Pedigree Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 I just joined and I need some advice. Like the title said, I want to get over a girl. But I'd like to begin with the story of how I got to this point. Both she and I are uni students, we do the same degree, and want to major in the same things. As a result, we see each other at lectures and we've been in the same tutorial for two consecutive semesters. She's sweet, smart, and (when I saw her during a party), knows how to have some fun. I didn't take much notice of her at first but as the year progressed, she grew on me. Around about 6 weeks ago, she didn't show up to a lecture and a tutorial and I was "WTF, where is she?". Then a week later when she did show up, everything seemed to be cool again. So it was on my home from uni that week that I had feelings/crush/infatuation/limerence/whatever you want to call it for/on this girl. So I thought, "Hey, I want to get to know her better so I better make a move" and planned to do so for next week's tutorial. So the next week, she showed up early as usual, and I made an effort to show up early. The class was empty but for a few people (including the two of us) and I took a seat next to her. But then everything took a turn for the worse within 30 seconds like thus: Me: Hi, (At this point I said her name) Her: Hi (sees the WWE T-shirt I'm wearing that day), I didn't know you're a wrestling fan. Me : I am. You're a fan as well? I can't imagine you being a wrestling fan. Her: Well not me, exactly. It's my boyfriend... The conversation continued but from that point on, I was smiling on the outside but not on the inside. Needless to say I feel crushed and I spent the weekend (since the tutorial is on a friday) brooding. After instances of thinking how am I going to get this girl from her current BF, I accepted reality and said "She's taken, so I'll just have to get over her and find someone else." For the next couple of days, I didn't think about her, just immersed myself in my studies and took opportunities to have some fun with my friends. I did pretty well in this regard, so much so that I forgot that she was in my lecture. But come time for the tutorial, when I see her sitting there, sometimes not very far from me, the proverbial wounds are reopened. What happens then is that I repeat the process from the previous paragraph and things go around in a circle. If I wasn't going to see her again, it would be easy for me to get over her as it's just a matter of "Out of sight, out of mind". But I see her at least once a week and I might as well just hit reset on getting over her whenever I see her. Little help?
swissusadude Posted October 28, 2007 Posted October 28, 2007 I know exactly what you are talking about. If I were you, I would do my best to move on and try to ignore the negative feelings you experience. When you see her, in your mind, look at her as just a friend. Try to get rid of those other feelings. Be somewhat aware to how her relationship is going. You never know, she might break up soon and have some interest in you. She just sparked your interest a lot after some time, so this should die down after some time, but I think you might always think of her from time to time. Hope this helps
Author Pedigree Posted October 28, 2007 Author Posted October 28, 2007 Thanks for the advice, swissusadude, I was beginning that no one will answer. I'll bear your advice in mind.
Author Pedigree Posted November 1, 2007 Author Posted November 1, 2007 So, are you coping better now? Actually I just saw her again today. It was lecture day today, except instead of a lecture we had an exam instead. I got there 40 minutes early and was doing some last minute revision when she showed up. She recognized me and decided to sit next to me and it was a struggle to keep your advice in mind as she chatted with me. Overall, I think I coped pretty well with regards to seeing her as a friend. I think having that mindset and having an exam to concentrate on to boot made it easier for me. I kept your advice after the exam and I have to say it worked, for the first time since I started getting infatuated, my first thought when we parted ways was not "When am I going to see her again?" Although I did go back to that thought process for some time when I'm on my way home. The only consolation that uni would be wrapping up soon for the year. The holidays are going to be for 3 months of which 1 month will be spent overseas so plenty of time for me to stop obessesing. I'll definitely be seeing her again next year since we do the same degrees and want to major in the same stuff. Maybe even before that since we have a common friend who'll invite us both to her birthday party. But by that time, hopefully I've gotten out of this phase. I am however being as you put it "somewhat aware of how her relationship is going". The common friend I mentioned, she's the only one that knows about this (aside from the people reading this of course). She's pulling for me to get together with the girl and has appointed herself "My eyes and ears" when it comes to keeping up on how her relationship is going.
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