almosthere Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 My last thread was way too long and complicated. Here is a shorter version, with me now knowing a little bit more about her through friends. We are both seniors in high school and though our lockers are next to each other we never really talked for a few reasons. Never had classes and she was pretty quiet. The more I think about it, she seems like she went from a very average girl freshman year to a very beautiful (understatement in my opinion) girl by junior/senior year. Does that just happen? She is the undisputed hottest girl in our class to let you know what we are working with. I found out that she had a boyfriend, who was in college, for around 4 years. She was apparently "afraid" to break-up with him because (as I have heard) he was kinda nuts. So she did break up with him earlier this year, like a few months ago. She is now "officially" dating this kid whom she had talked to a lot for the past few years. He went to our school and still technically does, but is only there one period of the day. I found it odd how long they waited to date, and prior to this the kid pretty much "claimed" her in any situation (in years past.) So her current relationship, according to her friends, is going well. But others have said it wasn't. So I am not sure how much she really likes him. Now to MY problem. Like 10 kids now know that I like her, but I requested they say nothing. Here are my questions: 1.) Opinion on this girl given the two relationships I am aware of 2.) Could she really have become unbelievably attractive over a few years? 3.) Do I let anyone tell her so as to figure out where I am at? Mainly because I SUCK with this stuff. Hell, I am even nervous getting books out when she is there. 4.) Basketball season is fully underway in a month (the NBA that is) is asking her to a game a good idea? With a boyfriend and without... THANK YOU VERY MUCH for all help. Please ask if you need anything clarified. I feel like a little bitch asking this stuff to other guys and sometimes even girls...
TonyJSD Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 I can't answer all your questions, but will give you advice. Yes, it is very possible she has turned into a gorgeous woman. Happens all the time. I saw many girls transform into stunning women. Usually happens around 16-18 from what I have seen. I would be careful about asking her out when she has a boyfriend right now, that could cause a lot of problems for you, especially since he is in your school for at least 1 period. I would start out slowly. Next time you see her at her locker, just start up a conversation. Say Hi, and then proceed to ask her how her day is going? Let her answer, if she asks you back, respond and leave it at that. Give it a few days, ask her another question when you see her again. Just don't go right in and tell her how you feel right away, it will scare her off. Just my opinion though. Hopefully someone else will chime in.
Author almosthere Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 I can't answer all your questions, but will give you advice. Yes, it is very possible she has turned into a gorgeous woman. Happens all the time. I saw many girls transform into stunning women. Usually happens around 16-18 from what I have seen. I would be careful about asking her out when she has a boyfriend right now, that could cause a lot of problems for you, especially since he is in your school for at least 1 period. I would start out slowly. Next time you see her at her locker, just start up a conversation. Say Hi, and then proceed to ask her how her day is going? Let her answer, if she asks you back, respond and leave it at that. Give it a few days, ask her another question when you see her again. Just don't go right in and tell her how you feel right away, it will scare her off. Just my opinion though. Hopefully someone else will chime in. I hate BS conversation stuff. That's stuff friends would say, for sure, but not if you want to date them (I am no expert though). When I am around her, unless she starts the conversation, I freeze up completely. I have never had that happen before, even with other girls I liked. The weird part is how comfortable I am talking to her when she starts talking to me. Would it be obvious what I am getting at if I said to her... "How are things going with (her bf)?" If she says yes, great or whatever then that really sucks for me. She seems like the girl who is committed to whatever relationship she is in, and maybe afraid of breaking up with anyone, she is shy in school but not once you know her. I know you said just straight up telling her I like her would be bad, and weird in my opinion as well, but what if a friend of her's let her know? One kid already asked her how many classes she had with me (to figure out if she was the girl I liked) and I asked what she said after he asked and he said that he just "beat around the bush." She answered the question, but she must have said "Why?" or soemthing too...
