More Personals Stories

[Star Gazer]

It's funny you say that because the men all like it. I should show you all the emails that I get. You'd be surprised at how many of them don't like that sweet, sappy stuff. But then, there are people (such as you) who just don't "get" my type of humor and never will and think of it as too abrasive or bitter, whiny, etc.... There are plenty though who DO "get" it and I'm getting emails all the time from them. And you know what? They tell me how it's so nice to see someone who's not like all the rest.

 

 

Do you honestly think I, of all people, don't "get" sarcasm? Do you think I am one of those sweet, sappy people? If so, hunny, you need a class on having a better judgment of character. I "get" your brand of humor, but I wouldn't like to see it in any email from a potential suitor, period. I'd certainly think it was funny, I'd probably email them for entertainment to give them kudos for being 'unique,' (put not intended) but I certainly wouldn't date them. NO ONE wants to date a bitter, jaded person.

[uniqueone]

Do you honestly think I, of all people, don't "get" sarcasm? Do you think I am one of those sweet, sappy people? If so, hunny, you need a class on having a better judgment of character. I "get" your brand of humor, but I wouldn't like to see it in any email from a potential suitor, period. I'd certainly think it was funny, I'd probably email them for entertainment to give them kudos for being 'unique,' (put not intended) but I certainly wouldn't date them. NO ONE wants to date a bitter, jaded person.

 

 

Well "hunny", they don't see me as bitter and jaded so I guess that means that THEY "get" me and you don't. Simple as that. I'm usually credited a great deal for my niceness so I guess that goes to show how much you really know about me, doesn't it?

 

To me, it sounds bitter and jaded when people assume things about others and jump to conclusions about them.....AND want to be argumentative. Pretty much like you're doing here.

[Star Gazer]

Well "hunny", they don't see me as bitter and jaded so I guess that means that THEY "get" me and you don't. Simple as that. I'm usually credited a great deal for my niceness so I guess that goes to show how much you really know about me, doesn't it?

 

But you're not finding what you're looking for, are you? I think your approach is part of the problem. The other part is your unreasonable expectations.

[uniqueone]

But you're not finding what you're looking for, are you? I think your approach is part of the problem. The other part is your unreasonable expectations.

 

 

Yes, I find what I'm looking for...they're just not in my city! (didn't I say that already?) And they DO exist. I've dated them. They're not in great supply, however. That's fine with me though. I prefer quality over quantity.

 

And no, I'm NOT going to lower my standards. I'm not suddenly going to find myself attracted to chubby guys. Attraction doesn't work like that, SG.

 

(Besides....I so hate it when I can outrun a guy........)

[Star Gazer]

And no, I'm NOT going to lower my standards. I'm not suddenly going to find myself attracted to chubby guys. Attraction doesn't work like that, SG.

 

For the millionth time, I'm not talking about physical attraction here. I'm talking about all of your other bazillion criteria you require (or nix them for having).

[uniqueone]

For the millionth time, I'm not talking about physical attraction here. I'm talking about all of your other bazillion criteria you require (or nix them for having).

 

Like intelligence and ability to write English?

[uniqueone]

Ooooh....just got a message that I have a cute SoCal guy coming in town to have dinner with me! Guess he didn't like that "bitter, jaded" attitude of mine either......

[oppath]

What I find interesting, uniqueone, is that you rail on people here for misinterpreting your post, when it's quite possible that you misinterpret this guys questions.

 

I don't feel he was asking anything unreasonable. I'm 27. It would be perfectly reasonable for a woman to ask me "are you looking for a long term relationship at this point in your life" on our first phone conversation before meeting. I could easily interpet that to mean "she wants marraige, run away from this psycho, she shouldn't ask that so soon" when in reality, she'd be asking "hey, what are your goals from being on this dating site. I can see you are about to finish graduate school. Is something serious in the cards for you in the next year or so? Because I have lots of men emailing me, and you seem more interesting, but I want to make sure our goals for this experience are similar."

 

I feel you interpreted what this guy was saying as incorrectly as you have accused others of interpreting your posts. We are all going to interpret them based on how they come off to us.

 

Really, I don't know how this is a story that warrants commentary. I don't see anything wrong in his conversation with you that screams RED FLAG. I don't see anything I'd classify as inappropriate. If it was uncomfortable for you, I understand, but he didn't say or ask anything outrageous. So my advice is: MEET HIM. And if the date wasn't awesome, if you didn't feel chemistry, rather than write "OMG, you wouldn't believe this..." (which is what I feel you'd write if it was a mediocre but not bad experience), chalk it up to "we weren't a match but it was pleasurable meeting a new, good person."

