acmeduck Posted May 8, 2003 Posted May 8, 2003 I fell in love with a girl. She had a boyfriend, and I tried to be friends with her -- participate in the same activity, having small talks or so. But the more I tried, the more she was upset and distant. No matter how much I care, her self-protection always took precedence. (I don't mean to interfere at all, I just want to be a friend of yours!) It seems like I scare off everyone I talk to, and put them in self-protection mode, but that's because I'm shy. After all, my life has never been about interpersonal relationships, and it will probably never be... for some people, love comes by effortlessly-- but not me.
jessicakicksbut Posted May 8, 2003 Posted May 8, 2003 Don't take it personally, some girls don't like to have "guy" friends besides their boyfriends, maybe because their guy would get jealous, they are not interested in hanging out with any other guys besides their boyfriends, or they may be afraid in case the temptation to cheat is there...who knows???
Tony T Posted May 8, 2003 Posted May 8, 2003 YOU WRITE: "I fell in love with a girl. She had a boyfriend, and I tried to be friends with her..." DUH!!! Women are way more intelligent than you give them credit for. And most females have intuition far better than any psychic friend you may have ever paid $3.99 a minute to speak to. This lady knew you were in love with her and there was no way she was going to hang with you so you could fall deeper and get hurt....and there was no way she was going to be disloyal to her boyfriend by entertaining a guy who was interested in her....but said he only "wanted to be her friend." (What a crock!) No woman wants to hear this "I just want to be friends" crap from some dude who is obviously after her romantically. That really pisses them off royally. Forget this lady. She's a wonderful, loyal woman who has your best interests at heart by having little to do with you...trust me. I'm sure there's nothing in the world she wants more than for you to find a nice, single lady to fall for and that's what you should do. At least that would get you out of her hair. You've basically become an annoyance to her and why you would want to be that to somebody is beyond my comprehension. You need to learn you can't put stuff over on a woman, espeically when you are as obvious as you are. And it is extremely cruel to yourself to hang around with a lady you love who has absolutely no interest in you and a boyfriend to boot. It's just not being nice to yourself. If you don't change your approach to dating, you're going to find more and more women who will become upset and distant as you advance on them. Back off and try a more subtle approach...with ladies who are unattached. If I was this lady's boyfriend, I'd be more than just a little irritated at your ballsiness.
Author acmeduck Posted May 8, 2003 Author Posted May 8, 2003 Yes, I should have left her earlier. The reason I didn't do that is that she attends a weekly social event which is my only place to get social (without it, I'd have zero social life) and I didn't want to stop going there. But I think I will leave anyway, and find somewhere else to hang around. Goodbye pretty girl.
NEONINK Posted May 8, 2003 Posted May 8, 2003 * Volunteer for a campaign or the Red Cross or the library. * Read your local paper and find clubs to join that you would be interested in, ie. hiking, photography, astronomy. * Find a church you like. * Join a gym!!! And take all their classes. That's my biggest plus. * Go back to community college for some courses. * Hang out at coffee shops with no agenda. * Plan your professional career. Make some guy friends so they can help you out as well. And leave girls that are not single alone. Best wishes.
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