Would you ever seriously date somebody who was super goodlooking?

[Lyssa]

There are more important things in life than being really really really ridiculously good looking.

 

True-dat! Personality goes a long long way!!

 

I dated this guy who was half German, half Malaysian. Totally hot. Every time we went out, without fail he would check himself in the mirror (whenever we pass by one) and when he tried clothes on --- he did the catwalk!!

[oppath]

True-dat! Personality goes a long long way!!

 

I dated this guy who was half German, half Malaysian. Totally hot. Every time we went out, without fail he would check himself in the mirror (whenever we pass by one) and when he tried clothes on --- he did the catwalk!!

 

You should have challenged him to a walk off. This would never happen to a girl who dated me. I hate trying on clothes. I always find something too tight and look like Eurotrash (no offense to the Europeans on this board, but I'd have to get a whole new warddrobe and maybe some accessories to pull of that look).

[marlena]

I'm European. What's "eurotrash?" Sounds like my salary, LOL!!

[oppath]

I'm European. What's "eurotrash?" Sounds like my salary, LOL!!

One of the urban dictionary defs:

 

A human sub-phylum characterized by its apparent affluence, worldliness, social affectation and addiction to fashion. Males are characterized by a semi-slovenly appearance (including half-shaven faces), greasy hair, rib-hugging shirts, tight jeans and loafers worn without socks. Women are easily distinguished by anorexia, over-bleached hair, gaudy jewelry, plastic surgery (particularly breast-enlargement) and their attachment to the male species. Both sexes greet each other with “air kisses,” immediately speak of their last trip (often Paris, Rome, Majorca), spend hours at “see-and-be-seen” restaurants and exhibit a world-weariness and pained sense of irony.

[marlena]

WOW!!!!!!!!!! Incredible!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK. Got it!!!

 

Along the lines of "trailer trash" "white trash" etc...!!! Yup, lot's of those about in the Old Continent!! I really liked the "air kisses"! That was funny!!! Oh, yeah, and the blase, bored look while flippantly saying, "Just got back from my shopping spree in Milan!!!!"

 

Haha!! Thanks! Had a good laugh over this one!!!

 

Still could be my salary, though!!

[Lyssa]

You should have challenged him to a walk off. This would never happen to a girl who dated me. I hate trying on clothes. I always find something too tight and look like Eurotrash (no offense to the Europeans on this board, but I'd have to get a whole new warddrobe and maybe some accessories to pull of that look).

 

I didn't challenge but I walked off -- for good!!

 

I don't mind going shopping with guys just don't be so full of yourself! Errghh.. .

[Spinderella]

Ive dated both good looking, and conventionally unpretty, and found no differences of character. I've now decided to go for a different type of character!

[bish]

As a girl I'm always wary of guys who are too gorgeous because based on personal experience really hot guys tend to be much more likely to be a) douchebags and b) cheaters.

 

I think you are correct in thinking that. I would date someone super good looking out of the fact that just because they are good looking doesn't mean they are superficial inside. I consider myself good looking, but not a Brad Pitt or anything. And I usually date women who are not supermodels...I like whats on the inside. Sure, there has to be that attraction on the outside too, but my standards aren't in the clouds.

 

I'd say rather than people who are "really good looking", I'd say I wouldn't consider dating someone who is obsessed with their looks. Always looking at themselves in a mirror in a "damn I'm fine" kind of way. Case in point, my stbXW. She wasn't a supermodel, but she thought she was and needed validation from alot of other guys no matter how much I gave her.

 

So yes, I think you are 90% right about those types being cheaters.

[monkey00]

Totally the way I see/feel things. So far this is what experience has taught me. Extremely good looking men make very bad partners. Yes, they are egocentric, selfish, full of themselves and seek new female attention every step of the way. Ego stroking is as important to them as the air they breathe.

 

Well it's easy to say that now, but I know tons of females who are attention whores even if they're with a guy. Is it so wrong for a guy to attention whore every once in awhile? :lmao:

 

But anyway I think the ones who need constant validation from people about their looks are obvious f*cked in the head. If you have a healthy self-esteem and confidence and know you're hot sh*t you don't need to prove it.