[uniqueone]

What I find interesting, uniqueone, is that you rail on people here for misinterpreting your post, when it's quite possible that you misinterpret this guys questions.

 

I don't feel he was asking anything unreasonable. I'm 27. It would be perfectly reasonable for a woman to ask me "are you looking for a long term relationship at this point in your life" on our first phone conversation before meeting. I could easily interpet that to mean "she wants marraige, run away from this psycho, she shouldn't ask that so soon" when in reality, she'd be asking "hey, what are your goals from being on this dating site. I can see you are about to finish graduate school. Is something serious in the cards for you in the next year or so? Because I have lots of men emailing me, and you seem more interesting, but I want to make sure our goals for this experience are similar."

 

I feel you interpreted what this guy was saying as incorrectly as you have accused others of interpreting your posts. We are all going to interpret them based on how they come off to us.

 

Really, I don't know how this is a story that warrants commentary. I don't see anything wrong in his conversation with you that screams RED FLAG. I don't see anything I'd classify as inappropriate. If it was uncomfortable for you, I understand, but he didn't say or ask anything outrageous. So my advice is: MEET HIM. And if the date wasn't awesome, if you didn't feel chemistry, rather than write "OMG, you wouldn't believe this..." (which is what I feel you'd write if it was a mediocre but not bad experience), chalk it up to "we weren't a match but it was pleasurable meeting a new, good person."

 

 

Asking if you want a LTR or not is not the same as asking if you're dating someone right now and then telling the person that you think that two people should just date each other. WE HAVEN'T EVEN MET YET.

 

Sorry..but two people deciding to date no one else comes later in the relationship and I guarantee you that if a woman asked this to a guy that she never met, people would be railing all over her.

 

But, aside from that, I didn't like him....so why would I want to meet him? He was boring me....I wanted to get off the phone. When he rambled on about his retirement, I actually put the phone away from me ear! For years, I had to listen to them talk about their retirement benefits and I had to see how they were so clueless as to what others on the outside went through just to keep afloat.

 

You're 27. When I was that age, I'd meet just about anyone. You'll see what I mean in 20 years. Right now, you won't see what I mean at all so it's pointless to try to get you to.

 

Clotheswise, you probably wore just about anything when you were a kid, right? But now you know what you like, what fits you right and what looks good on you. Same concept.

[uniqueone]

She's more than intelligent to get her points across, yet you choose to blatantly ignore what she's telling you. I consider this your attempt to degrade her in reprisal, yet you made no bones contacting an admin about what i wrote to have it removed. If you cannot take the heat of people seeing things for what they are, then don't post...seriously. There nothing constructive coming from you other than tooting your own horn. It's not helpful to others.

 

 

O-M-G.....I think if might be useful if you read things more clearly before commenting. If you go back and READ, the comment that I made about English and intelligence had nothing to do with StarGazer. It had to go with the other qualities in men she was referring to! :rolleyes:

 

If you choose to think that a guy whom cannot run faster than you as non essential date material when it comes down to longevity and quality of a person. Life will never reward such bitterness, the saying what goes around comes around certainly applies here.

 

Because I like fit, strong men I'm being too picky? Because I like men who are at LEAST as strong as I am, I'm being too picky? You've GOT to be kidding.

 

 

I'm guessing that the men who find offense with me having certain criteria are those who feel deficient somehow.

[oppath]

But, aside from that, I didn't like him....so why would I want to meet him? He was boring me....I wanted to get off the phone. When he rambled on about his retirement, I actually put the phone away from me ear!

 

If you didn't like him, and didn't want to meet him, I'm just curious why this was a story worth sharing. That sounds really mean of me. I'm sure you have lots of men emailing you on personals, and it sounds like you haven't communicated with many you like, and I understand how that is disappointing. I just don't see how this conversation falls under the "oh my god, what another bad experience, this is getting ridiculous" tone that you are using. I just feel your attitude should be "I don't think we are a match" instead of "oh my god, I can't believe this guy." If you were uncomfotable with his questions, that is valid. I only ask that you not judge them so severely, and I'm curious WHY this story is noteworthy to you.

 

What are the real reasons? I meet people and go on dates all the time that aren't that great, but I just chalk it up to "we aren't right for each other" and I make no further note of it. For some reason, this experience seems to have affected you in some way, and I'm not sure why, as it seems to be an experience that is common for everyone. Is it just frustration over not having had a positive experience in a while? Becaues this experience sounds NEUTRAL, and I wonder why a neutral experience could be so significant to you, because it does sound significant to you.

