Halloween card today. Well last night out of the blue my ex calls me. His girlfriend was out getting him something for dinner. He calls to see how I am and wants to know if I'm dating anyone yet. He said he and the new girlfriend aren't clicking. said she isn't what he expected and she's not like he remembered (duh! they dated when he was 15 and he's 30 now so yeah I'm sure they both changed!) He said he doesn't like having sex with her and has been watching the porn dvd I bought him a lot. He also said his son found my picture the other night and he cant' stop looking at it. said he misses me. Asked if I missed him at all. I should have lied but I told him yes, I miss him and his son both. Funny thing was I went to see my counselor yesterday adn she asked what would I do if he called and wanted me back" I laughed and told her that would never happen becuase he is already dating someone new. well at the end of the call last night he said "miss you" which is what we always used to say when we were dating. I got off the phone and cried, but I was happy too. Glad that he's disastified with the new girl after only 3 weeks!!! Serves her right. But sad that he threw our 3 year relationship away like garbage for someone who cant' even hold his interest for 3 whole weeks!! I figured he called just for an ego boost or cause things weren't going well with the new girl. Well this morning I had threatening messages from his girlfirend on my cell phone. She was telling me to never talk to him again and that "you just don't know when to leave them alone!!" and told me I have no right to talk to him. I guess she found out he called me last night. I sent her a text saying I don't know what she's talking about. Then I called him and told him to tell her to lose my #. He said he broke up with her because he just didn't have feelings for her adn she wasn't what he expected and that she wanted to move too fast. He said he really misses me. Asked me to go trick or treating with him and his son next week. he didn't ask me to get back together but he did ask if I have feelings for anyone else yet. I think he wants me back and I'd love to see him. I don't think we'd work out long term but would be nice just to see him, talk to him, see what happens. I don't want to get my hopes up but it seems he might be heading toward a reconciliation. I'm scared because I was actually trying really hard to get over him and if this gets messed up its going to be worse then before. I asked him if he missed me (today) and he texted back "Hell yes!!" What should I do??
curiousnycgirl Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 You need to take a VERY slowly! He has broken the most fundamental thing in all relationships - trust. If he (or you) expect that trust to still be there you are both sadly mistaken. It certainly sounds like he wants you back, and frankly it sounds like part of you wants that too. But you need to seriously think about the ramifications of this, not just for you but most especially for his son (whom he does not appear to consider at all). Perhaps you can start out as friends, but with very limited contact. Go trick or treating, and then take a break. Have dinner, with both him and his son, and then another break. Do not go back to seeing them every day. Discuss this with your therapist, and PLEASE keep seeing your therapist. You need it now more than ever. I wish you both (you and his son, so far I still think he is a jerk) all the best!
Author lexi29 Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 I know, I am most upset how he doesn't take his son's feelings into account. I mean he was very attached to me and then suddenly I'm gone and his dad moves a new woman in (well she was spending the night there several times a week) adn then now she's gone (maybe). Yes, I do plan to take it very very slowly. Just start out as friends. It would be a few months before I could start staying with him again and be in a real relationship. I'm not even sure if I want him back. I mean I miss him and would love to see him. Would even enjoy sleeping with him again a few times. Would love to see his son. but I'm not really sure I want to be in a relationship again. I think mostly I'm so happy that his new girlfriend didn't last!! I mean he was with me for 3 years before he got bored or whatever it was and it only took him three WEEKS to get tired of her. So she thought she was so special that she "stole" him from me. And she was all high and mighty telling me that I'm not allowed to ever contact his son or him etc. Sorry to tell her that it takes a guy a little bit of time to get over someone he's been with for 3 years and she can't just expect him to pretend he never met me. Even if they get back together she now knows that HE called me and told me he misses me etc. (I told her) I do plan to keep seeing the counselor because I have some tough decisions ahead of me.,
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