[marlena]

Well it's easy to say that now, but I know tons of females who are attention whores even if they're with a guy. Is it so wrong for a guy to attention whore every once in awhile? :lmao:

 

But anyway I think the ones who need constant validation from people about their looks are obvious f*cked in the head. If you have a healthy self-esteem and confidence and know you're hot sh*t you don't need to prove it.

Well it's easy to say that now, but I know tons of females who are attention whores even if they're with a guy. Is it so wrong for a guy to attention whore every once in awhile?

 

Sure these things are not limited to one gender alone.

 

But anyway I think the ones who need constant validation from people about their looks are obvious f*cked in the head

 

Absolutely! Anyone who needs constant validation is extremely insecure. What comes across as confidence is in reality a lack of confidence. Often this lack of confidence is coupled with low self- esteem. Of course people like this would be the last to admit they even have a problem. In fact, true to their narcissistic personality, they usually turn the tables on you and blame you if the relationship doesn't work out.

[monkey00]

Absolutely! Anyone who needs constant validation is extremely insecure. What comes across as confidence is in reality a lack of confidence. Often this lack of confidence is coupled with low self- esteem. Of course people like this would be the last to admit they even have a problem. In fact, true to their narcissistic personality, they usually turn the tables on you and blame you if the relationship doesn't work out.

 

I think for certain people, attention or validation often becomes a drug - it gets addictive. And when they don't get it they suffer withdrawal symptoms - becoming more obsessed about their looks. But to determine your own self-worth based on someone's opinion of you is difficult to overcome if you're addicted.

 

I don't know about narcissists, but it's common in relationships to blame the other.

[Road Rage]

I am definitely one of the most handsome, sought after men on the planet yet am completely humble about it. But it is good to know why so many women won`t give me a chance:D

[GoodOnPaper]

I think the worst kind of men (for dating) are

1.) the ones who were ugly in HS or College then got a good job or became better looking later in life---they seem to want to make up for lost booty time and prove something to the world

 

Wow. Kick a guy for being too good looking, kick a guy for being ugly, and then kick that same "ugly" guy for improving himself and trying to boost his dating market stock value. Tough dating world. Almost makes me glad I'm married . . . almost.

 

Having a Ph.D. behind my name but never having been able to pick up a woman at a bar or party, I suppose I qualify as one of these "ugly" guys. The urge to "make up" for lost experiences is indeed very strong, especially after you learn -- thanks to the abundance of dating advice internet sites -- that you did everything wrong in your approach to dating. I can understand wanting to prove something, mostly to myself. When one's choices for sex/relationship partners are few, it's more difficult to let go of the need for outside validation. Good-looking guys get the outside validation without trying and often take it for granted. If they realize that the outside validation isn't all it's cracked up to be, they'll mature and develop self-validation rather easily. For us "ugly" guys, even the outside validation looks good from our vantage point, so we have more hurdles to clear. Fortunately for you single women out there, a lot of us have married ourselves off to the first woman who showed a little long-term relationship interest, erroneously thinking that this was a way to get laid on a semi-regular basis like the good-looking guys do.

[squeak]

This is a great thread shadowplay.

 

My BF is, unfortunately (I'll explain why) really super good looking. Think the younger less foppish Hugh Grant type. I want to lop a few inches off his height, or sometimes I wish he would develop acne. Just kidding. No, not really.

 

But the fact is-yes-girls at work are always offering to compliment him on anything he does, or offering to help out on any projects. He just elicits this "helpful" response in so many women. Oh yes girls, you know.."helpful". Yeah-- whatever. And they are always, always certain to make sure he knows they are available, in some way, or another.

 

We walk down the street and I have seen girls mouths drop open, and sometimes they just stare with a "f*$k me" look like I'm not even there and do this catwalk thing. I have looked at him and I have seen that sometimes he does not even notice, but I am sure other times he does and his head must be really big from it. even if he doesn't say so.

 

Personally, I am embarassed for most women who act this aggressively, but it is the society we live in now. At restaurants I have seen girls turn around to get a last look at him-when his back was turned! I took that as more of a slight against me, honestly. Or they would stand too near our table and keep looking over, to see if they could get his attention.

 

His effect on the female population is ...uncanny. And when we have arguments or spats, I do think about all the females around on an everyday basis- who I have seen with my own eyes watching us closely, with spite in their eyes as they check me out and I can practically feel them thinking "what has she got that I haven't ?".

 

It makes me nauseous some days. I try not to think about it. As much as one can try not to think about something. That is the reality is of dating a universally attractive person. The rest- charachter and assesment is another part of it, but regardless-that daily aspect of feeling the competition keenly is always there.

 

I would like to follow Lizzie's advice more than I do already. But then, if things fall apart I would be to blame because someone could say "well-you didn't pay him enough attention-so another stepped in to make up for your lack of it"....!!

[Trialbyfire]

squeak, stop and think about it this way. If he were average-looking, how would you handle your relationship? That he's attractive should have no bearing about how you feel about him as a person, in that there shouldn't be a greater investment or reward for him, due to looks.

 

As for greater competition, ignore it. As long as he's not actively encouraging the attention, it's moot, because he's with someone he wants to be, namely you.

[squeak]

Awww Trialbyfire you're the best!

 

Yeah it's true I could never be a good athlete because my mind would be too much on what the other athlete's are doing, and the best athlete's are the ones who are able to tune that out and concentrate solely on themselves-hrmm well hopefully that analogy came across, fuddled as it is.

 

You are absolutely right on!

[BlueEyedGirl]

For sure wouldn't date someone that's too good looking, not seriously anyway. I mean it's really silly to think that good looks and cheating are not correlated. Sure, morals play a part but a guy who is approached by hot girls on daily basis has MORE chance of cheating than a guy who barely gets approached. Good looking guy would need to have stellar morals to reject hot girls all the time. I'm not saying it's impossible but it is unlikely. I just do not like my odds in that situation.

 

I have been approached recently by incredibly good looking guy in Borders. He was 6 feet 2, movie star smile, perfect body, skin, face etc. Plus really self confident. I was turned off straight away by his apparent perfection and was completly disinterested and just walked away.

[tanbark813]

a guy who is approached by hot girls on daily basis has MORE chance of cheating than a guy who barely gets approached.

 

I think this is completely backwards. If someone is getting approached all the time, it's easy to turn people down because you know another person is just around the corner. A person who rarely gets approached is going to be more desperate and more likely to think it's a once-in-a-lifetime (or close to it) opportunity. I think this goes for both men and women.

[squeak]

I have known of 6 or 7 people that cheated -only 1 out of the 7 was the uber good looking type. The others were people who absolutely broke their wives or GF's trust at the first chance of an affair.

 

I agree with tanbark-the uber good looking tend to upgrade more frequently, but since they have so many choices, can afford to be pickier-not necessarily greedier.

(think about movie stars-they switch partners a lot-but not so much cheating as compared to the masses).

 

Since this is all generalizing, I'm going to go with the people that don't have too much choice tend to grab the first temptations that come their way.

 

But since we are comparing middle of the road good looking her vs uber good looking, I would garner middle of the road is safer over all.

 

I read this topic on another message board and many girls came to the agreement that looks don't =better or worse treatment, so may as well take your chance on the uber good looking then be di**ed around by a middle of the road type looker who you assume was safe but really was not!

 

I don't believe in formulas or guarantees with any of the above. Each person has to be assessed seperately.

[shadowplay]

I think this is completely backwards. If someone is getting approached all the time, it's easy to turn people down because you know another person is just around the corner. A person who rarely gets approached is going to be more desperate and more likely to think it's a once-in-a-lifetime (or close to it) opportunity. I think this goes for both men and women.

 

then how do you explain the notorious infidelities of rockstars?

 

I think the most likely to cheat are guys who for most of their lives have gone unnoticed by women and suddenly become a hot catch for whatever reason -- they become famous, grow into their looks, go to a college full of horny girls...whatever

[Trialbyfire]

shadowplay, my ex-H cheated on me and he was the belle of the ball, all his life.

[tanbark813]

then how do you explain the notorious infidelities of rockstars?

 

That's getting into another topic. Being a rockstar requires a certain type of personality which likely coincides with the type of person who would cheat, not to mention involving the type of lifestyle that 99.999% of people don't have. Secondly, not all rockstars look like Brad Pitt.

 

Plus, look at the people on talk shows about infidelity, or watch the show "Cheaters". The majority of those folks are ugly as f**k.

[StartFresh]

As a girl I'm always wary of guys who are too gorgeous because based on personal experience really hot guys tend to be much more likely to be a) douchebags and b) cheaters.

 

A gorgeous guy is usually orbited by an entourage of female followers/friends ready to pounce at any opportunity. Also, gorgeous guys tend to be addicted to female attention and may have trouble committing to one person once their ego needs another fix. Whenever a really attractive guy approaches me, I'm very cautious and usually blow him off unless he gives me good reason to take him seriously.

 

My ideal is a guy who's quite good looking, but not too good looking. I'm wondering if other people feel the same way. What about guys, do you ever avoid dating super attractive women for this reason? I think beautiful women are less likely to stray than beautiful men, though.

 

Guys think the same way. I was hooking up with a very attractive female for a while but I knew all along I didn't want to get involved because she was shady, addicted to male attention, and probably had other things going on.

 

On the flipside, I like to think I'm a pretty attractive guy (or so I've been told on a few occasions). But, I am not a douchebag, nor a cheater. I'm quite mature I like to think. I do have a few girls I'm talking to, but thats because nobody is exclusive, and should something develope into more, I can cut the others loose no problem.

 

I also disagree with the bolded statement, or at least thats what my experiences have taught me. If you can find me an attractive female who won't play me, I'll marry the chick, because they are apparently few and very far beween.

 

-SF

[birdie]

my last boyfriend was very hot and I never had to worry about his cheating on me because he had morals and a backbone. I even have the slightly controversial view that good looking people are less likely to stray because they are used to the attention, dealt with it at some point in their lives and not necessarily flattered by it. especially when they are in their late 20s or onwards. it is certainly the case for girls, the uglier they are the b*tchier they get.

[RecordProducer]

One of the urban dictionary defs:

 

A human sub-phylum characterized by its apparent affluence, worldliness, social affectation and addiction to fashion. Males are characterized by a semi-slovenly appearance (including half-shaven faces), greasy hair, rib-hugging shirts, tight jeans and loafers worn without socks. Women are easily distinguished by anorexia, over-bleached hair, gaudy jewelry, plastic surgery (particularly breast-enlargement) and their attachment to the male species. Both sexes greet each other with “air kisses,” immediately speak of their last trip (often Paris, Rome, Majorca), spend hours at “see-and-be-seen” restaurants and exhibit a world-weariness and pained sense of irony.

There is nothing urban about the term "Eurotrash"! It's so apparent that the term comes from non-European "trash" itself!!!

 

While I am completely not offended by the description, since people like this do exist in Europe and America, as well (and I am not one of them), I find it disgusting that someone could relate a group of empty-headed people to a whole continent. Any person who doesn't have basic knowledge and manners could qualify as "trash" but these people have their purpose in this world: not everyone can be a doctor, engineer or a university professor. Someone has to do your roof and lawn and dig coal. In fact, I've met educated people who are trash in my book, and I've met uneducated people who are smart and wonderful. The real trash are the criminals, the mean and nasty people (some politicians, too). Overbleached hair or not wearing socks hardly makes anyone bad; referring to somebody's appearance as a tool of making judgment speaks of the judges themselves.

 

People discriminate against various groups way too easily - without looking in the mirror first!