Ali4134 Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 1) She seems to want to have someone at all times. Typical of a highschool girl. Don't worry about the 2 relationships for now. 2)Girls always mature with their looks during that time. It is very possible and well, now you've seen it. What else do you think happened...lol. 3)Do not have someone else tell her how you feel. Maybe have them make comments like...."I can't believe how good he(you) is at...and then whatever it is you're good at. Also, do just like Tony said and just start conversations with her slowly. Let her know who you are and develope her own feelings. You two have to share the same level of feelings before it would work. Otherwise she'll get either scared off, or she'll use you without even meaning to. 4) Sure, after she begins to notice you and you two have small talk then say something like this, "hey, my friend was supposed to go to this game with me but he had to cancel. Do you want to go with me?" This way it wasn't like you got the tickets specifically to ask her, so she can't be scared off and if her boyfriend asks she can hold that it was innocent. If she begins to like you as much as you like her, the other guy will be history. Give it about a month of hanging out to tell her that you like her and don't want to just be friends. Then the ball is in her park and you'll know. She either will be with you or not. Either way at least that what-if won't be there.
Author almosthere Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 For sure I want the "what-if" to never be a factor. I am giving it time. I am hoping some of her friends send hints or whatever. I look forward to all other help.
Author almosthere Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 I hope this is allowed, if not I will delete it. Here is a picture of her: http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff7/btobias777/azaaaaaa.jpg
jcster Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 I hope this is allowed, if not I will delete it. Here is a picture of her She's quite pretty - but I think you should delete it for her privacy - you obviously didn't ask her permission before putting it up on a public site.
Author almosthere Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 She's quite pretty - but I think you should delete it for her privacy - you obviously didn't ask her permission before putting it up on a public site. She had it on a public site fwiw. But, is she not the most beautiful brunette (or blonde for that matter) that you have ever seen? Maybe it just seems that way because I know her?
TonyJSD Posted October 25, 2007 Posted October 25, 2007 I would take her picture down, you never know who could be on these forums and you with all the people out their suing for insane stuff, you could get in some trouble.
Author almosthere Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 I would take her picture down, you never know who could be on these forums and you with all the people out their suing for insane stuff, you could get in some trouble. Again, I got it off a public site. I will take it down shortly. I just want some, I guess men's, opinions on her. Have you ever seen a more attractive, at 18, girl? I want to know if I am just like blinded by her now.
Author almosthere Posted October 25, 2007 Author Posted October 25, 2007 PS- I want HONEST opinions on her. You won't be offending anyone!
Author almosthere Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 I will do daily updates so as to seek further advice. Friday October 26, 2007 Raining all day and very mundane and boring all around. We are at our lockers right after lunch like every day and we both have an English test the last period of the day. I pretty much already knew what it was on, but I said this to her. "Do you know what part the english is on?" "The vocab terms (she said something else to elaborate, don't know what though)" "So, the 10 words we went over in class?" "Yea, and she again elaborated." I said alright or thanks or something to that effect and she walked to her next class and I followed, she took a look back as she went around the corner. I don't know if this is good/bad and if it is progress as far as talking goes. I shouldn't have expected her to gaze deeply in my eyes and smile when she was explaining a test should I? Thats how it was the other few times, but we were discussing different things. Can I really read anything into this reaction? And lastly, would an un-interested girl likely just say "the vocab" or something else really short? She was explaining it but I don't remember what she said, I was just happy I started talking...lol. Also note that we were short on time, we never spend more than 40 seconds at our lockers after lunch...
MR2Aaron Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 I said alright or thanks or something to that effect and she walked to her next class and I followed, she took a look back as she went around the corner. I don't know if this is good/bad and if it is progress as far as talking goes. I shouldn't have expected her to gaze deeply in my eyes and smile when she was explaining a test should I? Thats how it was the other few times, but we were discussing different things. Can I really read anything into this reaction? Uhh, don't follow her to class dude, that's creepy as hell. Edit: No, you can't read anything into that reaction. I'd look over my shoulder too if I sensed someone shadowing me. What you need to do is develop a real rapport with this girl. The next time you see her, smile, say "How's it goin'?" and then make small talk - ask if she's ready for the weekend, laughed when the teacher in your German class tripped, heard how the principal's husband was just discovered to be cheating on her... With a man. I'm borrowing news from my own high school here, you'll obviously have to come up with your own topic to discuss. Frankly, from what you've posted, it sounds like she is only faintly aware of your existence. Edit2: She is cute, though. Reminds me of Emma Watson. I don't think you necessarily need to take the link to the photo down as anything but a courtesy if she put it on photobucket. That's more or less the reason photobucket exists in the first place.
Author almosthere Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 Uhh, don't follow her to class dude, that's creepy as hell. Edit: No, you can't read anything into that reaction. I'd look over my shoulder too if I sensed someone shadowing me. What you need to do is develop a real rapport with this girl. The next time you see her, smile, say "How's it goin'?" and then make small talk - ask if she's ready for the weekend, laughed when the teacher in your German class tripped, heard how the principal's husband was just discovered to be cheating on her... With a man. I'm borrowing news from my own high school here, you'll obviously have to come up with your own topic to discuss. Frankly, from what you've posted, it sounds like she is only faintly aware of your existence. BAHH!!! You mis-understood greatly. We both take the same route every day. She happened to leave first. I wasn't right behind her, a good 30 feet. I wasn't following HER I was simply walking the same way I do every day and she happened to look back. Why do you feel she is only faintly aware? We are in a small school and we definitely know each other. Again, I was not following her. Actually, I usually leave first and she is behind me. I am not the stalker type in the least. I actually am more standoffish than probably anyone you know. I would never stalk a girl like that. I am always very respectful and kind to girls, especially to her. Other guys are like that to her, like ALWAYS trying to talk/get with maybe, her. I am quiet like her, but we connect perfectly when we do talk. Not one awkward thing about it.
Author almosthere Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 One other thing. When we both walked into 4th period right behind each other like every other day the loudspeaker was messed up and the music was real f'd up. I started laughing, and I was laughing 3 seconds later still at which point she started to laugh, like she only was because I was. IDK, it just seemed that way. Whenever I am laughing at something and she doesn't know what it is, she has a smile/grin or whatever on her face. Just some small details.
MR2Aaron Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 BAHH!!! You mis-understood greatly. We both take the same route every day. She happened to leave first. I wasn't right behind her, a good 30 feet. I wasn't following HER I was simply walking the same way I do every day and she happened to look back. Why do you feel she is only faintly aware? We are in a small school and we definitely know each other. Again, I was not following her. Actually, I usually leave first and she is behind me. I am not the stalker type in the least. I actually am more standoffish than probably anyone you know. I would never stalk a girl like that. I am always very respectful and kind to girls, especially to her. Other guys are like that to her, like ALWAYS trying to talk/get with maybe, her. I am quiet like her, but we connect perfectly when we do talk. Not one awkward thing about it. It's just the impression I get from reading your posts. My high school was very large, so you really only knew most people as a name and a face and by what clique they were in unless you were good friends with them. And, for the record, you did say "Then she left, and I followed." At any rate, my suggestion stands - you have to socialize with her if you want to be anything more than "that guy in one of my classes."
Author almosthere Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 It's just the impression I get from reading your posts. My high school was very large, so you really only knew most people as a name and a face and by what clique they were in unless you were good friends with them. And, for the record, you did say "Then she left, and I followed." At any rate, my suggestion stands - you have to socialize with her if you want to be anything more than "that guy in one of my classes." Sure, I agree. My class is about 200 people. Everyone knows everyone, really. If something funny happens at lunch I will bring it up and start a convo, nothing yet. I leave school real quick at the end of the day because I HATE when I see her with her boyfriend. BUT, another thing. In religion class a bunch of names were called over the loudspeaker to go to the office. Some of the kids are there one period of the day, and couldnt go to the office because they weren't there. There were three total who were not there, her boyfriend being one of them. Our teacher called the office and let them know that two of the students weren't there, but didn't mention her boyfriend. Now, wouldn't you expect his girlfriend to say "(His name) is not here either" or SOMETHING to that effect? I get a sense that she is "ashamed" of him, ashamed might be a bad word, but you get the idea. Like when one girl asked her in the beginning of a class, "Are you going out with (his name)?" she said "Can we not talk about it?" ????????????
Road Rage Posted October 26, 2007 Posted October 26, 2007 almosthere You will probably have a tough time getting anywhere with this chick because you are too infatuated with her. It`s blocking your game. If you could be relaxed, open, casual, etc. it would help. But, you got no game. You are really going for Mt Everest right out at the start. You might want to focus on climbing around on some of those other girls too. The more you are able to have a good time with other girls the more rational she will have for being interested in you. I just see the whole thing with you being a really long shot. But, proceed as best you can if that`s what you have your heart set on.