[Gunny376]

I read your thread before going to work, and so I've had eight plus hours to give it due consideration.

 

First off? Its my personal opinion that the guy that you spoke on the phone with ~ the one that's about to retire from the military did ask some imappropiate questions ~ too soon.

 

There are people ~ both men and women, whom you go out on two dates with, or for that matter show some interest in ~ and suddenly your happy azz has a BF or GF? More like a leech that you can't burn off nor otherwise get rid of?

 

This guys talking committed, LTR ~ and you've not even gone out a date! PLEASE PEOPLE! GIVE ME A BREAK!

 

And people wonder why the divorce rate is so high?

 

As one of those people that you seem to have so much contempt for? (Yea! I'm one of those that went in the military at 18 and retired at 38) I'm here to to tell you? Your right and your wrong!

 

I agree there are way too many "Remingtion Raiders" (Clerical types) and way too much inefficiecey in government at all levels, being paid way too much more than their worth, who think the World will come to a freaking end were it not for them and the jobs they have.

 

When I was about to retire? My then "school teacher" of a GF told me that I had lived a sheltered life?! PMO! I told her ~ "You think doing twenty years in the Marine Corps was easy?!"

 

Man! I just didn't have a freaking clue as to how hard it was out here in civilian "la~la" land, and how employers use and abuse people! Downright mistreat them! How hard it was to get a job? How they think that paying you $6.50 an hour is "damn good money", and expect you live off of that? (I've had a plant manager tell me that!) You'd best have two full time jobs ~ and I know many that do!

 

I especially learned to appreciate how hard it is to be a single mom with children ~ to be a woman just trying to find a decent paying job? Its tough! Its hard! Its all day tough and all day hard!

 

I can assure you?! That in me? You got your money's worth when it came to your tax dollar. For the better part of twenty years? I never worked less than a twelve hour day, and more days than not? I worked more!

never worked less than 60 hours a week. I was up before the Sun and came home after it went down.

 

The number one reason my wife left me? Because I was a "work-a-holic" The Corps cost me a wife and family.

 

I worked 16 out of 20 Christmas, 16 out of 20 Thanksgivings, etc. that I was in the Corps!

 

And? Its just wrong to say: "Look at what I've got, and what I've done, what I acheived!" And flaunt in someone's face that doesn't have it!"

 

I'm damned proud of what I did, what I've accomplished, what I've acheived! Damn proud! And just as proud that its over!

 

I can exsist off my retirement, but I can't live off it!

 

At 45? You need to "check yourself ~ in about five years? You'll be doing good to just find any man! And, that doesn't have anything to do with looks, shape, form, nor fashion ~ it has very much too do with the fact that men are stupid and do stupid things and die earlier than women!

[uniqueone]

If you didn't like him, and didn't want to meet him, I'm just curious why this was a story worth sharing. That sounds really mean of me. I'm sure you have lots of men emailing you on personals, and it sounds like you haven't communicated with many you like, and I understand how that is disappointing. I just don't see how this conversation falls under the "oh my god, what another bad experience, this is getting ridiculous" tone that you are using. I just feel your attitude should be "I don't think we are a match" instead of "oh my god, I can't believe this guy." If you were uncomfotable with his questions, that is valid. I only ask that you not judge them so severely, and I'm curious WHY this story is noteworthy to you.

 

What are the real reasons? I meet people and go on dates all the time that aren't that great, but I just chalk it up to "we aren't right for each other" and I make no further note of it. For some reason, this experience seems to have affected you in some way, and I'm not sure why, as it seems to be an experience that is common for everyone. Is it just frustration over not having had a positive experience in a while? Becaues this experience sounds NEUTRAL, and I wonder why a neutral experience could be so significant to you, because it does sound significant to you.

 

 

The point (that you seemed to have missed) was how some of the ones that I meet jump too forward too fast.

 

And Oppath....if it wasn't thread-worthy to you.....you can just skip it. It's ok....really....you can just skip it right on over to the next thread. I won't be offended by that AT ALL.

 

 

ETA: Oh and the thread was also a means for others to share their experiences as well.

[oppath]

The point (that you seemed to have missed) was how some of the ones that I meet jump too forward too fast.

 

And Oppath....if it wasn't thread-worthy to you.....you can just skip it. It's ok....really....you can just skip it right on over to the next thread. I won't be offended by that AT ALL.

