jamie2002 Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 So i am wondering is there other girls out there having a problem finding a quality guy to consider dating long term? I have 8 single friends including myself that are in our early 30s. We are all attractive and independent girls just trying to find guys are age that are grounded and want to be in a normal commited relationship and they are all acting like they are in high school wanting to be players .. nobody my age wants to grow up and nobody wants anything serious.. its a crazy dating world right now.. I hate being single i really enjoy being in a mature relationship and its getting so hard finding anything close.. i am 34 i want to start finding someone to settle down with in a few years and start a family.. i feel like there is no hope.. Any advice would be great.. I feel like i am stuck on pause and there is no light ahead for hope for love again:(
soconfused2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 I didn't realize there were actual girls in San Jose.... Everyone I know refers to it as "Man" Jose... All jokes aside, it would seem to me a single woman such as yourself would have her veritable pick of the litter in Silicon Valley. Where are you looking?
Author jamie2002 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 Nope there are lots of good catches that are female here in SJ and have no baggage and there are tons of men or should i say boys my age but not much quality here.. I meet guys all over the place just living my life going out, and not just bars.. lots of social events etc.. i just dont understand what is going on ..
heidiQ Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 I am in the northwest and in my early 30's - my friends and I all have the same problem as you. I have been out with 4 potentially good matches around my age in the last 6 weeks, and nothing... They are all so wrapped up in themselves they can't even consider a relationship right now. so frustrating!!!
Highheels74 Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Hi...try going a little older than you're used to...guys are still immature in their 30's...Watch out because some older guys are no different. Good luck!
Author jamie2002 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 Yeah I feel like i was cheated out on the grown up stage of the next chapter of my life.. I have been single for over two years.. yes have dated but not anything great at all.. that is the longest i have been single in my life.. they are soo into themselves it really makes me sick.. no girl is important or special or unique we are all just the next factor and i know i deserve a great guy.. my family tells me not to give up hope but two years of this frog dating.. i am getting soo discouraged..
tanbark813 Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 I'm still single. I guess you're looking in the wrong part of the Bay.
sweetbutcheeky Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Yeah I feel like i was cheated out on the grown up stage of the next chapter of my life.. I have been single for over two years.. yes have dated but not anything great at all.. that is the longest i have been single in my life.. they are soo into themselves it really makes me sick.. no girl is important or special or unique we are all just the next factor and i know i deserve a great guy.. my family tells me not to give up hope but two years of this frog dating.. i am getting soo discouraged.. I'm right there with ya. I am so frustrated and feel like giving up because after meeting the same kinds of guys over and over you don't want the same thing to happen again! For now I am not even looking for a date (even though I want all the things you mentioned as well). For now I am trying to build my group of friends because I don't know what to do about dating anymore.
tanbark813 Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 meeting the same kinds of guys over and over If you do what you've always done you'll always get what you always got.
Author jamie2002 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 If you do what you've always done you'll always get what you always got. Um i am a bit confused on what you mean by this tanbark813.. ????
tanbark813 Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Um i am a bit confused on what you mean by this tanbark813.. ???? Meaning, rather than blaming men for your lack of success, perhaps the more productive thing to do would be to examine your dating criteria, and/or methods of meeting new men, for flaws.
Author jamie2002 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 hmm i guess the only thing i can try different is date older guys maybe that want what i want. Because the criteria that i am looking for is pretty normal for a girl my age i think.. A guy in his 30s i think should be ready to stop acting 10 and get that out of his system in his 20s but i think i am wrong..
Cobra_X30 Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 I am in the northwest and in my early 30's - my friends and I all have the same problem as you. I have been out with 4 potentially good matches around my age in the last 6 weeks, and nothing... They are all so wrapped up in themselves they can't even consider a relationship right now. so frustrating!!! You must be in the wrong part, cause I got a ton of friends here in the NW looking for a decent girl, and its like wandering the desert looking for water!