Author almosthere Posted October 26, 2007 Author Posted October 26, 2007 almosthere You will probably have a tough time getting anywhere with this chick because you are too infatuated with her. It`s blocking your game. If you could be relaxed, open, casual, etc. it would help. But, you got no game. You are really going for Mt Everest right out at the start. You might want to focus on climbing around on some of those other girls too. The more you are able to have a good time with other girls the more rational she will have for being interested in you. I just see the whole thing with you being a really long shot. But, proceed as best you can if that`s what you have your heart set on. That's the thing. I am fine talking to any girls at all. But I freeze up around her until we start talking. The boyfriend thing is what kills me. If she did not have one I would just ask her to go to a game with me. It might surprise her, it might not, but I would try. That is unless you are implying that I should get her to cheat. But I wouldn't want that and she isn't the type of girl to do that. I don't want to be like the other guys, really pushy and obvious. She doesn't like that, it's become obvious to me.
Author almosthere Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 Just looking for anymore help. Last bump...
Author almosthere Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 This dude described me perfectly. I took out what didn't apply. I came across this girl three weeks ago that I was completely infatuated with, though I knew her for 4 years. You know the moment? There has been one other person that has had that effect on me in my entire life. It goes beyond purely physical or intellectual attraction. It's entrancing, though she is drop dead gorgeous to me. For reasons that really don't add to this post, dating at this moment is not an option. Not yet. I think of this girl as a great relationship potential. All of the kinds of things I would want in a long term partner. So we are communicating, albeit at a slow and casual pace. The problem: I see this girl as partner material. Though I get completely lost when I look at her, I had her in another mental category. Not the sex category, but the sweet and loving category. I actually find that I am not interested in just having sex with her. I would prefer so much more. These thoughts I have really confuse me. Maybe I read too much into the message, which I know as much as anyone is easy to do. I'm making no decisions and am still going to pursue whatever this is, but I proceed skeptical of the outcome. Maybe this can be insightful for some women seeking a decent guy, maybe not. And yes, despite conclusions some of you may draw about me from my internet style, I am a decent guy. She is everything I had never known before. I'm not sure I get it either.
Road Rage Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 almosthere You are building this girl up too much in your mind. It is because you definitely are infatuated with her. Infatuation is somewhat like being intoxicated, your thinking becomes distorted. Ain`t no girl head and shoulders above the rest until you really get to know her. It`s mostly in your imagination, and this is something that happens to most people sooner or later. Join the club. After you get down off your infatuhigh you will see what I`m talking about. Tread carefully man, this girl could be a toe freak or something:laugh: ....or she may like whips and chains:eek:
Author almosthere Posted October 27, 2007 Author Posted October 27, 2007 almosthere You are building this girl up too much in your mind. It is because you definitely are infatuated with her. Infatuation is somewhat like being intoxicated, your thinking becomes distorted. Ain`t no girl head and shoulders above the rest until you really get to know her. It`s mostly in your imagination, and this is something that happens to most people sooner or later. Join the club. After you get down off your infatuhigh you will see what I`m talking about. Tread carefully man, this girl could be a toe freak or something:laugh: ....or she may like whips and chains:eek: From what I know, this girl is very shy and quiet-unless you know her, like outside of school. But she is still pretty "shy" and calm. My life would be complete if I got one date with her. No, I am not a short fat and desperate kid-hell-there are a handful of good looking girls who I could date right now, but none like her. She is perfect in so many ways. I would NEVER date a girl unless there is a POSSIBILITY that I could marry her. Is this good? I am like a 1930's stereotypical gentlemen in sooo many ways.
blueberry sundae Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 Roadrage is not the one to accept advice from, almostthere. You respect women a lot more than he does. To use the word "climb around" in reference to high school girls is a sign of a weirdo. Girls in high school don't want a guy who has slept with a lot of girls or who has dated a lot just to date. I am a female and was in high school and Roadrage doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. From what you've posted before, she might like you. HOwever, you're going to have to make a move, but still be able to accept the possibility that she might turn you down.
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