finallyhappyme Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I'm kind of new here and so I wasn't sure if I should post this under dating or breaking up? But either way I have a question. Now that I have broken up with my bf of three years and I have been with my new guy I have come to realize that the original reason I broke up with him is not the real reason why. I thought for sure I was leaving him for one thing, but after comparing I have realized the real reason why. And that reason could be summed up into one word 'CONTEMPT' I realized that he would always put me down and make me feel as if I wasn't good enough. While in the relationship I slowly started to lose myself and I could not figure out why. I was doubting myself not only in life but at work. I stopped wearing sexy clothing, I stopped doing my hair, I stopped thinking I was good enough and I couldn't figure out why until now. His friends and family always complained that since he was young he was a sore loser and thought he was better than everyone. He always had to win and if he didn't it was someone else's fault. And he always had to have the last word. I thought he was not that way with me but I have come to realize I was blind. He was worse with me! He always doubted me. If i told him something he could never take it for what it was and had to cross check what I said with 5 different people and then search it on yahoo. Only to say in the end that I was right 'but' . With him there was always a 'But'. Also he would never really apologize. It was always I'm sorry but you know how I am, or I'm sorry but you made me act that way. Little by little this really turned me off. What sucks was that he was perfect in all other things. I got roses and poems and he treated me very well. Our sex life eventually started to suffer and now I know why. Little by little that part of his personality turned me off and I just couldn't make love to man that thought he was GOD. Anyways, In the end my question is this: He wants to meet up to just talk about things. Talk about the break up and have some closure with us. Should I tell him this? I don't want him to think I'm attacking him and a HUGE part of me thinks that even if i tell him he will brush it off 'because he knows better' so I'm not sure? I just really want him to find happiness in the future and I think telling him would benefit him in his future relationships. Or should I just let it go and let him figure it out on his own?
birdie Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 you probably should have that discussion because you spent 3 years with him overall. make sure you look after yourself and it's done in a way that doesn't upset you too much. don't allow it to turn into some argument but if he dismisses everything to say then maybe it will just make it easier for you to move on because he will prove you right
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