Woggle Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 All these guys probably tried to be good men earlier and when it backfired on them they decided to be players. I really do feel bad for women like you just want a happy relationship but other women have ruined it for you. These men have probably seen a few divorces and have seen a few of their friends experience walkaway wives and it scares the hell out of them. Being a player has the most benefits for a man out of any lifestyle because he gets laid and when a woman gets to be too much drama they move on to the next.
Pyro Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 So i am wondering is there other girls out there having a problem finding a quality guy to consider dating long term? I have 8 single friends including myself that are in our early 30s. We are all attractive and independent girls just trying to find guys are age that are grounded and want to be in a normal commited relationship and they are all acting like they are in high school wanting to be players .. nobody my age wants to grow up and nobody wants anything serious.. its a crazy dating world right now.. I hate being single i really enjoy being in a mature relationship and its getting so hard finding anything close.. i am 34 i want to start finding someone to settle down with in a few years and start a family.. i feel like there is no hope.. Any advice would be great.. I feel like i am stuck on pause and there is no light ahead for hope for love again:( Finding a quality person can be very difficult to accomplish. You just have to keep throwing yourself out there and like TB mentioned, you may want to try a new game plan.
Pyro Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 All these guys probably tried to be good men earlier and when it backfired on them they decided to be players. I really do feel bad for women like you just want a happy relationship but other women have ruined it for you. These men have probably seen a few divorces and have seen a few of their friends experience walkaway wives and it scares the hell out of them. Being a player has the most benefits for a man out of any lifestyle because he gets laid and when a woman gets to be too much drama they move on to the next. Hows that therapy coming along?
Woggle Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Hows that therapy coming along? Good. She wants to know why men her age act the way they do and I am teling her why.
Pyro Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 Good. She wants to know why men her age act the way they do and I am teling her why. Why is it automatically the females fault? You don't think that those guys are naturally pricks?
heidiQ Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 You must be in the wrong part, cause I got a ton of friends here in the NW looking for a decent girl, and its like wandering the desert looking for water! Really? You don't have to get too specific if you don't want but what part of the Northwest are you from? And where are your friends hanging out looking for a decent girl? Cause there's one right here!
Author jamie2002 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 You are sooo right about guys doing this because its the basic easy way out.. i mean guys have it so made.. they dont have to settle down or have babies and anytime of there age.. they have no timeline for anything.. They make no commitments, pretend that you are the only one they care about and want.. and then when there is a bump in the road like all relationships have they run as far away to the next victom because they dont have to try with anyone..there is always going to be another girl they can meet.. Which makes a nice girl like me really sad.. to me these guys look like a bunch of jerks.. and very immiture..
Pyro Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 You are sooo right about guys doing this because its the basic easy way out.. i mean guys have it so made.. they dont have to settle down or have babies and anytime of there age.. they have no timeline for anything.. They make no commitments, pretend that you are the only one they care about and want.. and then when there is a bump in the road like all relationships have they run as far away to the next victom because they dont have to try with anyone..there is always going to be another girl they can meet.. Which makes a nice girl like me really sad.. to me these guys look like a bunch of jerks.. and very immiture.. Yes those type of guys exist, but the type of guy that you are looking for is still out there. You have to be patient about it. You can't expect instant results. Have you tried on-line dating?
Author jamie2002 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 hahah instant results .. remember i have been doing this for over two years.. yes i did try online even for a little while ..tried a different way to date and that didn't work out either.. 5 out of 5 were yes again players..
Pyro Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 hahah instant results .. remember i have been doing this for over two years.. yes i did try online even for a little while ..tried a different way to date and that didn't work out either.. 5 out of 5 were yes again players.. I'm sorry for the bad luck that you have gone through. Everyone goes through a string of bad luck. All that I can say is to be as patient as you can be.
Author jamie2002 Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 I really appreciate your advice..thank you.. and i will try to continue not to give up.. and trust there is still a wonderful guy right for me out there somewhere..
Pyro Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 I really appreciate your advice..thank you.. and i will try to continue not to give up.. and trust there is still a wonderful guy right for me out there somewhere.. I am here to help. I know its easier said then done, but don't give up hope.
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