 

 

ETA: Oh and the thread was also a means for others to share their experiences as well.

I dont want to skip it because I want you to have better dating experiences. It's not a waste of my time to try to understand why this phone conversation was so significant that it has taken time and energy out of your life to assess. I want you to find a loving relationship.

[uniqueone]

I read your thread before going to work, and so I've had eight plus hours to give it due consideration.

 

First off? Its my personal opinion that the guy that you spoke on the phone with ~ the one that's about to retire from the military did ask some imappropiate questions ~ too soon.

 

There are people ~ both men and women, whom you go out on two dates with, or for that matter show some interest in ~ and suddenly your happy azz has a BF or GF? More like a leech that you can't burn off nor otherwise get rid of?

 

This guys talking committed, LTR ~ and you've not even gone out a date! PLEASE PEOPLE! GIVE ME A BREAK!

 

And people wonder why the divorce rate is so high?

 

As one of those people that you seem to have so much contempt for? (Yea! I'm one of those that went in the military at 18 and retired at 38) I'm here to to tell you? Your right and your wrong!

 

I agree there are way too many "Remingtion Raiders" (Clerical types) and way too much inefficiecey in government at all levels, being paid way too much more than their worth, who think the World will come to a freaking end were it not for them and the jobs they have.

 

When I was about to retire? My then "school teacher" of a GF told me that I had lived a sheltered life?! PMO! I told her ~ "You think doing twenty years in the Marine Corps was easy?!"

 

Man! I just didn't have a freaking clue as to how hard it was out here in civilian "la~la" land, and how employers use and abuse people! Downright mistreat them! How hard it was to get a job? How they think that paying you $6.50 an hour is "damn good money", and expect you live off of that? (I've had a plant manager tell me that!) You'd best have two full time jobs ~ and I know many that do!

 

I especially learned to appreciate how hard it is to be a single mom with children ~ to be a woman just trying to find a decent paying job? Its tough! Its hard! Its all day tough and all day hard!

 

I can assure you?! That in me? You got your money's worth when it came to your tax dollar. For the better part of twenty years? I never worked less than a twelve hour day, and more days than not? I worked more!

never worked less than 60 hours a week. I was up before the Sun and came home after it went down.

 

The number one reason my wife left me? Because I was a "work-a-holic" The Corps cost me a wife and family.

 

I worked 16 out of 20 Christmas, 16 out of 20 Thanksgivings, etc. that I was in the Corps!

 

And? Its just wrong to say: "Look at what I've got, and what I've done, what I acheived!" And flaunt in someone's face that doesn't have it!"

 

I'm damned proud of what I did, what I've accomplished, what I've acheived! Damn proud! And just as proud that its over!

 

I can exsist off my retirement, but I can't live off it!

 

At 45? You need to "check yourself ~ in about five years? You'll be doing good to just find any man! And, that doesn't have anything to do with looks, shape, form, nor fashion ~ it has very much too do with the fact that men are stupid and do stupid things and die earlier than women!

 

I agree with you that govt/military are not ALL like that. I was going to go back and post that earlier but I thought that it would just bring up the subject again and make things worse so I didn't. I know hard working ones exist....but I also know that they're the minority and more so today than in the past.

 

I won't go into what I saw and heard from many of them for years and years because it's TMI here.

You worked hard because you were a work-aholic. But those who aren't workaholics know too well that they can get by doing almost nothing and they do just that.

 

For too many years, I saw people who did absolutely nothing discussing their great benefits and retirements and it made me physically ill. I think that if people knew what really happens to their tax dollars.....there would be a revolution. It is simply unbelieveable.

 

At 45 am I worried that I won't find a man when I'm older? Not at all. The older men I've gone out with aren't anywhere near dying....they're usually triathletes.

[uniqueone]

I dont want to skip it because I want you to have better dating experiences. It's not a waste of my time to try to understand why this phone conversation was so significant that it has taken time and energy out of your life to assess. I want you to find a loving relationship.

 

 

I was bored and I like to write. It's a hobby.

[Gunny376]

BTW! Us Vets appericate all you Taxpayers for putting your azz on the line!

 

It helped alot when some "joker" was trying to take my head off!

[Gunny376]

I apolgize if I offended anyone? I don't apolgize for being who and what I am?

 

I can be an azzhat! I know that I am! I make no apolgies for that! Thing is? I know I'm one!

 

I don't need anyone to tell me otherwise!

 

But you know what? I'm a loveable azzhat! :love::love: