abandoned Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I will admit that I specifically came looking for a new site to join for this reason, so I hope no one minds that I have come along. Now, by this family, I mean my biological father, step-mother and some siblings, one of whom I have never even met! I had some contact when I was yonger (think, elementary school age) then one day I was dropped off and never heard from them again. It started early this summer. He had put out a classified ad in a search website. A friend had found the ad, told me, then went and e-mail him telling him she told me about the ad! Anyways, based on many factors, I decided to not make any contact at all (even to reply to the ad) and ignored it. And didn't regret the decision for a second. Then, last week I get a message from them on my website. And they have put yet another ad out! I realized at this point I have to reply, so I sent them a message indicating I desired no contact with any of them. I did get a reply back, saying my wishes would be respected, but he couldn't resist getting a few thoughts in there that are now bugging me. I know it doesn't really sound like I have a point. Seems done right? Well, I guess that's the problem, it isn't, not in my head anyways. And talking with friends and family hasn't been bad, but they just don't get it, and I so just want to yell and scream about it to people that don't know me at all, if that makes any sense, and is okay. I am sorry if this was long and crazy, I appreciate you taking the time to read it.
Enema Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 What are the "thoughts in there that are now bugging me" ?
Author abandoned Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 Just some things that were said in the e-mail, which were not true, and not fair, and so about him blaming everthing and everyone but himself for walking away. I am very much a truthful person, so I feel the need to reply and set the record straight, but I wont because it would be a waste of time.
Author abandoned Posted October 28, 2007 Author Posted October 28, 2007 And I hate how it is bugging me so much. I honestly never thought about any of them, until now. I am just frustrated with the whole thing, and don't have anyone to talk to.
Enema Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 If it was me, I don't think I would bother responding. He may have even put those little things in there knowing that they'd jab you into a reply. I would think that he lost any chance to have me in his life that day I was abandoned. That said, my step-brother recently met up with his estranged mother of 30 years as he wanted to hear from the horses mouth exactly what happened. There's no reason you can't do as he (my brother) did and decide down the track that you don't really want anything to do with them.
Author abandoned Posted October 29, 2007 Author Posted October 29, 2007 That said, my step-brother recently met up with his estranged mother of 30 years as he wanted to hear from the horses mouth exactly what happened. There's no reason you can't do as he (my brother) did and decide down the track that you don't really want anything to do with them. Well, the thing is, I never really needed/wanted any answers before. I really honestly never gave any of them much thought until now, and I am mad about that because all this crap has been forced into my head, making me think about stuff I never thought about before! Some people desire to look for their family years later, and reconnect. This is not the case for me. I was the one that was left behind so you would think I would get the choice as to if/when I would want contact, but apparently not. I guess by not activly looking for them (especially with it being so easy to find people with the internet) that wasn't a good enough hint that I didn't want to contact them, so they decided to take that control away from me? And nothing has really changed, I still don't want contact, and I still don't need any answers because I really don't care, and it wont change anything, even though they feel it will. BUT, it's been on my mind constantly the last few days, as have peoples thoughts and opinions, and it has made me think a lot. And I really don't have a huge outlet cause my family now is rather biased, lol, so I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to that can look at it in a constructive way. Enema - thanks for replying to me, at least I have found one person who will listen!
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